The Ramblings of a Kindred Spirit

Becoming Desperate...

2011-11-28T18:43:00.000-05:00

Right now in my English literature class we are reading some of the works from a writer named John Donne. I can admit that poetry doesn’t always grab me but there are some poems that catch me off guard. They strike me in ways that it’s hard to believe a poem can. Last Thursday we read one of John Donne's poems and at first I didn’t like it because it made me uncomfortable. My friend loved it and so we talked about it after class. Then it wouldn’t leave me…all weekend long it was there. I have to write it out…..

“Batter my heart, three-person’d God; for, you

As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;

That I may rise, and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend

Your force, to break, blow, burn and make me new.

I, like an usurp’d town, to another due.

Labour to admit you, but Oh, to no end,

Reason your viceroy in me, me should defend,

But is captiv’d, and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,

But am betroth’d unto your enemy:

Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,

Take me to you, imprison me, for I

Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

John Donne ~ Holy Sonnets

This is a violent sonnet. The writer is basically asking God to be violent with him until God is everything to him.

Does it make you uncomfortable?

My professor compared the word “ravish” in the last line to the word “rape”.

I hate the word rape….I hate it for all it represents. I hate that it’s become slang in our culture and we use it as a joke. That word gives me shivers. I don’t understand how you can take a word that represents such torment and invasion of someone’s will and use it in your everyday humorous language. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

Rape is a violent word. It represents becoming powerless and you will being overcome by someone.

Is this really what the writer means?

I read his words and I can feel his desperation for God to invade him. He doesn’t want his will to win even if it’s painful and it has to be broken.

I don’t understand this kind of desperation. If I were honest I would say that it scares me. I don’t know if I could say these words to God? I don’t know if I am desperate for him.

As I’ve been contemplating the state of not only my life but of our culture, I’ve been thinking about how easy it is for me to go through my day without depending on God at all. When I really need Him then I can depend on him but how often is that?

I am a blessed woman. I have food, I have shelter, I’m getting a great education and I have a family that loves me. I am not really in desperate need of anything and I don’t really want to be.

But the thing is that I want to be desperate for Jesus.

I want to love Him first; I want to know Him so much deeper than I do. I want Him to pour out of me and I want to say that I’m desperate for His presence. I want Him to invade my life but am I desperate for this? Maybe I’m scared of what that might mean? Maybe I’m not sure how to not just say it but to live it? I don’t just want to go through the motions of saying I need Him and saying that I love Him but not living in this reality.

And I don’t know where all of my questions and theological issues fit into all of this. How can you be desperate when there are so many things you don’t understand and when sometimes you’re honestly afraid to trust Him because you might get hurt?

I don’t know.

I don’t even know if I’m expected to have this desperation? Is it only for the few that can handle it? If I want to be desperate then am I just asking for hardship, and am I shallow if this makes me not want to ask for it?

I’m left somewhere in the middle of all this stuff, overcome with my shallow faith and my inadequateness.

And yet somehow His grace covers me,

even in this place.

The Ugly Meter...

2011-11-15T20:13:00.000-05:00

If you know me than you know that I’m an Apple guru. I may have even been the one to convert you….helped you see the light. There’s been many that have been stuck in darkness that I’ve led to see the light and those Apple users have never turned back. Once you go Mac you never go back; it really is that simple.

I’m straying from my point, sorry.

Today I was surfing the app store on my iPhone. I’m not an app queen, of course I enjoy using them but I’m not on top of the latest and hottest apps but I decided to look around today. I found some gems – the “Timmy Time” app, the “Starbucks” app, “The Gas Buddy” app (shows me where the cheapest gas is) and the “find my iPhone” app but there was another app I came across that I chose not to download for some reason. It’s the “Ugly Meter” app and here’s the description:

“Do you ever wonder if you’re ugly and your friends just don’t tell you?
Do you have an ugly friend, and you just don’t know how to tell them?
The Ugly Meter takes your photo and scans the details of your face to give you a rating of 1-10 on the Ugly Scale. If you rate a 10, you probably have a face that only a mother could love. Depending on how bad your rating is, the Ugly Meter will comment on your looks! Who’s the hottest? Now you can find out”.

And we wonder why we have a society filled with people who hate themselves?

We wonder why we have kids growing up with self-esteem issues?

We wonder why we have so many relationships failing when they’re built purely on outer beauty that fades?

In case you’re not quite convinced that you’re beautiful, why don’t you allow an app to give you a good dose of truth?

I’m so glad someone out there has created yet another app that proves just how shallow and degrading our society is. Instead of looking to the creator of the universe who constructed our innermost parts, who knows how many hairs are on our heads and whose thoughts about us outnumber the grains of sand, instead of looking to Him we can now look to an app to give us an accurate measure of our worth!

It’s disgusting really.

It’s disgusting because we have taken a word that was not meant to be purely physical and made it just that. “Beautiful” has become an analysis of our face and of our body, when what it should look at is our hearts and our minds.

I care for a lady who is severely disabled. I know that when someone who doesn’t know her sees her, they wouldn’t call her beautiful. But I know this woman’s heart, I know her quirks, I know the sound of her laugh and the touch of her gentle hand on mind.

I know her and because I know her I know that she is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. She was knit together by the master, He sees her and He knows her heart and He calls her beautiful.

And He does that for me too.

I had coffee with a friend this morning and in a rare occasion I opened up about my own insecurities. I told her that I don’t usually feel beautiful and that most of the time I feel that no one could possibly ever love me. It’s easy for me to tell someone else they are beautiful and to share with them all the reasons why I think so but when it comes to myself I just can’t believe it is true.

And maybe it has something to do with the idea of the Ugly Meter, maybe I have a very distorted idea of what beauty is really all about and maybe I’m not the only one?

Perhaps the lies rooted in the Ugly Meter have seeped into our culture so much that they’ve also seeped into our hearts and we don’t even realize it.

Beauty is more than what we’ve made it.

It’s not skin deep and it’s not a rating on a stupid app.

And I think that might be the message that some of us need to hear right now, in this moment.

We need to breathe it in, let those word go right to our very souls.

I need to do that.

I think we all have this longing to be known and understood and to be accepted even with all of our flaws and our faults. I’m not quite sure we will ever meet anyone who can love us and fulfill the desire of our hearts the way we hope for. I think only Jesus can meet that need. I think He’s the only one who can come into the deepest places of our soul and wash away the lies we’ve come to believe.

And when we let Him in, I think He will speak these words over us…

“I made you and I know all about you. You don’t have to try to hide. Who you are is enough. You are worthy of love and you are loved. I see you and I call you beautiful”.

So the question becomes:

When the creator of the universe notices me and when He calls me beautiful,

why in the world would I need to buy an app to do that?

Yours truly,

~The Kindred Spirit

A Fall Update...

2011-11-12T23:53:00.000-05:00

I've been in the city for almost 3 months and I haven't written one single word on here. I thought I'd have more time to write but the challenge of going back to school has certainly been keeping me busy. I'm adjusting fairly well to the city life except for the whole not going out between 3pm and 7pm due to CRAZY traffic jams....it's no lie....Toronto traffic is nuts!

A little while ago I was considering adding a Philosophy minor to my degree so I went to speak with one of the Philosophy professors who somehow convinced me to major in Philosophy! I added a religious studies minor onto that so I now have the best of both worlds. It's been really neat how I feel like God has just orchestrated things at Tyndale. I never would have applied to major in Philosophy in a million years but not that I'm here in this environment I'm learning that Philosophy is such a great fit with my personality and the inner workings of my mind. It fascinates me how God moves us into the places where He knows will be best for us and it's not something we could ever figure out on our own.

So that said....I'm now a Philosophy Major and with the addition of the minor plus all of my transfer credits I'll be at Tyndale for the next two years hopefully!

I never would have been so engaged in my studies if I decided to go to University earlier. College was a whole different ball game, much more practical....my mind is being stretched beyond belief now and I feel as though a lot of my world view is in pieces on the floor and I'm entering into the intentional and somewhat uncomfortable process of trying to figure out which piece fits where. It will be a lifelong journey but I think it makes for a more meaningful and rich life. It's slowly changing me.

There are so many things I could write here....things that I'm grappling with and oh so many new "city lessons" I'm learning....and I'm sure I would put more effort into pouring them out here if I didn't have so much reading and paper writing to do! It's the life of a student I guess!

Words can't express how thankful I feel for this time in my life. Time to learn and think and be in a different place. It's such a gift.

Along with my lack of writing I have also not been taking as many pictures as I would like to....my hobby of photography has also been put on the back burner a little bit but I have managed to capture a few shots of the first few months....here are just a few favourites...

I got the opportunity to hear Rob Bell speak and even got to meet him....a very special highlight for me!

This is Taylor....one of the most amazing people I have ever met...she is one of the lovely people that I get to hang out with everyday!

The Civil Wars, one of my favourite musical duo's came to Toronto and played at The Pheonix, I was front row....and boy was it fantastic!

There really is no music sweeter!

I hope fall is finding you well....and I hope to be able to write a bit more when things slow down.

Grace & Peace,
Darc :)

Ending Is Beginning...

2011-06-20T00:12:00.000-04:00

Is ending really beginning?

For the last 19 years I've lived in Wainfleet. I've had my childhood here. I've made some of my dearest friends here. I've moved to the highway twice and back to Perry Road three times. I've learned to drive, learned to wear jeans, learned to work, made it through Winger School, E.L. Crossley Secondary School and Niagara College and all while breathing this country air into my soul. My roots have grown deep into this place, into the fabric of life here; so much of me is woven into the people here and the experiences we've had together.

In September I'm moving to Toronto to go back to school, I've written about this previously, which means that for me this summer is one of finishing. I'm finishing a job that I've loved at a church that I've loved. I'm finishing another job at a group home full of people that I've come to love and cherish. I'm finishing being a jr. high leader to my kiddos at Port Colborne, hoping that someone will take my place and love my girls just as much as I do. And while I've felt led all along that this is the right thing, I didn't really imagine the grief that comes along with finishing, in a way, with ending.

4 and a half years ago the children's pastor at Wainfleet BIC and myself sat in an empty board room at a large table overwhelmed with the task before us; to begin something new. We wanted to start a new Sunday School program at Wainfleet, one that would be drastically different from anything done before, with new approaches, a new style and a new look. We were overwhelmed but began to put the pieces together one by one, we dreamed and brainstormed and prayed that God would give us the right people in the right places. It's been 4 years since the beginning of 252 Basics and I'm amazed at how much the program has evolved, how our team has grown and become stronger, how I've watched people serve, watched people become better leaders, give of their time, their energy, their gifts and how much those things have impacted us as a church family and impacted me individually. I'm not the same person that I was when we started 4 years ago and I wouldn't be surprised if there are others that could say the same thing. Last Sunday we had our end of year 252 Basics party and we sang and played games and ate yummy snacks and we had a sharing time where the kids could share some of their favourite 252 memories. I was amazed at how many of the kids shared memories not just from this year but some even from our very first year. At the beginning of the party I welcomed the kids and asked them if they were excited and one of the kids who I never really thought loved being there shouted out 'NOOOO'. In my head I was thinking of course we would go to all this work to plan a fun morning and first thing you shout out is that you're not excited! I said to him 'what do you mean no, this is a party', to my amazement he responded that his lack of excitement was because it was the last 252 Basics of the school year. I was shocked! This little guy's response probably will never leave me because in his one little statement I was reminded why it's all worth it. That was my last day leading 252 Basics and it was a perfect ending.

As I begin to think about not going to work at Bethesda in September and not seeing the ladies I already feel an emptiness in my stomach. As I think about not coming into the church office and having 3 hour check-ins with Renee, the children's pastor, I can already feel my heart sinking. As I think about not being at youth on Tuesday nights to hear my girls talking about their boy problems, their friend and family problems, their French work that they hate, the test they didn't study for but still fervently prayed that they would pass, and hear them laugh and giggle and brace myself for them jumping onto my back at any moment, I already miss it and it's not even gone. As I think about the wonderful childhood that I've had; waking up and walking downstairs to find my Mom in her brown rocker praying for the day, setting my alarm 5 minutes earlier so I could beat Josh into the shower, long drives with Dad talking about everything from how standard vehicles work to the theology of the church and always being able to have a good laugh with Greg, hearing Ben laugh and yell at the top of his lungs during the singing time at church, as I think about these things I realize how these moments and these memories have each ben gifts.

Someone asked me the other day if I'm planning on coming home on weekends and I realized by the tone of the conversation that they assumed that my life would still be based here but I'd just be finishing up school. This might have been the case if I'd gone straight to University after high school but I think maybe it's different because I'm a bit older now and it's time to start something new. In a way I feel like I'm leaving my childhood and beginning the next chapter. And I'm scared to death. I'm scared that it will be a mistake, that I'll get there and want to come back, that I'll wish I'd never left. It's a risk and with any risk there's always a chance of those things but there's also a chance that it will be great. That what is ahead will be worth the pain of finishing what is behind. But I'll never know if I don't take the risk.

If I'm a bit sentimental these days you'll know why. I'm recollecting 19 years of wonderful memories, I'm looking back at how much we've all changed, I'm hugging longer, taking more pictures, and maybe shedding just a few more tears. I'm trying to figure out what it means to let go without secretly holding on. And for the first time in my life if you ask me what I'm going to do when I'm done school, I'm going to tell you that I don't have a plan. I've always had a plan, it didn't always happen like I thought it would but I've always at least mapped out a few possible routes. This time I'm plan-less.

And do you know what?

It feels great.

They say that to start a new chapter you have to close the last one. I don't remember them saying too much about the ache that seems to accompany it. But in all these things I hold tightly to the promise that I go forth not alone.

And just maybe I'll find out that ending really is beginning.

Handicap Parking Bust At The Seaway Mall, Shame!

2011-06-16T22:14:00.000-04:00

I sent this letter to the editor of a local paper earlier this week.....it was a bit of a vent....thought I'd share it. Please note my use of sarcasm in the article...

If you hail from anywhere in the Niagara region then you’ve probably chuckled at the Seaway Mall’s continuous attempts to be better, bigger and let’s be honest, to not die a slow death. Just a tip for the mall admin: you might want to rub shoulders with the city of Welland parking enforcement officers if you want a bit more business. I’ve shopped at the Seaway Mall and heck I’ve even worked there but last Friday’s events may have just made me a permanent Pen Centre shopper.

I work for a local organization that serves individuals with mental and physical disabilities. Last Friday I took one of the individuals I work with to the movies and on a rare occasion I opted to take her to the Seaway Mall Cinema instead of the other larger theatres with more comfortable seating. The car I was driving had an up to date handicapped-parking permit displayed in the windshield as usual and so I pulled into the handicapped parking spot to give plenty of room to unload the wheelchair and make an easy transfer. After the movie I headed out to the car and while pushing the individual in the wheelchair an older gentleman that was parked beside the car approached me and pointed out the parking ticket on my windshield, puzzled as to why I would have gotten a ticket when my permit was displayed in perfect view. One might think the ticket would have only been for a mere 10 or 20 dollars but the spot checked off was for a whopping 300 dollars; the fullest amount possible!

A few days later as I stood in City Hall arguing my case to the poor woman who happened to be running the parking reinforcement desk that day, she showed me the picture that was taken of the car by the parking officer who had issued the colossal ticket. I laughed and looked at her in amazement; the only part of the permit that was not being displayed was the fine print at the bottom that was slightly difficult to see because of a small tinting line across the bottom of the windshield. The lady at the desk responded to my look of shock by adding that the parking attendant was also short. I should have asked if the parking officer was below 3 feet tall, I would have just paid the money if she said yes. Luckily the parking ticket was forgiven (thank goodness for my yearly forgiveness card).

The ticket is not the point, we all get tickets for things we do or don’t deserve. Perhaps the point is that while one anal individual signs their name, making their daily ticket quota, another individual looks at the ticket and wonders why it can’t ever be easy? Really it’s not as if a person with a disability does not have enough to overcome, why don’t you just add an extra $300 and a whole lot of hassle onto their all ready too heavy load? Or why don’t you penalize the support worker because they were too busy taking care of someone, making sure they were fully supported and safe that they forgot to check to make sure the small print on the permit was over the tint line, shoot! Are we creating a society that thinks empathetically, I’m not so sure? But I am sure of one thing, next time I head on an outing to the movies, I won’t be choosing the Seaway Mall. One more thing, maybe the city of Welland should implement a new regulation that says parking officers must be over 3 feet tall, might save the Seaway Mall another store?

A little Jr. High Spice of Life...

2011-03-23T21:14:00.000-04:00

Over the last two years I have fallen in love with Jr. High Students. I didn’t expect it. It was one of those answers to my prayers; one of those answers that I thought would look a lot differently.

Two years ago I began praying for new friendships, for something different to be a part of, something new. I thought that if God chose to work this out in my life then it would come in the form of some new people I would meet that would introduce me to new people and so on, all people my age or older. Clearly, my thinking was inside the lines.

Two years ago a friend of mine moved to the area to take on the role of the Youth Pastor at a nearby church. He needed some female leaders and so I said I would come out, unsure of the time commitment I would be able to make due to working shift work. I started going to the weekly youth night regularly and began trying to build some friendships with the kids. The youth pastor had gotten together a team of young adults to lead the program, only a few of us actually knowing each other. After youth every week we would head to Tim Hortons to hang out and talk about the night. Those first few meetings were a bit awkward, as we didn’t really know each other too well.

It’s funny as I reflect on those first few weeks now…..it’s funny because I didn’t know then that…

…That team of young adult leaders would become my close friends, an unexpected community. We laugh with and at each other, we miss one another when one of us is absent, we see the gifts we each have to offer and we pray for each other’s needs.

…I never thought that I would love the kids as much as I do. My small group of girls have absolutely stolen my heart and I can’t get enough of these ladies….they’re spunk, energy, and passion for life is contagious! They bring out the best in me, they remind me what really matters and they never neglect to speak it like it is, which can be challenging sometimes but it brings this realness that we don’t always get with adults.

…Tuesday nights (jr. high youth night) would become my favourite night of the week!

…I never expected that I would get the blessing of being able to speak into some of these kids’ lives. I didn’t think they would share their stories with all their hurts and their joys and their young emotions with me. I didn’t think they would bring their toughest questions to me. I didn’t think that I would get to witness them learning to pray and learning that God cares about ‘their stuff’.

I didn’t expect that a bunch of jr. high students and a few leaders would be the answer to my prayer.

Even more, I didn’t expect that they’d far exceed my prayer.

And I am reminded in these moments of reflection that God does know best, that His plans for me are better than my plans for me and that He has better ways for me to use the gifts He’s given me than I could think of myself.

And sometimes I forget these things.

But I see this...

And this...

And this too...

And I get yet another glimpse of the GOOD things God can bring into your life when you ask Him and when you’re open to the possibilities He might have for you.

And it's really true,

Jr. High's really do bring some serious SPICE into your life! ;)

~Darc

A Complete Write-Off...

2011-02-12T16:42:00.000-05:00

I had a terrible day yesterday. It was a complete write-off to my "Bring on the Laughter" post. I didn't accomplish any of my goals,

NOT

ONE

SINGLE

ONE!

I got home from work and made a bee line for my room, I thought that not talking to anyone would be the safest option since I'm pretty sure I was ready to snap at anyone who so much as looked at me.

I mean, if Jesus would have been in my room in the flesh, I think I would have snapped at him too.

Heaven forbid.

Seriously, I hate days like that.

However, I did have one bright spot. This video and I must share it with you and please, you must watch it...

Don't you just love this? I feel like I can breathe a little deeper after seeing it....one goal accomplished!

Hope your day is bright,
Darc

Bring on the Laughter...

2011-02-09T22:27:00.001-05:00

I’ve been reading a new book.

Ok, that’s not true.

I’ve been reading several new books.

My favourite is this one called “The Happiness Project” written by Gretchen Rubin. The book is an international bestseller and I certainly know why, it’s absolutely fantastic.

Anyways, in one of the chapters I was reading, Gretchen was writing about her goal of starting a blog. One of the tips she received about starting a blog was that you need to post on it everyday. Clearly my mind wandered to my blog and how I’m lucky if I update it once a year! Maybe it’s not that bad. I think I go in blogging spurts, like I get in a blogging phase and I just blog blog blog and then the phase ends and I take a serious blogging hiatus.

At least I’ve started to recognize the pattern of my behaviour, that’s the first step right?

Moving on…

Can you believe it’s February already? All I can say is Bring on the Spring, that and the end of the Valentines Day season!

I feel like my mind’s been moving at the speed of light lately. So much to think about. I’m starting to get super pumped about moving to Toronto next September. In case I haven’t filled you in yet I’m going back to school next fall. I’m going to be finishing my BA in religious studies from Tyndale University College and Seminary. Yes, this country girl will be packing up and moving to the big city! You’ll for sure want to tune into the blog next fall to read up on how the transition goes. I can see it now, September’s first blog will be entitled “Darcie learns to ride a city bus”, it’s going to be EPIC!

After being inspired by a conversation I had with my Dad I decided to create a “dream journal”. Basically it is a journal where I write down short snip-its of dreams and hopes I have, things that inspire me, quotes that I love, words that move my spirit and the endless possibilities that each day can hold and each life can bring. I’ve decided I want to be the kind of person that dreams, that always looks for possibility and is determined to live the best life! That saying, I also am learning that to accomplish this requires me not just to say it but to actively choose it, which is not always so easy. I’ll let you take a brief glimpse into my dream journal and I’ll share a few quotes that have been inspiring me lately….

“If you’re going to risk and maybe fail, fail at something that matters. Fail gloriously so that even in failure, lives change.” ~Jon Acuff

“God wants to usher us into new seasons….some of us won’t go into the new season because we don’t know how to let go of the old season.” ~Bill Hybles (paraphrase)

“Whatever it is that we are hanging onto that keeps us from the life that God wants us to live becomes sin….it keeps us from living fully alive, it is baggage that we need to drop, it is baggage we need to let go of. ~Ken Davis

“It’s easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” ~G.K. Chesterton

I love that last one. I’m notorious for taking myself too seriously, I’m trying to change this but like it says, it’s hard to be light! So I figure perhaps I should make a list of how I can work at being light…this is what I got so far….feel free to add to it…

· -Laugh More.

-Think about positive things.

-Try to banish guilt.

-Think about 3 things I’m grateful for each day.

-Cut people some slack.

-Dance.

-Break a rule.

-Give someone a hug lasting at least 6 seconds at least once a day. (6 seconds is the minimum time necessary to promote the flow of oxytocin and serotonin, mood-boosting chemicals that promote bonding)

-Breathe deep.

It’s a list in progress. The big thing I’m realizing is that

LIFE IS A GIFT

…and I don’t want to waste it. I want to take it and live it for all it’s worth and I don’t want to look back and wish I didn’t settle for something less that what could have been.

It’s a bit of a mind and heart shift, one that I’m learning and one I think you should think about learning too!

Well that’s enough ranting for now.

I’ll work on blogging a bit more frequently…it’s a good goal.

Sweet Dreams,

The Kindred Spirit

2011-01-25T17:31:00.002-05:00

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'Tis the Season to be JOLLY!!!!

2010-12-18T13:46:00.002-05:00

After a brief blogging hiatus, to which I’m sure my millions of readers where deeply saddened (please note the SARCASM), I’d like to personally tell you that I’M BACK BABY, I’M BACK!!!!

‘Tis the season to be JOLLY and there’s plenty to be jolly about. Let me show you what I love most about this season….

This

And This

And that right there

Oh and this too!

And I can't forget my annual Christmas pic....here's one right here...

...So since Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year, I thought I’d better share some of my favourite things….

#1 ~ Peppermint Mocha Frappacino’s at Starbucks (this is the only time of the year where they’ll put the

chocolate shavings on the top).

#2 ~ Getting to bust out my very best winter scarves.

#3 ~ The pond being frozen, it’s pond hockey time!

#4 ~ Getting dressed up for Christmas parties.

#5 ~ Having a legit excuse to eat so many yummy goodies! ;)

#6 ~ Watching Christmas specials on tv with the fam, while cuddled in a blanket on the couch.

#7 ~ The streets lit up from Christmas lights.

#8 ~ Christmas Music….I LOVE it!!!!

#9 ~ Giving and getting gifts (Giving gifts is my expressive love language but it’s fun to get them too)!

#10 ~ The smell and twinkle of our REAL Christmas tree in the living room, there’s nothing better!

So there’s just a few of my holiday favourites.

Hope you’re enjoying your favourite things this holiday season!

We have much reason to celebrate,

~The Kindred Spirit

Only Part Of The Story...

2010-11-24T01:48:00.005-05:00

I’m sitting here at the airport in Port Au Prince, Haiti. I arrived here quite a bit early so I have some time to sit here and think. It seems I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. I woke up early this morning and it seems that before the sun even rose I knew that the word for this day would be bittersweet. I have been here in Haiti for almost 2 weeks and in that short time I’ve been moved beyond words. Now it’s time to go back home for a while, which is sweet in every way but also a bit sad because I will miss the people that I have grown to love in such a short time.

Tonight I will arrive back in Canada. The cold air will welcome me. The Christmas lights will twinkle hello as I pass them by, reminding me of the quickly approaching celebration. I will not be in the minority any more and I will understand the words people are speaking around me. I will return to a country of order where you must have a seatbelt if you are riding in a car, the price on something to be purchased is set, not bartered and I must travel a great distance to see beautiful mountains.

As I traveled the Haitian roads this morning for the last time, for a while at least, I tried to take in everything I saw, every person, every glimpse of the homes, of the vehicles, of the mountains and the sea because I never want to forget it. I never want to forget that there is another part of the story. That my home and the places I know and the faces I see every day and the way we live is not the whole story. There is another part and God knows it, He created it and He cares for it. I want to celebrate that my part of the story is only a very miniscule piece of the puzzle. I want to celebrate that there is a big world out there and it breaks down every wall of my box. It breaks down every thought I have about how I think things should be and it challenges the boundaries of my faith.

I was talking with one of the Haitians a few days ago, someone who has become my friend and I asked him why he loved Haiti? In the few English words he knew, he replied, “because I am Haitian”. I think for a long time I thought that my way of life was what everyone needs, what everyone should want and that thought too has been challenged during my time here. The people here love their country and they care for one another and they don’t NEED my way of life. My way is not better or the way it should be, my way of life is simply different, it’s just one part of the story. So, Lord please forgive me for thinking that I know better, for thinking that my way is better, rid me of thinking or even acting that I am and my way is superior. I wonder what would happen if I loved Canada and it’s people like my friend loves Haiti? I wonder what would happen if we as Canadians prayed for our country like the people at the Church of Hope pray for their country? I have a lot to learn from the people here.

I hope that someday I’ll be able to return to Haiti but until then I have a million memories that leave me with feelings of the best kind of nostalgia. I will cherish these and treasure them in my heart without fail.

Haiti has been one of the sweetest gifts, one that will always captivate a piece of my heart.

And today, throughout the tangled web of my feelings I think the biggest one I feel is thanksgiving. There is so much I have to be thankful for and for right now it’s the one I’m going to revel in because the other stuff will unravel itself with time.

So thank you for your prayers and your thoughts especially over the past 2 weeks, it’s been an incredible adventure and I look forward to many more to come!

Blessings on you today,

~Darcie

Greetings From Haiti...

2010-11-17T12:39:00.000-05:00

Well I made it safely to Haiti last week and I am experiencing so much. I just did a guest spot on Diana's blog where I write a bit about my experience thus far. Please check it out here!

More to come soon!

I appreciate all of your prayers.

Love,

Darcie

A Short Little Update From Moi...

2010-11-04T22:58:00.000-04:00

Oh wow.....these past few weeks seem to have been the busiest EVER!!!!!!

First of all I moved....again, yes I know!

But I just moved down the road....it's a lovely house. I had a bit of a meltdown trying to move my stuff from a very large room to a very small room but I'm moved in, mostly and adjusting quickly to my smaller but very cozy room. It still needs to be painted but that will come. Unfortunately I hurt my back and neck and have been trying to nurse those injuries for the last week (blah) and hopefully they will be somewhat better when I leave for Haiti next Thursday.

YES.

You heard me correctly....I'm flying to Haiti next Thursday to visit my very best friend and kindred spirit Diana. I'll be staying with her for 12 days and I'm a bit nervous to say the least. Nervous for so many reasons, most of which I'm not sure I can even explain. I still have to pack but I have had a twinrex vaccine, a typhoid vaccine, a cholera vaccine and some malaria pills, which are still going strong for another 6 weeks, too bad there's nothing to prepare me for the heat I'm about to experience! Hopefully I'll have a chance to blog a bit in Haiti and I can fill you in on my short term experience. I'd greatly appreciate your prayers.

I'd also like to share a few of this cutie pie pics with you.....hello Halloween....

Aren't these seriously the cutest kids!

So I apologize for my short update....hopefully I'll blog more later.

Sweet Dreams,
Darc

They're Getting MARRIED!!!!

2010-10-15T16:37:00.002-04:00

So about a month and a bit ago one of my very best friends got ENGAGED! This is BIG news. For such a long time my dear sweet friends Vicki and Diana have been my single ladies....we've walked the single road hand in hand celebrating the joys of the life and struggling with the longings of the heart. Although it was a bit of an adjustment to our little singles club when Vicki started dating Donald my heart leaped for her because she had found someone to love who would love her in return! I was SHOCKED when Vicki and Donald called me right after he popped the question....I knew they were talking about marriage but I never expected it so soon....I think I was speechless, which happens rarely (the last Oprah show being one of these times).

It's a pretty adorable story really. Vicki is a bit older than Donald....she was even his youth leader for a short amount of time. Donald has always loved Vicki....she's always been the apple of his eye. We used to joke about it....the cute little crush. Well about 2 years ago Vicki wanted to learn how to snowboard and so Donald made it his project to teach her. He was diligent about this and researched the best ways to teach someone step by step from the beginning stages. He did a great job too...Vicki indeed learned how to snowboard. Somewhere in here things started to change....I even started picking up on a few things. Diana and Vicki and I were having a girls night one night when I remember saying "you know Vick, Donald has a pretty big crush on you, like I think it might be more than a little high school crush, he really likes you....you wouldn't ever consider going for him....would you?" It was in that moment that Vicki's face said it all....she was considering it. The rest is history....they started dating, they both moved out west to go to school for a year, which we all thought would be the test of the relationship and they came back stronger than ever. And next June I will get to stand beside one of my best friends and watch her commit herself to the man that she has waited so patiently for. And we are going to DANCE and LAUGH and CELEBRATE love and remember that it's so worth waiting for.

Here's a few pics of Donald and Vick....

I know....they're a pretty good looking couple! Oh and did I mention that I get to be a bridesmaid for the FIRST TIME EVER?!?!? Can you tell....I'm just a tiny bit excited!

So here's to waiting for love....so happy for you Donald and Vick,
~Darc

Love, Love, LOVE FALL!!!!

2010-10-15T15:56:00.000-04:00

Oh how I love fall...

We took a little trip to the pumpkin patch!

Above is me sling shooting a little gourd....check out that form!

These have got to be the cutest little twins ever...and they have red hair, which seriously makes them like 10 times cuter and they're on teddy bear leashes...be still my heart!

These two beautiful girls are my sweet cousins who I definitely don't get to see enough of....luckily Thanksgiving reunited us once again....so thankful!

I LOVE this child....I think my heart has been stolen by this cute little pumpkin!

My Brother, The Musician...

2010-10-15T14:51:00.002-04:00

For us Canadians this past weekend was Thanksgiving and boy did we have beautiful weather! I had to work most of the long weekend but thankfully I had the Saturday off. I got to spend the day with friends and family and I even managed to fit in some time to practice my photography skills (at least the ones I've been trying to acquire through my class). My brother came home from Ottawa for the weekend and so I convinced him to let me take some "band shots" of him since he is the musician in the family.

I know he secretly loved it...here's just a few...

You can check out Greg's music here....DO IT!!!!

Hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful....I know I have SO much to be thankful for! :)

Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit

I'm Speechless So I'll Blog About It...

2010-10-14T23:25:00.000-04:00

I'm still in utter disbelief....

I was watching Oprah today...

yes, I know....

moving on....Oprah had a man on the show who has 4 wives and 16 children all together.

4 WIVES!!!!

All of the wives and their kids, except for one, live under one roof.

And I watched the show and listened to these women talk and in all honesty they seem fairly happy but I'm having a bit of trouble understanding as a woman how it's ok to share your husband with 3 other women?

I'm having trouble understanding how you have a marriage and all the things that marriage means with someone who you know is married to other people as well.

I just don't get it?

Honestly, I've just never seen anything like it in my life....I had to blog about it...lol!

Free, Free at Last...

2010-09-27T23:33:00.000-04:00

A few days ago one of the gentlemen from another one of the group homes under the organization I work for passed away. One thing you must understand is that each group home is different, each one has a different group dynamic, each one looks different and each one has a different name. In many of the group homes the clients have lived together for many years of their lives and so in one sense they are each other's family. They laugh together, they fight with one another, they learn to know each other's moods and voices.

The group home that this gentleman lived in is a house full of older men. They are a sweet bunch of fellows and if you'd see them in their sweater vests and trousers you'd probably think they looked like your grandpas. They are all developmentally disabled and most of them all have physical disabilities as well. These men have lived together for most of their lives.

Today was the memorial service for the one that went to be with Jesus. It was my first memorial service as a support worker and we took several ladies from our home. The service was a lovely one; a great tribute to the memory of this individual. I'll admit that I wasn't expecting to be gripped really at all. I didn't know this individual very well; I've seen him on several occasions and stopped to chat only a few times. I know a few of the other men in his home a bit better and I shouldn't have favourites but in this house I do. There is one of the men who I stop to talk with frequently. He is small and his body is very crippled and you'd have to listen very carefully to make out his speech but he is spirited and very smart. He has the best laugh and to my dismay he loves the Toronto Maple Leafs. He drives his automatic wheelchair up and down the road and on the sunny days the staff always put his umbrella up so he doesn't get a sun burn. Hands down, he is without a doubt my favourite. This morning, I watched the men from the group home from my seat at the back of the chapel. Several of the staff were crying but I was taken back when about midway through the service my favourite grandma from the house started weeping. The sounds of his sobs filled the room as the lady sitting beside him helped to wipe his tears. My eyes welled with tears as I listened to this sweet man grieve, knowing all too well what it feels like to lose a brother.

As I am still reflecting on the service my thoughts come back to the type of community I witnessed today. I am reminded that you don't have to share the same blood to be family. I think about this in the home that I work in as well. Last week one of the ladies wasn't feeling the greatest and wanted to stay in bed for most of the day. I propped her up in her bed and sat and fed her some lunch as I chatted with her, even though she wasn't in a very chatty mood. On the other side of the house one of the other ladies was agitated and screaming quite loudly and as I sat with the woman she chuckled and said "too loud" so I asked her who it was and she told me right away. I am reminded over and over again about how well these ladies know one another. I am fascinated by the way they interact, good and bad. I would argue with anyone in the world who says that people who have severe developmental and physical disabilities cannot experience community because if you would have been at that memorial service today and heard the sound of those tears you would have no doubt that what you just witnessed was a direct result of community. Hellen Keller once wrote this: "When indeed shall we learn that we are all related to one another, that we are all members of one body?" This truth rang true once again today.

If you remember to, say a prayer for these men as there is an empty room in their house now and as we are certain in this case that it's a lot harder for the ones left behind than it is for the one who is free now.

Yours Truly,
~The Kindred Spirit

A Sabbath in Every Way...

2010-09-24T22:49:00.000-04:00

I am one of those people who gets the somewhat unfortunate job of working every weekend. I say unfortunate not because of the nature of the work but because of the fact that most of the people I get together with have the weekends off, which means that we typically have opposite schedules. I've been working every weekend for almost a year now and it's beginning to take it's toll. I don't mind working Saturdays but working Sundays is the kicker for me. I'm a pastors kid and throughout my life Sundays have been made up of church, lunches out with the youth, movies, afternoon sleeps, hockey games, and take out night with the fam among other wonderful things. I think there's a chance that I took having Sundays off for granted. Last Sunday was our church's annual Barn Party at Balls Falls. One of my co-workers took pity on me and said she would work my Sunday if I worked her Monday shift....BLESS THIS WOMAN! So last Sunday I had the entire day off! I went to church and I wasn't distracted by thoughts of having to head to work right after lunch. I went out for lunch with a bunch of friends and then we headed to the Barn Party. The day was wonderful and such a blessing for me, it was a Sabbath in every way. Balls Falls is also a beautiful location for picture taking, which of course I (and a few of my camera jealous friends) indulged in...

These are the types of days that remind me of all that's good in the world.

Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit

A "Sweet" Start To My Day...

2010-09-14T12:41:00.000-04:00

I'm on a major exercise kick right now. This morning I got up early to go for a walk/run, it was a beautiful morning and I really enjoyed listening to my music while I motored it down the street. Seriously when a rocking beat comes on my ipod I just naturally seem to sway my hips a bit wider! Anyways when I got back into the house I sat down to catch my breath and have some breakfast.

Sidenote: I am a huge lover of lemonade....in particular raspberry lemonade. The raspberry stuff is harder to get your hands on though so usually I just drink the regular stuff. There is this one brand of lemonade called "simply lemonade" and I don't know how they do it but they make the best lemonade ever. It's a bit more expensive so when my lovely mother buys it....it is such a yummy treat!

So as I was getting the milk out of the fridge for my cereal I noticed this pink stuff at the back of the fridge....I looked closer and realized it was "Simply Lemonade"....RASPBERRY flavour!!!!

This seriously made my whole morning.

Here's to finding the "sweetness" in this day! (See blog below if you don't get it)

~Darc :)

Stay Tuned...

2010-09-13T23:00:00.000-04:00

I started reading a new book. It's called Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. I love this book already. I am somehow finding myself connecting with it on so many levels. The book is about the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a sliver of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich when it contains a splinter of sadness.

I think these may be words I need to hear. A truth that my heart needs to learn.

Lately I have been finding myself living under the cloud of "the bitter state". My life is in what I would call a waiting stage right now. If you would rate life in the categories of lived it, living it, or waiting for it, most of the things I desire for my life would come under the waiting for it stage. If I'm being totally honest, which I will be, the waiting stage or the land in between (not where you were but not there yet either) can be a difficult one. It becomes easy to question God's faithfulness and His plan while I feel like I'm wandering around aimlessly and waiting for something I'm not sure is going to happen. I think I'm learning that the land in between can feel like the loneliest place in the world because it feels like everyone has arrived or isn't in the same place as you.

So my new question that I'm asking myself is how do I find the something beautiful in the something broken? How do I find the sweet amongst the bitter?

I don't have this answer yet.

Shauna says that "bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. It's courageous, gutsy, audacious, earthy."

It doesn't really feel like my circumstances are very beautiful right now. The phrase above says bittersweet is the PRACTICE of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet. Perhaps this is key....I need to practice believing this until I do?

So...

Stay Tuned....

I'm going to Practice! :)

Yours Truly,
~The Kindred Spirit

Most Anticipated Albums for Fall...

2010-09-03T23:15:00.001-04:00

Well I don't know about you but I'm starting to feel ready for fall. The summer has been fantastic but I'm ready for programs to start, leaves to change colours, jean wearing weather and some new music. YES....this fall is going to bring the release of some new albums from some of my favourite artists. So in case you're a little out of the loop or you're looking for some new music this fall, here is my list of my most anticipated albums coming this fall....

#1 ~ Flags by Brooke Fraser (Oct. 12)......Brooke is a New Zealand native and definitely one of my favourite artists. Chances are you may have heard her singing on one of the Hillsong United albums. Brooke will also be coming to Toronto in November so if you're in the area this will be a show you won't want to miss.

#2 ~ Light Up The Sky by The Afters (Sept. 14)....The Afters have already released their first single on this album and I've had it on repeat in my car.....it's one you want to turn up and shout out. I loved The Afters last album "Never Going Back To Ok" and I'm expecting even better things from this album....hopefully I won't be disappointed!

#3 ~ Speak Now by Taylor Swift (Oct. 25).....Whether you're a county music fan or not....you must at least give this album a listen to because quite frankly Taylor is just plain awesome. Her songs are catchy and fun and I love her because she's just so full of life. So please....hear me speak.....LISTEN TO THE ALBUM!!!!

#4 ~ Dark is the way, Light is the Place by Anberlin (Sept. 7)....In the past few years Anberlin has become one of my favourite alternative rock bands....I enjoyed their last album entitled "New Surrender" but I'd still have to say their album "Cities" would have to be my favourite. I've heard rumours that this album is supposed to be a darker one so the verdict's out for me. I guess I'll have to wait and find out if it ranks anywhere close to Cities.

#5 ~ Kaleidoscope Heart by Sara Bareilles (Sept. 7).....Sarah Bareilles has one of the strongest, most powerful voices in the music industry today....you want to listen to her music when you're in a "chill" mood with a cup of coffee in hand, out for a late night cruise or blogging on your computer ;). I'm definitely looking forward to hearing the highlights from this album.

#6 ~ Nothing Like This by Rascal Flatts (Nov. 16).....Rascal Flatts never lets me down with every album they come out with. I love these guys for making music that moves me, makes me want to dance and makes me wish I had a country accent. I'm pretty sure there will be nothing like their new album!

Anticipate Anticipate Anticipate!!!!

Happy Fall,
Darc :)

Check It...

2010-08-28T23:54:00.000-04:00

Awesome post by Donald Miller today. Check it out here.

Cheers,
Darc :)

The Only Tragedy in Life is to Feel Nothing...

2010-08-26T23:30:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I felt like I had my heart ripped out, again. It's happened for the past two years at this time and I should be used to it by now but it seems that it only gets worse every year. After a wonderful summer home my best friend flew back this morning to her second home just outside of Port Au Prince, Haiti. I cried as she pulled out of my driveway. I think I'm getting more emotional as I get older. I decided last night that I needed to go for a drive, my Mom wanted to come with, a decision I'm sure she regretted when halfway through the drive while she was talking I just started sobbing out of nowhere. She just listened and let me cry. I tell you, I think Moms are the best medicine for any ache. Crying is one of the best releases I know, it doesn't make it better but it just feels better to cry, maybe it's a woman thing?

Goodbye's are the worst. Right after the person leaves you have this rush of memories of all the time spent together, all the coffee, all the laughs, all the drives and vents and tears you've shared. You think about how you've watched each other grow and change into the person they are today and how you wouldn't be the person you are today if you hadn't known them. And you have to let them go, until they come back, whenever that may be.

I'm beginning to think it's much harder to be the one standing in the driveway than the one driving away.

But I can't forget that it's been a wonderful summer. I am blessed. Here's a few of my favs...

Someone once said that the only tragedy in life is to feel nothing at all. I agree. Because whether I'm flying high or valley deep, even though I wouldn't always choose what I feel I have to believe that it's somehow playing a role in shaping who I am and who I'm becoming.

I hope you are blessed with all the feelings of life whether they are high or low or somewhere in between. And I hope that you are blessed to experience friendship like I have, I think everyone deserves to have friends who love like mine do.

And here's to hoping Fall will hold even more joy than the summer has!

Yours Truly,

The Kindred Spirit

A Beautiful Evening for a Baptism...

2010-07-29T20:56:00.000-04:00

This past Tuesday I had a chance to attend the baptism of two very special people. Jen and her daughter Sydney were baptized out at the lake at a beautiful cottage. You may remember me mentioning Jen before, she is the photographer (check her blog out under my links) and she has been teaching me a lot about photography. She asked if I would take some pictures at the baptism and of course I said yes. I mean when a wonderful photographer like Jen asks an amateur to take some shots at such a special ceremony there was no way I was saying no! Here is a peek at some of the moments I had the chance to capture....

The evening was a wonderful celebration of what God has done and is continuing to do in the lives of Jen & Sydney. The night was shared with good friends overlooking a beautiful scene and if I may add the cake was delicious. I so look forward to seeing more of the plans that God is unfolding in the lives of this family.

Yours Truly,

Darcie

Don't Give Up!

2010-07-18T01:32:00.000-04:00

I have been inspired.

My inspiration has come from 3 words.

Yes, 3 simple words.

Are you ready for them? Here they are...

DON'T GIVE UP.

I'm sure you've heard these 3 short words a billion times before. I'm sure they've passed through your ears, rolled off your tongue and played through your mind again and again but maybe you've never taken the time to think about the power that can be unleashed in this phrase.

If I think back to the times and circumstances in which I've heard these words I think back to moments when all I wanted to do was give up...

I was working on a high school math problem at my kitchen table....my Mom and I both in tears because we couldn't solve what looked like a simple math problem.
I was attempting to run the block and felt like I might pass out.
I was away from home for a year working on a ministry team and all I wanted to drive home where everything was safe and familiar.
I realized I threw my retainer out by accident and now that particular trash bag with my retainer in it was in the dumpster and I wasn't sure I had what it took to dig through that trash.
I watched (and was thrilled) for another friend who got engaged.
I had what seemed like the worst shift of my life at work.
I dropped the muffin pan in the oven, the pan had the muffins in them.

All of us face situations, whether humorous in retrospect or not, where all we feel like doing is giving up and throwing in the towel. Sometimes though there is someone or something inside us that pushes us to keep going. Something that tells us that we have to keep fighting, have to keep pushing on because whether it's true or not we have to believe that what's waiting for us will be worth it. We have to believe that the joy that comes after the struggle will be even sweeter because we had to struggle.

I am faced daily with the choice to give up or not to give up. I get to decide the stuff that I'm going to be made out of. And to be completely honest, often I don't make the right choice. I get discouraged and far too easily fall prey to the mindset that I'm not good enough, nothing good will ever happen to me, there must be something wrong with me because I'm not where I think I should be at this point or I'm not where that person is, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not skinny enough, I'm not strong or disciplined enough or I'll never get to where I want to be. These are the kind of thoughts that it's really easy (and I know this personally) to get stuck in. These thoughts seem to be my cushion and by cushion I mean the place I fall back on. I think we all have a cushion, it's like our default setting and we have to wrestle to keep going despite these thoughts that threaten to steal our joy.

I'm one of those lucky people that has an amazing friendship with my Mom. She's the person I talk to about everything, she gets the bad, the ugly and the uglier and sadly she's doesn't get the good as much as she should. Amidst my ugly rants she will often say to me in her gentle and loving way "Darc, don't give up". There's something in the way that she says it to me that always makes me feel hopeful. It's like she knows something I don't. It's kind of like God....lol. I often tell God what I really think about things and sometimes there's a part of me that really wonders if He's got it figured out, if He really does have a plan for my life? But there's the little awesome verse that answers that question...Jeremiah 29:11...For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

BAM...

DON'T GIVE UP.

Because whatever it is, whether it's a bully at school, uncertainty about your job, difficulty with school, tough stuff happening in your marriage, a lack of marriage, an illness, peer pressure, loneliness, grief, whatever your stuff is Don't Give Up because God has plans to give you a hope and a future. So keep pressing on, you are not alone and maybe one day you'll look back and understand.

These words should be my anthem because this is where I'm at and to believe this is my battle.

Tonight I'm going to choose not to give up, and tomorrow morning, well, I guess we'll see what happens?

Sweet Dreams for you movers and shakers, may you be known for and marked as a person who never gives up and always hopes!

~Darc

Going To The Chapel...

2010-07-05T18:49:00.000-04:00

This past Saturday I went to a wedding. Two of my friends got hitched.....and I think everyone at that wedding would echo my sentiments in saying "it's about time"! Derek and Sarah Sherk (that has a nice ring to it) were pretty much created to be together. Anyone whose grown up with them can say that when they weren't dating we all knew that they should be dating and I don't think any of us could ever really see one of them without the other. Derek knew this from the start, Sarah started out knowing it but forgot it for a while, but Derek waited patiently trusting that God would work it out and she would remember it again. Last summer all seemed right with the world when they declared publicly that they were officially dating and a few months later all of our hearts skipped a beat when Derek proposed to Sarah over the Christmas Holidays! Finally July 3rd came and we all cheered as they tied the knot. It was a beautiful day full of wonderful friends and whole lot of fun! Here's a little taste of the day....

Not only did Sarah and Derek get married but me and my girls were reunited at last!!!

THIS IS THE BEST!!!!

Don't you just love to celebrate LOVE!!!! I know I do!

I wonder who will be next?!?

~The Kindred Spirit

CHANGE or EXPIRE?!?!?

2010-06-28T01:36:00.000-04:00

Change.

That word is terrifying and exciting all at the same time.

As I grow and live I am finding that there is a part of me that craves change and yet there's a part of me that just wants things to stay the same. The stay the same part is the little girl inside of me that doesn't want to grow up and that just wants to be safe in my parents arms forever. This is that part of me that doesn't want to face the big world full of responsibility and unanswered questions and things that make me hurt and the fact that things don't always turn out the way you thought they would. I've realized over the last few weeks that I'm grieving my childhood. It sounds a bit funny when I write it out here but it took me a while to be able to figure it out. It took me a while to be able to actually identify that at the root of some of the things going on in my life is that I don't want to let go of what was so good and so safe and so full of love and laughter and all the good things.

But things change.

My younger brother Greg is leaving in September to spend a year working at L'arche in Ottawa. After 18 years of pastoring at Wainfleet BIC my Dad will be transitioning into a leadership & recruiting role with the BIC Canadian Conference, which means big changes for both my Dad and Mom. My youngest brother Josh has one year left of high school, ONE more year! When did this happen? When did my cute little bubby become this tall, handsome young man who owns a car and has a job and is getting ready for college in a year? There's a part of me that feels like I'm being left behind and perhaps it's because I'm clinging so tightly to the little girl inside of me, the girl who just wants it to stay the same. I haven't figured out what to do with this yet. Maybe one day I'll wake up and the fear will subside?

Then there's the other part of me; the part of me that wants new experiences with new people to learn from and new challenges to face. It's the part of me that wants to expand my thinking and embrace responsibility and independence as if it was a familiar friend. The part of me that doesn't want to be stagnant or caught in a rut but continually moving. I started reading one of Donald Miller's books called 'Through Painted Deserts' and he writes about this very thing....

"I remember that sweet sensation of leaving, years ago, some ten now, leaving Texas for who knows where. I could not have known about this beautiful place, the Oregon I have come to love, this city of great people, the smell of coffee and these evergreens reaching up into a mist of sky, these sunsets spilling over the west hills to slide a red glow down the streets of my town.

And I could not have know then that if I had been born here, I would have left here, gone someplace south to deal with horses, to get on some open land where you can see tomorrow's storm brewing over a high desert. I could not have know then that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons reminding me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way. All my life I have been changing. I changed from a baby to a child, from soft toys to play daggers. I changed into a teenager to drive a car, into a worker to spend some money. I will change into a husband to love a woman, into a father to love a child, change houses so we are near water, and again so we are near mountains, and again so we are near friends, keep changing with my wife, getting our love so it dies and gets born again and again, like a garden, fed by four seasons, a cycle of change. Everybody has to change, or they expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons.

I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently. Only the good stories have the characters different at the end than they were at the beginning."

I think this sums the other part of me up completely. These are the things I know to be true. Change can be a wonderful thing, wonderful and hard at the same time. Wonderful because things are new and different and your soul is ready for it and hard because it's new and different and your soul remembers how it used to be.

You live in the tension. You choose to keep moving and trusting. I want to choose these things because I don't want to expire. I don't want to read the same page my whole life.

So maybe it's going to take me a bit to let go but the change is in the journey, right?

All I know is that my childhood was wonderful and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world but I want to be able to live fully present in the here and now. I don't want to miss the fantastic things happening in this new phase because I'm stuck in the old.

I have to keep changing, because this is God's way.

Oh I Went Down To Georgia...

2010-06-21T01:36:00.000-04:00

So a few months ago I planned to take a little visit down south to visit one of my closest friends. Her name is BJ (Brittany Joy) and she lives in the beautiful state of Georgia. Last Saturday I flew into Atlanta and spent the next four days catching up, seeing the city and having some very fine dining experiences. My body wasn't used to the extreme heat and humidity so I drank water like crazy and seemed to "glow" every where I went! A few highlights of my trips were getting to see the Laser Show at Stone Mountain, going to the Georgia Aquarium, seeing the Coke Museum and attending 12Stone (BJ's church) which if I may add has a Starbucks in it.....I know! I also enjoyed the fine dining at the Cheesecake Factory, ChicfilA and The Cracker Barrell.....yummy! My flight home was delayed due to bad weather in Atlanta so I had plenty of time to sit in the airport and people watch....there were tons of delays and cancellations! When we were finally in the air I got the change to witness one of the most amazing things I've ever seen....it was like a lightening show below the plane the entire way home, the sky just lit up. My window seat on the Delta plane gave me a birds eye view of the mystery and beauty of a part of God's creation, it was magnificent. I've included just a few highlight pics of my trip below....hope you enjoy!

This last picture is my view of Atlanta just as the plane was leaving the city via sky! Flying at night does have it's benefits!

Getting to see new places and visit with friends is such a blessing. I'm already looking forward to my next trip.....wherever that may be!

Sweet Dreams Y'all,
~The Kindred Spirit

Say Cheese...

2010-06-03T15:47:00.001-04:00

I've always loved taking pictures, looking at pictures, editing pictures and of course hanging pictures all over the walls of my room. So recently I was thinking and decided that I needed a new hobby. I want to learn something new. I've always loved photography so I thought why not take a class, why not get a really good camera and take a class and learn something new? So I bought a camera. Actually I bought a very expensive camera, one which put a good dent in my savings (sigh). It's a Nikon D5000 and if you're having trouble picturing what that might look like.....let me show you....

It's beautiful isn't it? I think so. Some of my girls from my jr. high small group were trying to name it. My hands were shaking when I opened it. I've never bought something like this before. I've held one but it's never been mine. I was afraid I might drop it or push a wrong button and cause it to deconstruct, if that's even possible. So for the past few weeks I've been practicing and trying to figure out how to work this piece of technical art. Thankfully there is this little button that has a question mark on the side of the camera and if I push it a definition of the setting I'm on pops up. I don't know what I would do without this button.

My Mom has a friend who is a photographer. She's fabulous and she is going to mentor me as I embark on learning this new craft. You can check out her blog here http://www.photographywithjen.blogspot.com/.

I'll keep you posted on how it goes. Let me know if you want a personal photo shoot....I need all the practice I can get :)

I think I might start to get labeled 'the girl with the camera' so if you see me....say hi!

Yours Truly,

Darcie

There's No Theme Like A 'Hard Wood' Theme...

2010-05-17T00:27:00.000-04:00

Today was a beautiful day. I took one of the ladies from the group home out for a walk and while we went along the path and looked at the birds and the stream and the flowers I was taken back for a moment to last summer.

I spent last summer living and working at Christian Horizons conference centre in Paisley. I worked as their program coordinator. The conference centre is quite large and behind the main building you will find what we call "the back 40", which is about 40 acres of trees and trail and a whole ton of bugs. We typically use the back 40 for staff games, hikes and wagon rides. Now one day I was informed that since the leadership staff wanted to look into other ways that they could use the back 40 and needed some advice on how to do that, there would be a naturalist coming in to give us some ideas. I was told that my presence and one of my recreation team members presence would be needed on this special occasion, along with our supervisor. The naturalist arrived and we headed out to the back 40 for what I didn't know would be 2 hours of enlightenment. The naturalist was an older man, a retired teacher and of course a lover of all things nature. The man decided to treat my supervisor and my team member and I like students in a class, an elementary class at that. He would walk and then stop and ask us to observe our surroundings. He would ask us things about what our senses were sensing....lol. We pretty much could only walk a few feet before he would stop us. He showed us flowers and gave us the history on where their name came from. He talked about trees and animals and trees and rocks and trees and dirt and oh did I mention tress. Some of this was interesting and I must say that it all seemed more interesting before we reached the 1 hour point. The naturalist would occasionally ask us questions about our program. He asked about our theme. Last summer our theme was the Horizon Jungle and I tried my best to explain to him what that meant. I believe his response made the whole 2 hours worth it, for anytime I think about it I always smile. After I told the man about the theme he seemed somehow frustrated like the theme was no good. He kind of sighed and then went on a spiel about nature again and his final suggestion was with all of this nature why don't you do a hard wood theme? I'm sorry.....a hard wood theme? I tried to kindly respond by telling him that I didn't think that would fly. Let's think about this.......people spend all year waiting for their week at camp....thinking about all the fun they've had in the past and how much fun they will have this year and of course they arrive and find out this year's theme is hard wood. BORING!!!!! I mean I'm not saying that in the right EDUCATIONAL setting that a hard wood theme wouldn't be um, interesting but seriously at camp. Clearly this man was a genius when it came to nature and very passionate about it but perhaps he may had spent a little too much time with the trees. He was I think he may have offered to bring us some books and perhaps a display as well, which we didn't end up using. We thanked the man for his time and ideas and he was on his way.

I still remember bits and pieces from our hike but nothing can be clearer than the hard wood theme.

It's too bad it's too late to suggest the hard wood theme to this year's rec staff for their program. Could have been the best year yet!

Sweet Dreams,
~The Kindred Spirit

Bloodline...

2010-05-13T01:03:00.004-04:00

I heard this song a few months ago. I've listened to it again and again. I find the lyrics challenging. It's one of those songs you want other people to listen to but you want to ask them what they think it means.
It's called Bloodline by Matt Morris....

She was a girl living in the city, clinging to old religion
Praying for electricity to keep it warm for the little ones
Nobody made her wise to the things a girl might find
In a belly of a hungry man who don't care nothing about his bloodline
She got lost in the bloodline
Heavy cost of a bloodline
She goes on she cries at night and keeps alive his bloodline
So much riding on a bloodline
Why is he hiding from the bloodline?
It aint right she cries at night and keeps alive his bloodline

She heard heaven is invite only, reserved for Christian soldiers
Not un-wed girls living in the city asking for change from strangers
But father said Jesus loves her even though she never married
God loves her more than the Christians do, she's part of His holy bloodline
She got saved in the bloodline
The price He paid for the bloodline
Changed her life she cries at night and keeps alive his bloodline
She believes in his bloodline
Lives and breathes by the bloodline
With all her might she cries at night and keeps alive his bloodline

I know I should have never left her to shoulder all the burden
She probably won't forgive me, God might not either
I made a cross and lay it on her back
But I never broke her spirit and she owes that to her bloodline
She stayed strong for the bloodline, I did wrong by the bloodline
But she went on she cried at night and kept alive the bloodline
Sacrifice for the bloodline, paid the price for the bloodline
For all her life she cried at night and kept alive the bloodline

Oh she cried at night and kept alive her bloodline

Deep lyrics eh?

I invite your thoughts,
Darc

A Mother's Day in Paris...

2010-05-11T18:50:00.001-04:00

So this past Sunday was Mother's Day. Now at Wainfleet BIC we think Mother's Day is a big deal. Mom's are a gift from God and they need to be recognized, celebrated and made to feel special! This year our Mother's Day theme was 'A Mother's Day in Paris'. We had an amazing team that worked to put this together and it turned out to be a fantastic morning. We had french music, french food, a Paris toilet paper fashion show where the Mom's got to strut their stuff and of course a couple of mimes.....does it get any better than that?!? The Mom's look fabulous and it was so awesome getting to see the kids having a blast with their Moms in Paris! I know I'm pretty lucky to have the BEST Mom ever and I don't think I tell her that enough. She has empowered me again and again and is a constant reminder of God's love for me. It would be my great ambition to be half the woman that she is. So thanks to all the Mom's who give and give and give some more. May you feel loved and blessed and realize that you enable your kids to SHINE! Happy Mom's Day to you.

Here's a few pics from the morning...

Yours Truly,
~The Kindred Spirit

When It Comes To MRI's.....why not make it a double?!?

2010-05-06T22:57:00.001-04:00

Pace back and forth. Heart beating. Stomach churning. Watch the clock, no, don't even look at it.
I forgot the feeling from last time. I thought since it's my second time I'd be pro. I thought that until this moment. This moment where I realize the panic has set in and I'm so nervous.
Please don't let my IBS kick in tonight.

Over a year and a half ago I began experiencing very weird nerve sensations in the right side of my face. It began in my temple and then spread down my face. It was swollen for only about 2 days but the sensation has lasted almost 2 years now. It's as if I often feel like I'm two face...lol! I did light therapy on that side of my face for a few months thinking maybe I had nerve damage from a car accident I was in 5 years ago, nothing changed. I had tests done on my eye thinking maybe I had pulled something and it was affecting my face, everything was normal. I took loads of advil thinking it would help. I began going to the massage therapist, it felt nice but still my face problems lingered. I prayed my brains out asking God to take it away, but it persisted. Finally my doctor sent me to the neurologist. This large and friendly British man sent me for blood work and the dreaded MRI. One of two MRI's....my second I will be having this evening. I remember sitting in the doctor's office waiting for him to give me the results of my MRI. He said they had learned two things, I held my breath. "We've learned that number one, you have a brain, and number two, it's normal." Breathe out. Great news but again no answers for what the heck was going on with my face. He put me on a drug called Lyrica, often given for nerve damage. This drug was the answer to my prayers. The drug didn't take away the symptoms but it lessoned them so I could focus on other things other than my face. However, I also learned that when I was stressed or slept wrong or moved wrong then the symptoms would flare despite the drug. These days are difficult.

The neurologist told me to come back in 9 months and we would revaluate. I waited 11 but I don't think he noticed. After almost 2 years and still feeling a bit discouraged that these sensations are still very present I am still looking for answers as to what this could be. I feel like I may have even stumped the neurologist. At my last appointment him and the German med student decided they would send me for more blood work, another MRI and a blink test (what this does I have no clue) in hopes of solving the mystery of my face. The blink test is yet to come, the second MRI is tonight.

My last MRI didn't start out too well. I read the letter telling me the date and time of my appointment at the Henderson Hospital in Hamilton. I was sure the letter said 8:30 AM. We got there bright and early only to learn that the letter really said 8:30 PM. Ooops. Second thing was the Ativan that I was prescribed to calm me a bit (due to my slight difficulty with small spaces) didn't decide to take effect until after my MRI was over. So instead of me, the MRI machine and my little miracle pill, it was just me and the MRI machine. Oh......me, the MRI machine and the heart attack I was convinced I was having. So in case you don't know the ins and out of an MRI I will enlighten you (at least from my experience). Once you're sporting the lovely green scrubs then you head on in and proceed to get up on this table. They put these huge headphones on you that seem to suction to your ears. At the time I wondered why I needed such monstrous headphones, later on I found out that the MRI machine is extremely loud with the monstrous headphones, heaven forbid without. Once lying down on the table with the headphones on, they put this cage thing over your head and then you're rolled into a small hole where they begin taking images of your brain or whatever part of your body they are doing the MRI on. Once in the small hole you are to lie very still and try not to move at all. Luckily I read the booklet on everything MRI before I went in and was able to make myself a musical MRI mix. I could barely hear it with all the racket but occasionally in between hammering sounds I could hear the sweet reminders of God's love for me and His presence with me in that tiny hole sung to some of my favourite tunes. The people running the MRI test told me afterwards they liked my mix.

I thought I was doing pretty good in the hole and was wondering if the drugs had taken effect and if I was having an out of body experience when my chest started to get increasingly hot. I was panicking and trying not to move a muscle at the same time. The lady spoke to me through the machine and asked if I was alright. I told her it was hot. She turned the fans on. I was still hot.

Side note: you know how when you start to panic your brain comes up with a whole bunch of reasons as to what could be happening. Usually these reasons are completely out of this world and yet when you're in panic mode they actually seem like they could be possible. Ever experienced this?

So panic mode hit in the hole. I began coming up with possible reasons as to why I was so hot. Why my chest felt like it was on fire. I thought that maybe I was having a heart attack. My body was clearly telling me it wanted out of that hole. The lady said they were almost done. I convinced myself to hold on.

Finally it was done. They rolled me out, removed the cage over my head and took of the monstrous head phones. Of course my drugs had now taken effect and I was a bit....well....I guess you might say loose or funny. Seriously, could that not have started before the MRI.

So a few months ago when I found out I would be going for another MRI I wasn't panicked. I thought no problemo....been there done that....oh and Dr., can I take one of those miracle pills a bit sooner this time? Well MRI day #2 is here and I'm super panicked. I know it has to be done. I want to figure this face thing out but I'm scared. I have my MRI mix #2 all ready to go, my Ativan in hand and my wonderful parents are even taking me to Starbucks afterwards. It's like the McDonald's trip after you get your needle. I'm still scared because I can't take someone in that hole with me. Yet I know that Jesus will be there and I trust that I don't have to face these things on my own.

So in about 15 minutes I'm going to pop my first dose of Ativan, in about an hour and a half I'll probably be in the hole and hopefully in about 3 hours I'll have my Starbucks in hand.

I sure hope I don't have a heart attack!

Yours Truly....AKA: The MRI PRO,
Darc

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane......NOT!

2010-05-04T22:29:00.000-04:00

This will be my first summer in a while that I'm not coming home from something or leaving to go somewhere. I'm used to being home for a while and then leaving to go somewhere for a while. I've been home for 9 months now and this typically would be the time where I pack my things and head off to another summer at camp or some type of adventure. As much as I'm looking forward to being reminded of what it feels like to have a summer at home I'm also feeling a little antsy. I'm sad because for the first time I feel like I've landed somewhere and I'm not sure I want to be here. Don't get me wrong, I love it here and I love the people and my life is woven into this place in so many ways but I feel like something inside me is changing. Something in my soul feels discontent. I don't know what it means or what it's for and perhaps it will pass but I'm starting to wonder if what I'm experiencing is here for a purpose. It seems that those scary life questions that people ask themselves when they feel some sort of crisis are knocking at my door. The worst part of it is that I don't have the answers for those questions. I don't know what comes next. I don't know if the 'next' is here or there, wherever there may be?

It's weird when the place that you've known your whole life somehow doesn't feel like it used to. It's hard when the relationships that you've known and experienced begin to change. Your world keeps evolving and you feel like your running as fast at you can so you don't get left behind.

I hate this feeling of discontentedness. It's uncomfortable. It's like my life is over before beginning.

But what to do?

I suppose I'll just have to wait.

I guess my only option is to trust.

I really hope this is normal.

Hmmm.....then again, what is normal anyways?

Sleep well my blogging friends,
~The Kindred Spirit

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe...

2010-05-03T18:30:00.000-04:00

I moved into my new house at the end of last summer. I have a very large and beautiful room which is painted an earthy green right now. The green is nice but it's not me. My room in my old house was a very vibrant yellow....which I attribute to my high school season. I loved the yellow but I'm trying to move on to a more mature look! I also have a few walls in my room that are wood.....since it is a century home. A while ago I went to the Benjamin Moore paint store and left with a ton of paint chips and thus a ton of choices. I showed people my top choices and took their opinions but I never really did come to a conclusion. I left it at that for a while. Today I drove my Mom to her hair appointment in town so I had to kill some time while I waited. I decided to cruise the shops along the canal. I found one shop that had some amazing decor items which are in the colour scheme I am imaging for my room. All of a sudden I found myself back in the Benjamin Moore paint store ready to make a choice then and there and with no paint chips in hand. I decided I was going to make a choice on my own without any help, although the man in the store did help me a bit since I know nothing about paint. The final colour choice is called cool aqua! It's not yellow but it's a vivacious bluish green that I think will look fabulous on my walls. I'll make sure to post some pics of the final outcome.

I consider this an important step in my career as an adult.

~Darc

LOST: DEBIT CARD!

2010-05-03T18:13:00.000-04:00

I live in a small country town called Wainfleet. The kind of town where if you don't know everyone personally you at least know of everyone. The local arena is the hub, the beervondale (as we call it) is the town's supplier for the locals beverage of choice, the ladies at my bank all know my name and smile when I walk in, and of course we have a ribbon cutting ceremony to celebrate our first traffic light. As much as I can complain about the rural life, it does have its benefits.

Last week after work I stopped at the Pioneer Gas Station in Fonthill to fill up my gas tank. I filled it up, went into pay and then got back in my car and drove off not thinking any more about it.

The next day my Dad asked me if I was missing my credit card? I looked at him puzzled. He asked me if I heard the message on the answering machine. I said no, ran upstairs to check my wallet and then proceeded to head to the small machine in the living room to have a listen to the message.

The message was from a woman in our community who I don't know personally but who I know of. She said her husband had found a credit card with my name on it and recognized the name. The card was now safe in their possession at their house. After looking in my wallet I was relieved to see my credit card still in it's place however my debit card not. I immediately back tracked in my mind to where I could have used my debit card and somehow lost it. The gas station was the only option. It must have slid out of my wallet on my short walk back from the store to my car. I went to pick it up and thanked the woman a million times for calling me and for keeping it safe.

What are the chances that someone would see the card, pick it up, recognize my name, find my number and give me a call?

Through this happening I am reminded of two things.

First: There are some real good people in this here town of mine and it can be a wonderful thing to be a part of a community where everyone knows everyone or at least knows of everyone.

Second: I have a Heavenly Father who cares about something as little as a lost debit card.

Cheers to the small town life,
~The Kindred Spirit

Target: Red Coat with Black Spots...

2010-04-16T14:12:00.001-04:00

When I was a child I would sit and play in the grass with my friends and we would often see ladybugs and let them crawl on our arms or legs. We thought lady bugs were beautiful....how lovely a creature with a red coat and black spots. As with many things when you grow up you are awakened to the harsh reality that life seen through a child's eyes is often far from reality.

It seems to be lady bug season in my house and in particular, my room. I may even go as far as to say that there is a lady bug infestation in my room. They live in my windows. I don't know where they come from but they move from the windows to my lamps, to my ceiling and my floor. I've heard that it's bad luck to kill a lady bug and if this is true then I'm pretty much doomed to bad luck for the rest of my life. I've killed tons. I kill them before bed and the next morning there is a whole new crop of them. Worst thing: when you kill a lady bug or when it senses fear it releases the most horrible scent, it's disgusting.

Reality is that lady bugs are no longer those beautiful innocent bugs with a lovely red coat and black spots. In my adult world they are now unwelcome house guests that must be destroyed.

It's a good day if I can kill 4 with one kleenex.

Welcome to the adult world.

Skies Explode...

2010-04-09T20:00:00.001-04:00

I'm like the farthest from morning person that you can get. I like staying up late, I like sleeping in and mornings are difficult for me. I can't even believe I'm uttering these words but I think I might be changing. Since I started working at Bethesda 7 months ago I've gotten plenty of opportunities to greet the day. When I work a dayshift I usually get up at 5:15am and leave the house by 6:15am. As I'm driving to work the moon is setting on one side of me while on the other side the sky is exploding with colours as the sun breaks through the darkness. It's quite a contrast really. I've discovered that there is something about getting up early and getting things in motion first thing. At the group home I love getting the ladies up and showered and through the breakfast routine while jamming to tunes in the kitchen while the sun is shining through the kitchen windows. I like it, I might even like it enough to try it when I don't have to work! All I can think about when I get to drive to work early and watch the sun rise is how it is like an explosion of beauty that I get a chance to witness, I get to be a part of the show that God puts on each day. One of my adventure goals this summer is to get some of my friends together and get up super early and road trip to somewhere beautiful and watch the sun rise while eating breakfast together. I'll make sure to post some pics when it happens.

I hope that even if you're a night hawk like me that you'll give the morning a try....the alarm bites but the beauty is to come and you'll get to see the skies explode!

~The Kindred Spirit

Because He's MY Friend...

2010-04-05T22:40:00.000-04:00

I love Easter. Spring is in the air and I just have this feeling of new life. It's a time to celebrate that Jesus didn't stay dead.....He has risen!

Yesterday was a busy day. I worked the 3-11 shift on Saturday and then got up at the crack of dawn on Sunday morning to meet with my church family to watch the sun come up and celebrate the risen Son! Then I ran home for a quick wardrobe change and then back to the church to get ready for 2:52 Basics. After 2:52 I watched the third Easter performance of "The Door", which was excellent by the way! I headed home for lunch and then off to work another afternoon shift. The day was jam packed full but it was great. Somewhere in all this business, I had a moment. I was in the 2:52 Basics room downstairs at church and the team was getting ready for the morning. I had briefly talked to our storyteller for that morning and she mentioned that she wasn't going to use the story outlined this week since it just wasn't fitting with the morning....I encouraged her to do this. I didn't really know what she was going to do but she's the kind of woman you just trust with things like this. She told the kids that they were going to tell the story today.....she began to lead them through a series of questions where they got to share what they knew about Jesus and how they knew that. Lots of children raised their hands and shared things but there was one little girl in the room who stole all of our hearts with her answer. She raised her hand and said simply "He's a friend". The storyteller looked at the child over her glasses that sat on her nose and asked her how she knew this. The little girl replied by saying "because He's MY friend". Silence. We all held our breath for a moment as that simple statement closed the story time. I choked back tears to compose myself enough to finish the large group time but that thought stayed with me.

How one little girl can really sum Easter up in one simple statement baffles me but I guess that's the thing about God's love and grace.....it's just baffling.

I hope you can remember that simple statement today too.

Happy Easter,
Darcie

Thank You Brian Williams...

2010-03-01T20:21:00.007-05:00

Brian William, the anchor and managing editor of the NBC nightly news wrote this article, which I love and wanted to share with you all, hope you enjoy.....

LEAVING BEHIND A THANK-YOU NOTE...
After tonight's broadcast and after looting our hotel mini-bars, we're going to try to brave theblizzard and fly east to home and hearth, and to do laundry well into next week. Before we leave this thoroughly polite country, the polite thing to do is leave behind a thank-you note.

Thank you, Canada:

For being such good hosts.

For your unfailing courtesy.

For your (mostly) beautiful weather.

For scheduling no more than 60 percent of your float plane departures at the exact moment when I was trying to say something on television.

For not seeming to mind the occasional (or constant) good-natured mimicry of your accents.

For your unique TV commercials -- for companies like Tim Hortons -- which made us laugh and cry.

For securing this massive event without choking security, and without publicly displaying a single automatic weapon.

For having the best garment design and logo-wear of the games -- you've made wearing your name a cool thing to do.

For the sportsmanship we saw most of your athletes display.

For not honking your horns. I didn't hear one car horn in 15 days -- which also means none of my fellow New Yorkers rented cars while visiting.

For making us aware of how many of you have been watching NBC all these years.

For having the good taste to have an anchorman named Brian Williams on your CTV network, who turns out to be such a nice guy.

For the body scans at the airport which make pat-downs and cavity searches unnecessary.

For designing those really cool LED Olympic rings in the harbor, which turned to gold when your athletes won one.

For always saying nice things about the United States...when you know we're listening.

For sharing Joannie Rochette with us.

For reminding some of us we used to be a more civil society.
Mostly, for welcoming the world with such ease and making lasting friends with all of us.

I BELIEVE CANADA...

2010-03-01T20:03:00.003-05:00

Two weeks ago I fell down my basement stairs and boy did I fall hard. I was in a bit of shock when I finally stopped falling and was lying at the bottom of the stairs. To top it all off I fell again a few days later while walking in a parking lot. A few days after that I really over did it and ended up being on my couch for the next week and a bit while I willed my body to heal. I'm still in a fair amount of discomfort, which I'm hoping will continue to heal quickly.

Now on any other occasion being on the couch for a week would not be a good thing but it just happened that the Vancouver 2010 Olympics were on. I've watched the Olympics through the years and always enjoyed them but I've never been so impacted by the games as I was over this past 17 days. I became the Olympic expert since I witnessed most of the moments of the games. What I did not anticipate though was to have such a deep heartfelt experience. I saw my country come together in a new way that I've never seen, making me feel more proud to be Canadian than ever before. We wore our red and white proudly and declared loudly with glowing hearts our national anthem for all to hear. We saw a humble guy named Alexandre Bilodeau win Gold for the first time on home soil for not only his country but for his inspiration, his brother who has Cerebral Palsy. We were moved as we saw first hand a courageous young woman who had just lost her mother skate the program of her life. Joannie Rochette stole all of Canada's hearts and earned a bronze medal that may as well have been gold in all of our eyes. When Jon Montgomery won gold we felt more connected to the athletes because we realized they're just normal people just like us who work hard and dare to dream big. We celebrated as we watched Tessa and Scott make history by being the youngest and first ice dance pair in North America to win gold in ice dancing! We cheered our lungs out as both our Canadian women and men proved once again to the world that hockey is CANADA'S game!!!! We broke the Gold medal record which showed that even though we didn't have the most medals we still owned the podium.

I cried more than once as I watched these incredible moments. During the closing games VANOC CEO John Furlong talked about the Canada that was compared to the Canada that now is..."And to perhaps compare for a moment the Canada that was with the Canada that now is. I believe we Canadians tonight are stronger, more united, more in love with our country and more connected with each other than ever before. These Olympic Games have lifted us up. If the Canada that came together on Opening night was a little mysterious to some it no longer is. Now you know us, eh"! I love this! It's funny to say but I feel like this has been a spiritual experience for me and for others too. Something happens when people are joined together, cheering each other on, celebrating their gifts, talent and hard work. Something happens when people from all over the world come together, when there's community. Something happens inside you when your heart is connected with others and when you cheer so loud because you're so thankful that you were blessed to be born in the country that you were. I believe with all my heart that it indeed was a spiritual experience from the God who created us for community and joy and celebration and is our loudest cheerleader! This is something that I need to remind myself more often.

So in the next few weeks I'll have to come down the emotional mountain while I'm in Olympic withdrawal but I don't ever want to forget the joys of these Vancouver games and the life lessons hidden in them.

Thank you Vancouver 2010 for inspiring Canada and for making us BELIEVE once again.

To All My Single Ladies...

2010-02-11T19:12:00.002-05:00

It's almost here. The most dreaded day of the year for single girls desiring marriage everywhere. Yes, it's Valentine's Day. The day of love....blah blah blah. I rarely, actually pretty much never blog about my singleness but tonight I feel a little bit brave. Tonight I'm going to do it. I'm taking a deep breath.....and here I go....

I'm 22, out in the working world and single. I've never dated anyone and I'm still holding out for my first kiss. I've had 3 major crushes in my life, one of them being Mike Fisher, and yes it's the same Mike Fisher that just got engaged to Carrie Underwood. Most people would think 22....you're just a young thing and I am but it doesn't feel so young in this country town that I live in. The norm here is to be married by 21 or at least be seriously dating by then, which makes me sometimes feel like the odd one out. Even if no one thinks it, I feel like they think it. Sometimes I feel less, which is quite ridiculous and not true but still that feeling is there.

One of the biggest desires in my heart is to one day be married. I believe it's a God given desire. One girl that I respect once wrote that the longing is not desperation, it's design. When I first read this I felt understood, I felt like I had just read truth, I wanted to shout it out to all of the people who need to hear it most....perhaps you know who you are! That feeling in the pit of my stomach and that ache in my heart when I attend a wedding (not because I'm not happy for the couple) is design, not desperation, design.

It's funny the things coupled people say when talking about relationships to the singles....things like "oh it will come when you least expect it" or "when you stop thinking about it then it will happen". I usually find myself responding in my head by saying "well when it's a huge desire in your heart and you live in the town of coupledom would you like to tell me how the heck you just stop thinking about it?" One day when I've moved out of singleland, I vow to never tell someone that.

I think I've been learning a lot about relationships while being single. I've been watching and listening and I believe that with each day that passes I feel more equipped to actually be in a relationship. The truth of the matter is that my singleness is a gift and one that I have finally realized I don't want to waste. I know there is purpose in this stage and I want to learn how to be the best me alone so one day I know how to be the best me with someone else.

I'm holding out for a special guy who I know God has for me. I pray for him regularly and while God's working on his heart, He's also working on mine. And let me tell you one thing, when I meet him....I am gonna give him some serious LOVIN!!!!

So for all my single ladies out there waiting for some special guy to put a ring on it.....remember that your singleness is a GIFT! Even though the ache is still there enjoy this time.....seize the days of singleness, pray for your man and don't settle! That feeling in your gut is not desperation, it's design!

You're not alone in the waiting!

So Happy Valentine's Day to my fellow girls who are waiting for Mr. Right.....get your single ladies together and head out on the town for a night of celebration for the woman God has made you and to the woman you're becoming.

Cheers to Love and to the God who is love and made you to love and wants you to experience it at it's best.
Keep holding on.

With LOVE,
~The Kindred Spirit

Making a Difference, One Penny at a Time...

2010-02-03T16:55:00.004-05:00

So I learned about the cutest and most amazing thing at church this past Sunday. One of the mom's who had a little boy in 2:52 Basics (the Sunday School program that I'm really involved in) came up to me to share her son's latest project. Back tracking a little bit....we've been talking about helping others in 2:52 and our latest offering project is Helping Haiti....we're raising money to help them in any way we can. Well this little boy has been working so hard on making these necklaces that have penny at the centre and he's called the campaign....helping Haiti one Penny At a Time. His mom owns a store in St. Catharines called Once Upon A Child and she made a little sign with his picture and the necklaces that people can buy for a dollar. So the boy has been putting tons of time and energy into making and selling these necklaces. He came into Sunday School on Sunday holding a little baggy with $40 to put in our offering container....and this boy is not one to brag but I had to share with the other kids what he's been doing. This story breaks my heart in a good way.

Small things can make a big difference, take it from a little boy in grade 1.

Seize the day,
Darc

Carpe Diem...

2010-01-30T23:55:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since I've written. I always have these thoughts that I want to blog about but I never really make it a priority. My last post was Thanksgiving, oh dear....it has been a while. Well, good news....I have a job! I've been working for the last almost 4 months for an organization serving people with special needs called Bethesda. You can find the link under my favourite links on the side of this page. More specifically I work in a group home called Willow Heights. There are 8 lovely ladies that live in the house. It's a dual diagnosis home so there have been and still are many learning curves for me but the Lord is helping me major!

Some of you may remember from some of my blog entries my best friend Diana who serves in Haiti as a teacher at the Mission of Hope. Most of us have probably seen footage and pictures of the devastation from the earthquake that hit just a few short weeks ago. Please keep Diana and the Mission of Hope in your prayers as they seek to help the Haitian people in every way possible. You can also find Diana's blog under my favourite links at the side.

I've been thinking a lot lately about life and it's elements in all their uncertainties. I've been reading Donald Miller's latest book entitled "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years". The book is all about what he learned while he edited his life. I'm enjoying the book and as usual it's giving me lots to think about. Donald explores the idea of 'story' in great detail. What makes a story? How do you know if you're living a good one? How do you change your story? I think I find myself resonating with these ideas in a big way. I'm a contemplative thinking person which sometimes drives me nuts because I feel like I am always overanalyzing things and my mind rarely stops for a break! These are the kinds of things I'm thinking about at this stage of my life...and maybe you think about them at every stage, I'm not really sure? I'm in my 20's and I want to live a great story. I want to make choices that I won't regret. The message at church last Sunday was about Seizing the Day. The message made me want to see the movie 'Dead Poets Society' where the term 'Carpe Diem' was made famous. I rented the movie last night and watched it. It's kind of a dark movie with a very meaningful message. If you haven't seen it I would highly recommend it. The ending of the movie caught me very off guard and it didn't go where I thought it would go. Endings like this leave you thinking about what happened long after the film is over. I won't give the ending away in case you haven't seen it.

What I believe is the number one thing you take from the film: CARPE DIEM. The latin term for SEIZE THE DAY.

Seize the day. Grab it, take hold of it, be fully present in the moment, it's yours, don't let it slip away. How do I live like this? I love to dream. I dream about the future and what it might hold. Sometimes I get disappointed when things don't turn out like I thought they would. I suppose maybe the dreamer in me sets me up for disappointment sometimes. I think it's wonderful to dream but I also want to live in a way that I am seizing the day. If I had to go back and edit my life I don't want to have regrets. As I've been thinking about this more and more I realize that seizing the day requires me to act. I need to be the one making intentional choices. I want to make the most out of my relationships, I want to love with my whole heart, I want to laugh and cry. I want my heart to be so soft that it breaks over injustice and hurts for people when they hurt.

I heard this artist that I like being interviewed the other day about what's going on in Haiti. His name is Matt Morris. I can't remember the exact term he used but he described this latin word that means "we"......he said in Africa they use this term that essentially talks about connectedness.....so if your grandma is sick you wouldn't say my grandma is sick, you would say our grandma is sick because if one person is hurting then we all are hurting. We are so connected that when you hurt, I hurt. So if Haiti is hurting, we all are hurting and so we all must get involved in helping. I love this term. I love this description. I've seen this happen as I've watched people get involved with Haiti. Like Jay Z says '"let's get's involved with them, hand in hand with them, until they get strong again". It's empowering to see people love well. I think loving well is seizing the day.

I need to think about this more. I think it should be thought about and it should be talked about with other people. I have come to believe that living passionately is contagious. If the earthquake in Haiti has reminded us of anything, it's that life is precious and we need to make the most of each moment because today is a gift. What we do with that gift is up to us. So I think I'm going to start trying to seize the day, I'll let you know how it goes!

And maybe if it's contagious, you'll try it too?

Sweet Dreams and may you love well today,
~Darc

Oh How I Love Thanksgiving...

2009-10-11T22:27:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. I love this time of year, I love that we stop and think about all of the blessings that we have. I love that we get together with the people we love and eat and laugh and are merry. I love that this holiday reminds us to be thankful not just on this holiday. So I thought I would take a chance to write down some of the things that I'm thankful for......

~ My wonderful Family
~ Grace, even when I can't figure out what it means
~ A place to call home
~ Such a great church family
~ Job Interviews (even though they make me nervous)
~ My best friend Diana
~ Skype so I can talk to my best friend Diana in Haiti
~ Chocolate
~ Lovely Friends
~ Starbucks
~ My Jr. High girls small group
~ Music to groove to
~ 2:52 Basics and all the wonderful people involved
~ Love stories
~ Being able to see Nashville in September
~ My Health
~ Protection
~ Having a Heavenly Father
~ Scarves
~ A tree swing (I always wanted one and now I have one at my new house)

There's so much to be thankful for. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving whoever you may be and wherever you may find yourself. May you recognize the blessings in your life and thank the Lord for them.

Happy Thanksgiving,
~The Kindred Spirit :)

The Downfall to a Really Good Nap...

2009-09-28T01:38:00.003-04:00

It's now 1:38 am....yes in the morning and here I sit wide eyed on my bed. Why you may ask.....because I took a very long nap today. Clearly my body got confused and thought that my nap was really bed time.....I just kept sleeping because it was one of those sleeps where you just can't wake up....your whole body is in it! And now I sit...awake. It's been an interesting evening really....I actually haven't had one like it in a while. Are you ready to hear what I did......I watched tv and chatted with my best friend....haha! I know you were expecting something more but I haven't had a night where I just sat and watched tv in a while and it was kind of nice. I watched Extreme Home Makeover; it was the season premiere and it was quite good. They do such great work on that show, it gives you a warm feeling inside to see the good that they're doing. So I watched tv and then I went upstairs to get ready for bed about 3 hours ago and found that I was wide awake and then I somehow stumbled upon a movie called "If Only" and I watched it on youtube. It's a good movie but quite sad at the end, it does offer a good message though. So now I sit and look at the clock and wonder what time it will be when I actually do fall asleep? Any guesses?

Well tomorrow begins another week. I'm still on the job hunt and waiting for an interview from a particular organization. I hope that they call this week. It's interesting when you become an adult and enter the workforce. I mean I only know that it's interesting to think about getting a job and joining the workforce because I don't really know if it's interesting when you actually have a job and are in the workforce? If and when I do get a job I'll be sure to let you know how it is!

It's a little unusual when you've spent most of your life in school preparing for this time and even if you didn't always like it you could depend on that predictability. Even if you complained you knew school was there and in the fall that's where you'd be. And then you graduate and then someone asks you what you're doing in the fall and you say that you have absolutely no idea! And after you've repeated that to the many people who ask you, it's hard not to feel a sense of panic somewhere in you. What's worse is when the fall comes and then people ask you what you're doing now and you say "oh I'm just looking for a job". It's normal, most of us have been there....but this morning at church someone asked me that question and I felt somehow less. And by less I mean I'm no longer a student, my education is no longer in progress. I mean I'm a lifelong learner and there's a good possibility that I may go back to school in the future but currently I have completed my program and I'm no longer studying in hopes of finishing. I'm finished. Somehow when you say "oh I'm just looking for a job" out loud it doesn't sound as good as "oh I'm currently studying _____(fill in the blank) in hopes of ________ (fill in the blank)! I know that this is what happens when you're done school, it's a natural process....but it doesn't feel very natural. It's like you've worked so hard to get through school and then you have to try and sell yourself and prove yourself just to land something hopefully in your field. It hardly seems fair. I suppose life isn't fair. The one truth that I somehow can rest in is that I serve a God who is bigger than all of this. He made me, He knows me and He has plans for me and He won't let my gifts go to waste. So I'll do my part and step through the doors that I can and trust God to open and shut them according to His plan and perhaps show me a window or two that I never knew was there.

So perhaps I'll get a call this week.....perhaps something else will come?

If I do get a call....you can be sure a new wave of panic will come.

But it's natural right?!?

It's now 2:05 am and I think I might try sleeping. We'll see how it goes!

Sweet Dreams,
~The Kindred Spirit

Heaven is the Face

2009-09-25T14:09:00.005-04:00

I'm not sure if you're familiar with Steven Curtis Chapman but he is a popular Christian artist. He's been singing for quite a long time.....I grew up listening to his stuff. A few months ago his daughter was killed in a horrible accident. Anyways he wrote a song called 'Heaven is the Face' for his new album 'Beauty Will Rise' coming out in November. The song is beautiful and the words are powerful. I've included the link....please check it out.

Blessings,
Darcie

Link = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9JTwJ_1lzE

I Caught The Bouquet!!!!

2009-09-23T23:20:00.003-04:00

This is Amber's bouquet from her wedding 2 weeks ago! I caught it after she threw it and can you believe that this is the first bouquet I have ever caught? I actually fought for the thing...I knocked it right out of my best friend's hands....it was great! Anyways it is a beautiful bouquet.....the flowers are starting to dry out now but it's still gorgeous. Everyone was asking when I was getting married....I told them that I need to meet a man first....I'm really quite disappointed I didn't meet a Tennessee boy when I was in Nashville....boy I love those accents! I just had to share the pic of the bouquet.

My life is pretty exciting, eh?

Hope ya'll had a great day (like they say in Nashville),
Darc

I'm Back!!!!

2009-09-22T21:49:00.006-04:00

Summer is over and I'm back in Wainfleet. I just got back on Sunday from my road trip to Nashville with Joy and can I just say that is was the best trip of my life! Nashville is an amazing city and there is tons of stuff to do. We spent our 5 days there going to the Grand Ole Opry, Country Music Hall of Fame, going to a Nashville Preds game, eating at some cool restaurants, spending some time in Franklin, roadtripping from Nashville to Memphis to tour Graceland....and those are just a few highlights. I have tons of pictures on facebook but I'll post a few of my favs.....

So my family has moved into our new house....which hopefully I will post some pics of soon. I'm adjusting very well to life in my large new room! I've also started job hunting which I must say is very stressful. I just hate the time between not having a job to getting an interview to transitioning into life at the new workplace.....but I'm just praying that the Lord has a job for me and hopefully I'll be able to stumble into it. I'm still working part time at my church as the children's ministry assistant which I'm enjoying so I'm thankful that I have something to work at until I find another something.

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday and it doesn't seem like long ago that I was blogging about turning 20! I guess a lot can happen in 2 years....I wonder what will happen in the next couple of years? It seems that this age brings about a lot of change and a lot of independence. I spent my summer living at camp (as you can read below) and it's a lot different coming home and trying to adjust back to living with your family. It's also different learning how to adjust to living with your parents when you somewhere along the way have become an adult too.....at least somewhat. The lines start to appear blurry and I guess it's quite frightening for me. I'm hoping once I find a job and settle into that then this new normal will actually begin to feel normal. I guess it's a lot of change at once. My best friend Diana left last week to return back to Haiti to teach for another year. I know she's where she's supposed to be but it's still hard that she's so far away. Pray for her if she comes to mind....she's doing great work!

Well I think that's all for now....I'm hoping to start getting back into blogging now that fall is here and summer is over...but I guess we'll see how it goes!

Sweet Dreams Y'all,
~The Kindred Spirit

Only 3 Weeks Left of Summer!!!

2009-08-15T23:35:00.005-04:00

It’s hard to believe that the summer is almost over. It’s weird for me to think that I won’t be going back to school in the fall, which may I add is 3 weeks away. I hardly know what to do with myself except panic but somehow I know that I just need to keep trusting God about my future. It seems that there’s a lot to trust Him with.

This summer has been jam packed and full of a little bit of everything….sunshine, rain, campfires, pool parties, hoe down’s, timmy’s runs, port elgin cruises, beautiful sunsets, poop (haha), dances, room 14 bonding (wink wink), tears, raspberry turnovers and some wonderful people! I’ve been blessed to meet so many amazing people in such a short time…..that’s one of the nice things about camp.

For those of you who don’t know I moved into the Christian Horizons Conference Centre (CHCC) in a small town called Paisley at the beginning of May to work as the program coordinator for the camp ministry. I share a very tiny room with 5 other beautiful ladies. CHCC serves people who have exceptional disabilities and we have the pleasure of trying to ensure they have a wonderful vacation when then join us for a week or two or sometimes even three! I feel as though the Bruce Country has become my second home. My family rents a cottage about 30 minutes away from Paisley and so it’s funny when we drive into Port Elgin (the closest bigger town to Paisley) I feel like it’s my town because I spend so much time there!

I love taking pictures and editing them. I tried to choose my top five pics of the summer….these are them….

This past week was my family vacation at Chesley Lake. It was a wonderful week…you can check out facebook if you want to see some more vacation pics.

So there are 3 more weeks of camp and then I’m heading home to move into my new house and start up 2:52 Basics. I’m also roadtriping to Nashville with one of my best friends Joy. On top of that I will be on the hunt for a full time (or whatever I can get) job! In my spare time I plan to paint my new room, purge myself of all the junk that I’ve piled up over the course of my lifetime…..so basically that means a quarter of all the junk since when I begin purging then I also begin reminiscing as to the reasons I’ve kept the junk this long in the first place. Please call me or send me a message if you’d like to go out for coffee….I’d love to hit up a Starbucks (something they’ve apparently never heard of in the Bruce County) and chat.

Anyways I think that concludes this update.

Hope summer’s finding you well!

Sincerely,
Darc

A Sonnet For Your Evening...

2009-07-07T22:00:00.001-04:00

I like this sonnet.....it's also in Sense & Sensibility :)

Sonnet 116
by William Shakespeare

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixèd mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved

Sweet Dreams,
The Kindred Spirit

Summer Lovin...

2009-07-06T14:10:00.006-04:00

So I'm pretty much inspired right now. I just watched a really powerful clip on YouTube....check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th6Njr-qkq0

It's called 99 balloons and it's a powerful story about love.

I'm about halfway through my summer now and I'm starting to feel it a bit. I'm getting tired but I'm trying to find the energy to keep things fun and exciting. There are so amazing guests that come to visit camp every summer. This being my second year is wonderful because I recognize so many of the guests and some of them even remember me.

Working and hanging out with the guests brings me such joy but it also makes me think a lot. I think about what we value as humans and what gives us our worth. The truth is that we have value and worth just because we are made in God's image. That simple fact makes us all worthy of life and love. I've been blessed to have a great team to work with here at Christian Horizons as well. Jessica and Ang (featured in the picture below) are on the rec team with me and they are wonderful! Last week we celebrated Canada Day and it was an absolute blast. The weather was rainy for most of the day but cleared up in the evening so we could have a campfire and fireworks. We did karaoke in the morning and we had an indoor carnival in the afternoon....where I had an opportunity to practice my face-painting skills. It was so good to celebrate together.....I love Canada and we are so blessed to live in a wonderful country. I just love having opportunities to celebrate together with people....I think it's one of the most precious gifts. Watching the fireworks in the beautiful Paisley sky filled me with this sense of wonder. God is so big but yet He chooses to care for me.

Anyways I hope you're all having a great summer. I had a chance to come home this past weekend and some exciting news happening with my family is that we are moving.....just down the road but it's a beautiful house and it's very exciting. I'll have to post some pictures as soon as we move (which will be at the end of the summer).

Here's a few of my favourite summer pics so far....

Keep Loving,
Darc

Summer is HERE!!!!

2009-06-20T18:50:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone,

Sorry it's been a while since I've blogged. I'm here in Paisley working at Christian Horizons again this summer. My role is a bit different than last summer....this year I'm working as the program coordinator. It's a fun and high energy job.....it's lots of planning and motivating which does get tiring but I'm enjoying it and I love getting to work with such fantastic people! Here are a few pics of my time so far...

This is the AWSOME Rec TEAM!!!!

A few of us preformed the song 'The Boys Are Back' for talent show....it was tons of fun!

This was my first ever guest when I started at CH.....she's so beautiful and full of life!

Pretty Stellar!

I also graduated from college a couple of weeks ago....which was great.....except now I am definitely feeling the pressure of trying to figure out what comes next for me. I would appreciate any prayer for this!

I know this is a really short update....I'll try and blog some more later.

Hope you're all having an excellent start to the summer :)

Yours Truly,
Darc

'Twas the week of Wedding Bliss...

2009-04-28T00:00:00.003-04:00

It's hard to believe that school is done....for good! At least for a little while.....that is if I ever decide to go back. My graduation will be in June but I'm done school....wowzers....seems like I just started...and now it's time to become an adult and get a real job. I've never been so scared in my life! It's true that a lot can happen in two years though....I've made some amazing friends. After our last exam a bunch of us went out to celebrate....here's a few pics...

This week is absolutely a crazy one! Erin and Jesse's wedding is on Saturday and my Mom and I are emceeing the wedding so we are busy getting ready for that. Jessica and I are leaving for Christian Horizons next Monday. I worked there last summer for 3 months as a support worker (see previous summer blogs) but this summer I'm returning as the program coordinator and Jess will be my assistant so if you remember please pray for us! I'm really excited for the summer and for getting a chance to work with Jess. I'm trusting that the Lord will help us make this summer great and that He will have some great things in store for us too! I'll try and keep my blog updated as to how the summer is going and I'll for sure have some lovely pics up on facebook!

I've been working on a music playlist for the reception this evening.... and I must say that all this love song business is putting me in the mood for a wedding. There's nothing like Tony Bennett's 'The Way You Look Tonight' to make you want to grab the one you love and stroll the dance floor.....although there won't be a dance at this wedding, I can certainly use my imagination!

Sweet Dreams....especially to all you lovers out there (do I sound like a DJ?) :),
The Kindred Spirit

ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM...

2009-04-16T22:25:00.003-04:00

So my good friend Stacey and I have been working for the last couple of weeks on an assistive device for our Technology for Special Needs Class and with the help of my Dad we adapted an old sled and created the ZOOM sled, also known as the Red Lady. There are a few pics below of the sled before and after and our presentation board. We're hoping to find a family who could put the sled to good use so if you know anyone let me know. We also made a pretty sweet commercial with the Zoom Zoom song remixed to all different types of music....it's pretty great. I also loved getting to spend so much time with Stac....that was definitely a highlight.....hopefully our mark will be high!

My Dad's pretty pro when it comes to woodworking.....we couldn't have done the project without him. I'm a pretty luck girl to have such great parents! :)

Hope y'all have a good night (y'all is my new word...lol).
~Darc

2009-04-16T20:34:00.006-04:00

Check out this video on YouTube...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raQNEw6m_GM

Sweet Dreams,
The Kindred Spirit

Lovely Easter Times...

2009-04-12T21:02:00.008-04:00

This morning was the Easter sunrise service.....many from my church met at 6:45 to watch the sun come up and celebrate the resurrection. Every year someone says 'the Lord is risen' and we all reply by saying 'the Lord is risen indeed, Hallelujah'. We sang and heard some testimonies from people about what the hope of Easter means to them.....it was lovely being all bundled up and watching the sun come up.

My wonderful friend Stacey, from school came to spend Easter with the family. It was great having her....this was her second year spending Easter with us....we are starting a yearly tradition :)

My Grandma has also been here for the last couple days, which has been great. This is the first Easter without Grandpa so it's very special that Grandma can be here with us. I do hope she comes to visit more often. This pic is Grandma setting the table and telling me that in all these years Dad still can't figure out which side the forks go on....I found that very amusing....lol!

It's been a great Easter....hopefully lovely spring weather will follow soon!

Hope your Easter was as great as mine :)

Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit

You Get The Best of Both Worlds :)

2009-04-11T21:18:00.004-04:00

So today was a windy but beautiful sunny day. My great friend Leanne and my brother Greg and I went to see the new Hannah Montana movie. I know it's probably pathetic that I'm 21 and I'm a huge Miley Cyrus fan....but I loved the movie and would definitely recommend it. I must say it was pretty cute seeing all the little kids in the theatre. Here's a few pics from the outing...

It was pretty funny when Greg went up to get his ticket....he muttered "one for Hannah Montanna"....the girl laughed at him and asked him if he was paying for a nap....I was laughing my head off! We also ended our trip with a short walk at the peer but it was still a little too chilly to walk for long!

Tomorrow morning is our annual sunrise service....our church meets at 6:45 to celebrate the resurrection....it's always a highlight! I am not a morning person in the least but it's always worth dragging my butt out of bed early Easter Sunday!

Hopefully I can get in a nap sometime tomorrow too....lol!

Sweet Dreams,
Darc

2009-04-10T16:08:00.002-04:00

If you haven't had a chance to purchase Rascal Flatts new cd entitled 'Unstoppable' I would highly recommend it! I think my favourite song on the album right now is the title of the album 'unstoppable' but I really like 'Close' too and 'Things That Matter'....lol!

Oh and Happy Easter everyone.

Do you know why they call this Good Friday.....it was good for us and bad for Jesus. I'm so thankful that this day so many years ago brought me freedom, grace and a chance to really LIVE!!!!

~Darc

More Balloons, Please...

2009-04-06T21:05:00.003-04:00

One of my favourite books is SexGod by Rob Bell. In the end of the book he writes a story....I just read it again today and thought I'd share it....

"Several years ago, I conducted a wedding ceremony on a Saturday afternoon in June. The bride wore a white summer dress, the groom a white linen shirt. They insisted on the simplest ceremony possible. It was held in a park in a grove of trees. Their family and friends stood in a circle, with the three of us in the middle. I began with a welcome, they exchanged vows and rings, I pronounced them husband and wife, they kissed, everybody clapped. The ceremony took seven minutes.

They were then each handed a cluster of helium balloons on strings. The balloons, I told everybody, were symbols of their past marriages, pregnancies they had chosen to terminate, people they had had affairs with when they were previously married, relationships that had not lasted. As a picture of starting over, together, they wanted their first act as a married couple to be letting the balloons go.

They walked out of the grove of trees into an adjoining field. Just the two of them, holding hands, standing in knee-high grass, exchanging words that only they could hear. Then they raised the balloons above their heads and let them go. We all stood there, watching those balloons float away until they drifted from sight.

There are moment you wonder if you'll ever forget. Events that sear themselves on your conscience. That moment was one of those for me.

A few years later their marriage imploded. She moved an hour away. He relocated to another part of the country. They divorced.

I finish with this story because life is messy. Gut wrenching. Risky. Things don't always turn out well. Sometimes they don't turn out at all. Sometimes everything falls apart and we wonder if there's any point to any of it. We're tempted to shut ourselves off, fortify the walls around our hearts, and forge ahead, promising ourselves that we will never open ourselves up like that again.

But I have to believe that we can recover from anything. I have to believe that God can put anything - anyone - back together. I have to believe that the God Jesus invites us to trust is as good as he says he is.

Loving,

Forgiving.

Merciful.

Full of grace.

And I have to believe that God does not run out of balloons."

I love this story....I think it can speak to us no matter what point we're at. This year's been a bit rough for me and I too have to believe that God does not run out of balloons.

I'm sure glad too!

Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit

2009-04-05T17:03:00.002-04:00

"Therefore, my dear brothers (and sisters), stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58

Vain = Useless.
Vain = Having no meaning or likelihood of fulfillment.
In Vain = Without success or result.

We are not in vain.

:) Darc

Mmmmm....GOOD!!!!

2009-04-02T20:53:00.004-04:00

If you have never ever tried a peppermint white mocha frap from Starbucks....you really MUST! I enjoyed one today and I must say it took my day from good to GREAT!!!!

Love my Starbucks :)
~Darc

The State of the Human Condition...

2009-04-01T19:54:00.001-04:00

2009-04-01T18:20:00.002-04:00

So today I forgot my cell phone at home and only realized it when I was halfway to school. I started to mentally panic because I didn't have time to turn around and get it. I was thinking....oh man what if I get stranded or something! Then I remembered a time not so long ago when I didn't have a cell phone and I drove around everywhere without one. A time where if you got stranded then you would just walk to someone's house and beg for some help or at least a phone call. So I pressed on to school without my cell phone and I did not get stranded. Boy things change fast!

Along the same lines as things changing fast....I just joined twitter. My Dad kept talking about joining so I joined and he still hasn't....I'll just keep nagging him until he does. So I like to tweet....hahaha! I am a facebook feen but I'm pretty clueless when it comes to Twitter...hopefully I can learn. All I know is I actually feel connected to famous people who I have never met before...it's really quite odd and maybe a little stalkerish, but isn't that why all these internet wonders like facebook and twitter are so popular....because people long and love to be connected with each other! I think it's fun.....and I think you should join twitter if you haven't because I really don't know a lot of people on there personally and it would be nice to have some actual twitter friends!

Happy tweeting to me and you (maybe)!

:) Darc

2009-03-31T21:42:00.002-04:00

I think I'm going to try to start blogging a bit more....we'll see how it goes!
Today I worked for most of the day at the church on creative development for 2:52 Basics....this month's virtue is Conviction....check out my sweet bulletin board!

Thanks to the team for all their hard work yet again....so blessed to have great volunteers!

~Darc

Picture of the Week...

2009-03-12T09:58:00.003-04:00

This picture was taken at the Port Elgin beach during my Paisley summer. I long for these summer days and they can't come soon enough!

Love Can

2009-03-11T23:40:00.002-04:00

I recently heard the lyrics to a song called 'Love Can' by a band called Decemberadio. It's a powerful song and one that I've been listening to a lot. Check it out...

LOVE CAN

What can move a mountain from the place where it stands?
What can calm the greatest fear with a Touch from it's Hand?
What can turn an enemy to a brother and a friend?
There is only one thing I know
Love Can
Love Can

What can bring a miracle in a moment of need?
What can reach a fallen soul and put him back on his feet?
What can say that nothing is beyond it's hands?
There is only one thing I know
Yes I know

Chorus
That only love can heal your broken heart
When it's all said and done
And you've had enough
Only love can bring you off of your knees
And back on your feet

What can build a bridge between a Holy God and a sinful man?
I know there's only one thing only love can
What can help a lost soul find his way back home again?
There is only one thing I know
Yes, I know
Yes, I know

Chorus
That only love can heal your broken heart
When it's all said and done
And you've had enough
Only love can bring you off of your knees
And back on your feet

Only love can move a mountain
Only love can heal the broken
Only love can move a mountain
Only love can heal the broken
Only love can move a mountain
Only love can heal the broken

Sweet Dreams,
The Kindred Spirit

Walls

2009-03-11T21:20:00.000-04:00

It’s funny how you can think one thing
And you think this other person is on the same page as you
But really,
it’s like night and day.
And when you figure it out,
the only word that comes to mind is ‘idiot’.

Perhaps it’s the story of everyone’s life at some point.
In the moment it doesn’t seem to matter.
It doesn’t seem to matter that others can relate.
All that matters is the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Nothing can make it better and you somehow can’t escape it.
So, you let it run its course.
Eventually it passes, at least that is the hope.

It’s funny how the thing that can make you break your walls down,
can also make you build them sky high.
You build them so high and so strong,
so that pit feeling knows it’s never welcome to return.
Sometimes it doesn’t get the message.
Note to self: build higher, stronger walls.

One day when your walls are so high and so strong and you are alone,
you will wonder if building higher, stronger walls was the answer?
There might be a chance that the pit feeling was meant to be.
Could there be a lesson in the pit?
Perchance is the pit actually protection?
Why does protection have to hurt?
Too many unanswered questions.

As we grow and learn we never completely forget the pit.
Sometimes it returns in other faces,
but it’s still recognizable because we will never forget that feeling.
The feeling that laid the foundation for our walls.
And with fingers crossed you may have learned by now
that only two things break down the walls.
Love and Hope.
In all their many facets they, together can break down walls.
Or prevent you from building them in the first place.
Note to self: Resist the urge to build higher, stronger walls
or any wall at all for that matter.

Back to the 90's...

2009-01-19T21:39:00.005-05:00

I was born in the late 80's, meaning my childhood took place in the 90's. Recently I've re-discovered my love for one christian rock group in particular....Petra. I grew up listening to these guys and I have so many wonderful memories of rocking out to them in the car with my Dad. I've been listening to one of their albums, my favourite one, entitled 'Beyond Belief' a lot lately. The words to the songs on this cd are full of amazing truths spoken or sung in a powerful way. I just wanted to share the lyrics to one of their songs with you. It's called 'Seen and Not Heard' and I hope you'll take a moment to think about what they're saying.

Seen And Not Heard

Too many black sheep in the family
Too many stones from a house of glass
They've heard the story, they've heard the lines
But talk is too cheap to change their minds
They want to see some vital signs
Convictions - in the way we live
Convictions - not a narrative
Actions speak a little louder than words

(Chorus)
Seen and not heard, seen and not heard
Sometimes God's children should be seen and not heard
There's too much talk and not enough walk
Sometimes God's children should be seen and not heard

Delayed reaction to hostility
Brings us into reality
Cause when we answer in our defense
They can see through the false pretense
They want to see some evidence
Commitment - no more alibis
Commitment - not a compromise
Actions speak a little louder than words
Let your light so shine in all you do
With an answer near when they come to you

Don't let your mouth start talkin'
Until your feet start walkin'

Perhaps you too may want to re-discover the 80's and 90's!!!!

Yours truly,
The Kindred Spirit

Laughter

2009-01-17T10:27:00.000-05:00

It all happened at once.
It came like a freezing cold breeze on a hot day.
Laughter and tears, they both came.
Some laughed for the wait was over.
Some cried because it all seemed ridiculous.
Bitterness didn’t seem right, but it was there.
Sinicism was all too natural.
Yet it was not a bad thing.

For some, it was a reminder of loneliness.
For others it brought opportunity.
Some questioned it.
Time?
Motivation?
Opportunity?
Love?
Real Love?

Some knew better.
The struggle will come.
Life goes on.
What then for you?
Is it the adventure you’ve always wanted?
Perhaps.
For some there could be more.
It seems heavy but it won’t always be this way.

It all happened at once.
It will all be over at once.
For others, the wait is the lesson.
The lesson answers the questions.
Time, motivation, opportunity, love.
Real love will bring you.

The wait is the struggle.
The struggle must be worth it.
I trust.
I hope.
It will come.
The adventure begins here.
Now.

Sinicism must be ignored.
Bitterness fought.
Loneliness overcome.

The opportunity is the breeze.
In that the lesson,
and the struggle.
The wait won’t last forever.
Then, it will be time.
And there will be laughter.

What is left?

2008-11-26T20:44:00.003-05:00

I think I have become a cynic. I don’t really know how this happened. All I know is I came back to Wainfleet after 3 months away and somehow I was different. I can’t really figure it out; I just see things differently. I find myself thinking things I never thought before. I used to be this feeling driven person and now I’m not so much anymore. I prayed for a long time that my faith would not be based on my feelings; perhaps this is the answer to those prayers? I find myself questioning whether people have “spiritual experiences” because God is really speaking to them or because other people have manipulated a “feel good” experience and so because they feel something then it must be God. I believe God uses our feelings and I believe that we can experience wonderful highs because we met with God in a profound way. However, feelings come and go; they sway like the wind. I know from first hand experience, anyone who knows me real well can testify.

Lately I have begun to break things apart. If we did not have the feeling then would we be left with something concrete? I’m a pastor’s kid and I really love it, most of the time. The problem with being a P.K. who is actually interested in the church is I think about things too much. I question people’s motives and reasoning behind them. I think about what people say and actually consider whether it’s biblical or not. I go home from a Christian event and discuss and think about what the real point of whatever happened was. I think about what a person who doesn’t know Jesus would think if they were to walk into a room. One time I went to this Christian event where the people started confessing the sins of our generation out loud (this was ok) but then people started to get a little freaky, I had been a Christian for a long time and I was super freaked out. All I could think about was what would someone who doesn’t know Jesus think if they walked into this room right now.

I think about bible times. I wonder if they were able to manipulate a feel good experience like we do now? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not feeling bashing here…..I just wonder if we are raising people up to be Christians who only know how to function when everything feels good and who only think God speaks to them through their feelings?

Have you ever been somewhere where God made his presence so known and there was no doubt, no questions, just God. I was at a conference a while ago and I heard a guy speak, he was funny and really knew how to get the crowd going. At the end of his talk he showed this video and narrated through it. It was a story about a man, but the realization was that the story being told was everyone’s story. I don’t think there was anyone in that room, Christian or not, who didn’t know that God was present in that room. I don’t think there was anyone in that room who didn’t realize that despite the crap in this world, the crap in their lives and any uncertainties they had, that God somehow loves them. It was one of those experiences where my heart and my mind met. I felt God’s presence and I knew it too. It wasn’t that guy on that stage; it was Jesus in the room. You can’t manipulate that.

Perhaps this is my own beef. These past few months have been kind of difficult. Things haven’t been like I thought they would and I’ve been discouraged and lonely and disappointed. I think I was disappointed that God wouldn’t give me a quick fix and make everything wonderful. I think I’ve started to realize that I have trouble functioning when things don’t feel good. I think I expect that God should make me feel good, like a puppet, He should act on my command. It’s quite ridiculous really. Perhaps it’s because I have grown up in the church and somehow come to think that if I don’t have the feel good experiences all the time then somehow God is mad or distant. Lies….Lies…..Lies. I hear it…..but I still can’t fully grasp it. I think I need time. I need time to teach myself this truth. Perhaps it’s a point of maturity…..when all of a sudden you realize that life is not a fairy tale and I was not created in order that God would serve me….it’s really vice versa. This is the point where my faith becomes more about truth and what I know rather than what I feel. Feelings do have a place but not the only place. Things even out. Perhaps the words in the bible are so profound and life giving and powerful that God would choose to speak to me through them and somehow it would fill me more than a feel good experience ever could because when you take away the feelings, what is left? I think it’s a good question, perhaps a good tool to get one to think more critically about things?

What is left?

I need to learn a new way.

This is going to be hard.

So I Wait Upon You Lord....

2008-09-10T22:41:00.005-04:00

It's hard to believe that the summer is over and fall is here and with that comes school, a new ministry season and the departure of my best friend to Haiti. I had a wonderful summer working at Christian Horizons. It was full of learning and growing and being stretched and laughing and crying and meeting so many wonderful people. I don’t think I am able to describe with words what the Lord has been doing in my heart and life this summer but perhaps these things will reveal themselves in my writing in time, I’m not sure. I strongly believe that my capacity to love and care has been stretched. I think that the way I look at things is a little different now.

My theme verse this summer was Ephesians 3:20…

Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.

I thought of these words often during my summer days. Jesus is able to accomplish INFINITELY more than we would ever DARE to ask or hope. Sometimes I think we don’t ask God for certain things in fear of disappointment. This verse says that he can do more than we would ever even dare to ask or hope. I think this verse reveals that God has surprises in store for us. The things I hope for are things that I love and often desire in the deepest of places. Most people will never know these hopes, but God knows. I like living in the reality that God has wonderful surprises for me.

This summer was one of those wonderful surprises. I would have never guessed that the Lord would bring me to a small, unknown town called Paisley and open my heart to a new world of people. It was just good and I am so thankful.

The summer was great but I'm ready to be home now for a while. I'm ready to be fully present and engaged in things here in Wainfleet.

My best friend, Diana, left yesterday morning for Haiti, for a year. To say the least, it was a rough day. I feel like a piece of me went on that plane to Haiti and now I'm not quite sure what to do. It's a type of grief that I have never experienced before. I have always been the one to go away on adventures and leave my family and friends behind. I have never been the one on the other side. I don't like this side very much. It's quite difficult. I know that the Lord wants Diana in Haiti, I know that this is what's best. I am so excited for her and what this year will do in her life. I'm just trying to figure out what to do now. Diana is the person that is always there. We spend so much time together just talking about everything. We are brutally honest with one another and have one of those 'real' relationships, the kind that you don't find with many people. The realness is when you can be completely honest about where you're at. Di is the person who I call up and say do you just want to get together, I don't know what we'll do but let's just hang out. We discuss books, things we're struggling with, our dreams about where we'll live, who we'll marry, where we'll work, what kind of cars we'll drive and the list goes on. We pray together, laugh together, cry together and so even though we can still email and phone one another it's still hard because she's not here. I never knew I could have a friend like this.....to have a friendship like this one has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. Please pray for my kindred spirit Diana as she embarks on this new journey. I have put her blog in my favourite links so you can keep updated with her.

This brings me to now.....as I sit here and write with a bit of a heavy heart. I am praying that the Lord would put new and fresh things in my life for this time and that I would be open to these things. I guess it will just take a bit to readjust but I know the Lord is faithful in all these things and that he may just have a few surprises up His sleeve for me.

So I will wait in anticipation.

Sweet Dreams,
The Kindred Spirit

Saturday Ramblings...

2008-06-14T23:09:00.001-04:00

I have made it through my first 2 weeks at CH. My first week was probably one of the hardest weeks ever, it wasn’t bad but it was difficult. I was one on one with a high needs behavioural guest and it was pretty intense at moments. In the middle of the week I really questioned whether this is the right thing for me but somehow amidst the frustration, worry and tiredness I had a peace. I was told that most weeks won’t be as hard as that first one, I am hoping this is true.

This past week I had three male guests…..I worked with one of the male staff to provide care. They were three very sweet men, two of them were deaf and one was deaf in one ear and so I was trying to learn some sign language this week. The three of them loved to sit in the lounge and rock in the chairs, so I would bring my book along and read while they rocked….it was pretty funny. One of my highlights of this past week was the water games activity where I pretty much got thrown into a pool of water and doused with cold water…..however I may have asked for it…lol!

I wrote in my previous blog about the lonliness I was feeling……that is gone now. I am making lots of new friends and everyone is getting to know one another and we are becoming more of a team. There are some wonderful people here, so unique and all here to serve others. In a week or two the highschool students will arrive to work, so I wonder how that will change things?

One thing that I really enjoy about this place is the beauty of it. Paisley is pretty much in the middle of nowhere! It’s about an hour from Owen Sound or 20 minutes from Port Elgin, if you know where that is. It set back in the country amongst rolling hills and trees. If you walk down the camp driveway out to the road you walk down this laneway with trees lining both sides and as soon as you hit the end of the driveway it is like a clearing of open space. The sky opens up and you fill like you have a glimpse of heaven on earth. I sometimes wish I could paint because I would capture that clearing. There is another spot at the camp, which has come to be known by all as ‘Devo Hill’. It is this hill you can walk up and see everything for miles. Apparently it is a good make out spot but I think it’s a good spot to think and reflect on the beauty of God and how I get to be a part of His plan.

This weekend I am staying around this area. I spent last night at the camp and then this afternoon I am going to try to find my way to the Centre For Student Leadership in Clarksburg where a party is being held for a friend of mine who has just gotten his doctorate. Last night a few girls and I watched this movie called ‘Into The Wild’. It’s a very interesting movie. It’s about this guy who basically gets tired of materialism and leaves his family to go into the wild by himself……his only plan is to get to Alaska. He makes it to Alaska and lives in an abandoned bus that he finds. In the end he comes to the conclusion, which I think is the central theme of the film, that happiness is best shared. After living and surviving on his own for almost 2 years he realizes that life is better shared.

God designed us to be in relationship with one another. We need each other. I was talking to a guy this week who describes his Holy Discontent as being North America…..I asked him if he could be more specific and he went on to describe the way a lot of people live their lives in North America. This film made me think about the conversation I had with him. He talked about how people live meaningless lives with the purpose of earning more money. They wake up, go to work, come home, watch tv, go to bed and start all over again the next morning. This reminded me of the thought about people burying their gifts that I have been pondering for the last month or so. I heard once that people are spiritual gifts. We are gifts to one another; we need each other. I believe that there are people who are not burying their gifts because I am witnessing it right now. I also believe that there are some people who are like what the guy described and I believe that God wants more for them. I also wonder what it might look like for those people to live differently? I am not sure. Sometimes I think I fall into the same category of being materialistic.

What does it mean to live simply?

I am not trying to pick on people but I am learning that life holds so much more purpose and fullness when we are open to the more that God has for us. I am learning that God swims in the deep end with us when the water seems over our heads. I wish that more people could really know God because I think our world would look so different.

As I write this I am also reminded that it has to start with me. I have to live this way. I have to be open to the more that God has for me. I have to become less and God more.

I don’t know if I could ever be one of those people who lives with just a backpack in a hut because I live in this culture and I feel blessed. I enjoy having a roof over my head, driving a car, having nice clothes and buying things I like…..but I really think that it’s not one way or the other. I believe you can live in this culture, in North America and still live differently, still live in the more that God has. I am just figuring out what that means…..thankfully along with others too.

I think the key is people. Happiness is best shared. People first. Others first. Loving people where they’re at. Engaging in life with them……wherever they are and whoever they are.

Maybe it’s that simple. Love God and Love people. Maybe if we do that then everything else won’t seem like such a big issue.

I don’t know, these are just my ramblings.

Last thought for this morning…….I am pretty thankful in this moment that God is still working on me because after two weeks of serving I have come to the conclusion that I am utterly selfish. I think my motto must be Love God…….oh and Love people when it’s convenient for me. This must change.

You can pray for me in this. I feel so stretched at times but I just want to keep learning and loving.

I hope you have a wonderful Saturday,
Darc

Saturday, May 31, 2008

2008-06-14T23:08:00.000-04:00

I have decided to try and blog a bit while I am at camp or while I have my day off on Saturday. However, since I do not have wireless here at camp I will most likely write the blog out and then post it when I do have internet.

As I have already written, I am spending my summer working at one of the Christian Horizons camps located in the thriving metropolis of Paisley, Ontario. If you have never been to Paisley you really should check in out….you can drive through the town in probably 30 seconds! I arrived here on Wednesday and didn’t know what to expect. It takes me about 4 hours to get here. 2 of those hours are a series of highways and the other 2 are a series of back roads….and I mean back roads! The drive feels like a long one but it is very beautiful, I drive right through Mennonite country, which I love. My first few days of staff training were very overwhelming. I cried, more than once…..of course not where anyone could see or hear me. I got here and there were 2 crowds, the leadership team and the EBC students…..I am not either! I know that it takes time to build relationships but I must say loneliness is an awful feeling especially when you are in such an unknown setting. I am starting to get to know people a bit more, which I am so thankful for. Tomorrow the first week of guests start to arrive. The first week are all adults with high needs so I will be one-on-one with a guest. I am quite nervous. I have never done personal care like toileting and showering before so that seems to be at the top of my nervousness. I just want to make sure my guest gets the best care. A lot of the staff are so experienced so hopefully I can learn quickly and it will become easy for me.

When I left my house on Wednesday I felt like the Lord and I were going on a road trip. I felt like I was walking into the complete unknown. I have lived away from home before, when I was a Youthbuilder, but this is different. I am in the complete unknown and I am in this place of complete servanthood. I have been thinking a lot about servanthood this week. I think a lot of us are really into convenient serving, like it’s easy to serve when you are in the comfort zone. You get to leave when you want, if you don’t feel well you can go home, we don’t feel the effects of serving. One of the motto’s here at CH is ‘It’s not about me’ and it totally isn’t. It’s about giving your guests the best vacation and if that means you are up with them in the night because they need you then that’s what you need to do. It can be the kind of serving that takes a toll on your body and your spirit but it’s worth it because you are loving someone in this radical way. Each person that comes in the door is Jesus.

In the first couple days of being at CH I wondered why the Lord wants me here because all along I felt so strongly that this is where he wants me. It’s really easy to want to quit when things don’t feel safe or in your control and you feel so inadequate but that is when you remember that it’s not in your own strength that you can do things but in the Lord’s strength. I am not in this alone. It feels big but God is bigger and even though I feel like I have so little to offer I trust that the Lord has something in store. I want to be in the best place, in the sweet spot of God’s grace. I have said that I want to really know and trust Jesus more, I have said that I want to serve and keep growing and learning how to love people and this summer I get a chance to do that. It’s funny how sometimes we have this picture perfect idea in our minds about how some experience will be and somehow it never turns out to be that way. Sometimes being molded to be more and more like Christ hurts a little and causes you to worry and panic but you just gotta hold onto Him more tightly because you come out stronger, more loving, and with roots that go down a bit deeper.

I wonder if my heart will look a little different after this summer is over….hopefully I make it through….lol!

I have no idea what this week will hold but hopefully I will come out of it with more experience in the area of personal care =) !

Still Trusting Him,
Darc

1 Suitcase, 1 Small Tub, 1 Clean Rav and 2 Best Friends...

2008-05-26T22:18:00.007-04:00

You know those nights where you just need to write it out......all that stuff in your mind, on your heart and stuffed anywhere else.....the stuff that might just come pouring out if you let it? Tonight seems like one of those nights. I am leaving in 1 day for Christian Horizons so I am trying to do a million things to get ready. I am trying to fit all of my stuff into 1 suitcase and a small tub.....you'd think after YouthBuilders I may be better at this.....perhaps I am just out of practice. I got directions tonight.....mapped out my route.....it's a bit more complicated than I thought. I was sitting at the dinner table with my Dad going over the directions, he kept saying 'just let me show you on the map', I kept saying 'let me write it out first, then show me on the map because I can't read the map while I am driving unless I pull over and I don't want to pull over on the 401'......at one point I became a total girl and almost started crying because I am really tired and a tad bit stressed! I really appreciate my Dad for sticking it out......he's a great guy! I cleaned and washed my rav this weekend. I vacuumed and dusted it.....hmmmm that sounds like I'm cleaning a house.....anyways I put that stuff on the dash.....it makes it shine, I can't remember what it's called. I am too poor to afford a car wash so I got a bucket of water and filled it with dish soap, got a rag and scrubbed him. He looked beautiful afterwards, however Diana informed me that I should have 'shimmied him'. Hopefully together, the Rav and I, can make it safely to camp and back!

I have been speaking to the girls at youth for the month of may. Tomorrow night will be our finale of the series. We have been talking about not settling and what that means and looks like. When we settle in who we are, in not really loving who God made us, then it affects everything. We have been exploring some of the lies that we believe and how we put up walls and live in our lies and we don't let any truth get in. We've been looking at the truth of Psalm 139......5 thoughts......I am Seen, I am Knit-Together, I am Complex, I am Blessed and God Thinks About Me. It's been really challenging for me as I have been working through my preparation. On our last Tuesday together we specifically looked at the words complex and blessed. I feel really passionate about this idea of being blessed. Pslam 139 tells us that we are blessed but I believe this word is not a simple one. In 1 Corinthians 12:4-7 it talks about the different gifts that each of us have from God. The crucial part comes in verse 7 where it says that we were given these gifts for the common good, which means when we are not true to how God made us then essentially other people miss out. We were given gifts for the good of other people! So when we choose to settle to not use them then other people miss out. When I think about my life and all of the times that I have been blessed through other people I am overwhelmed. It those people would have chosen to not be true to how God made them than I would have missed out or suffered. We also talked about this idea of 'burying our gifts'. If you look at all the needs in this world and look at all the people with untapped blessing and gifts, you realize that there are some people who are burying some things! It was a great reminder and challenge for me.....perhaps it was for some of the girls as well. You don't want to BURY IT!!!!
Tomorrow night we are wrapping things up with looking at this idea of God thinking about us and how settling in who we are effects all of life.....specifically our relationships with our friends, our family, with boys and in our dreams. I feel a bit scatter brained at the moment so I pray that the Lord would just give me the ideas He wants to communicate and the frame of mind to do it in.

Last weekend was Pitch and Praise in Paris, Ontario. I had a great time, I was thoroughly exhausted afterwards but who isn't after Pitch?!? The speakers were awesome this year, the bands were great. Pillar was there this year.....I must say I love Pillar and it was their best show that I have ever been to.....they sang Smiling Down, which is one of my favourite songs. Amanda Falk was there too.....not as many people had heard about her but my brother Greg and I love her and were super stoked when we heard she was gonna be at Pitch. She sang a song and the words have stayed with me.....'I'd rather be far from anywhere with you than anywhere without you'. I love this thought. I want this to be truth for me.

Last night the girls and I had our last hang-out before I leave. Diana and I were planning on going to a worship night at a church we had never been to before but when we got there we found out it was just for youth....lol! So we decided to drive to the other side of St. Kitts to go to another church but we got there at like the closing of the service......I really think that there needs to be like a 9:00pm worship service for young adults somewhere! Anyways we decided to go to Starbucks and I wanted to go to a beach somewhere so we headed to The Beacon......a very fancy restaurant with a beautiful marina behind it. We watched the sun set and walked on the rocks and took some beautiful pics. It was such a good time.....it was our own worship time! Then we headed to the Zuidersma house to see Vick and took some fun pics with her. I was reminded last night of how blessed I am to have the best friends ever! I love them.....they bring so much joy, laughter and love to my life. Diana is leaving for Haiti in September and I don't want to think about how much I will miss her but I am so thankful to be able to do life with such amazing women of God!

This probably seems like the most random blog ever.....sorry......my thoughts are so scattered tonight.

Last thought.......today we had staff meeting....we watched one of the newest Nooma's by Rob Bell, it's called Open. It's all about prayer. It's a deep one and watching it somehow takes you to those deep places, sometimes the ones we're afraid to go. I ask a lot of questions, always have, I think I sometimes drive my parents nuts. I want to have answers to my questions. I like to get things, know why things happen the way they do. This sometimes becomes a really big stumbling block for me in my relationship with God because there are some questions that just do not have answers. My mind is too small and God is too big. It seems that the more I get to know God the less I know! It's difficult for me to trust sometimes because trusting involves saying I trust you even though you might act in a way that I don't get and that doesn't make sense to my human mind. I guess it's my point of surrender. It's one thing to say God is good when you seem to understand everything but it's another to say it even when things are cloudy. I don't want to be the type of person the sways when things get hard, I want to love God even if I don't get it all. Rob Bell talked about this idea of prayer not just changing things but prayer changing you.......this connectedness with God and with other people that prayer brings, it can change us. That's the reassuring thing.....even if I don't get it all, I am still connected with God, my heart is still his, nothing can take that away. In retrospect the things that seem so big in my life are probably just a blip on the screen, but God is still in it with me.

I am not in this alone, no matter how far away I may go.

This week I just have to make it to Paisley!

Sweet Dreams,
Darc

Hark....A new blogger has been unleashed!!!!

2008-05-08T23:33:00.008-04:00

I just wanted to share quickly about one of my best friend's new blog. Diana Wiebe will be leaving for Haiti at the end of the summer. She will be there for one year serving as a teacher. You can check our her blog at...
www.embracing-hope.blogspot.com.
Please remember her in your prayers.

Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit

A few thoughts...

2008-04-21T21:06:00.002-04:00

A few of you have watched the Starving Jesus documentary. I think there are mixed responses. I like the controversy! First of all I think it's a great documentary to get us thinking. The film seems to shift about half-way through and focus more on the struggles of the 40 day fast that these 2 guys are on. It also gives us a deeper look into some of the relational aspects of the friendship of these two guys and how they work out conflict, I found this rather intriguing. The essential message is to get off the pew and start reaching your community. I believe that this is at the core of Jesus' teaching......not so much the pew part but reaching the community, loving people, serving them. These guys are saying that the American church is lazy, maybe they are, but I live in Canada so really I can't speak about America. I think that there are lots of people who are lazy and who would rather be served than serve. I guess we all have our moments living in that mentality. However, I have had a bit of experience trying to recruit volunteers for church stuff and there are those people that serve and serve and serve and then there are those people that take and take and take and never give. I strongly believe that people need to serve. It makes them feel better about themselves and it promotes this feeling of unity, of community, of 'we're all in this together' and I think that's what the church is all about. I think it's easy to get caught up in our 'church' worlds and forget about the needs of people. This seems to be a constant challenge for me especially since I have grown up in the church and in a ministry family. We don't have to go across the world to serve. We can serve right where we are. I am blessed. I don't want that blessing to be wasted.

So do I think that the documentary is worth watching, yes, do I agree with everything in it, no, but watch it and draw your own conclusions.

I had more thoughts to share tonight but I really need to go study for my exam tomorrow.....I will write more later.

Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit

Are You Starving Jesus?

2008-04-15T18:45:00.003-04:00

I just watched an amazing documentary. It's called Starving Jesus. Here's the link...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8666536666361002682
It's all about getting outta the pew and into the community and serving. It's very thought provoking. I may blog more about it later but I gotta run!

Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit

I'm From...

2008-04-06T15:19:00.004-04:00

This is a poem I wrote for one of my classes this term....I thought I'd share it...

I'm From...

I’m from six friendly faces around the dinner table.
I’m from a canopy of dreams.
I’m from a road of changing colours and soothing breezes.
I’m from it’s tearing up my heart when I’m with you.
I’m from 3 steps to church on Sunday.
I’m from tetherball and four square at recess.
I’m from I’m more liable to break a slate over your head carrots.
I’m from heartache at 16.
I’m from picturesque dreams of a black and white Big Ben.
I’m from the land of pretenders.
I’m from 4 walls of sunshine.
I’m from I love you never-ending.
I’m from Chesley Lake summers and cozy up beside the fire winters.
I’m from a place where I belong.

Depending on how well you know me....it could be open for interpretation =),

The Kindred Spirit

Take Everything I Am...

2008-04-03T22:17:00.005-04:00

Well it's been a long night of studying for a test I have tomorrow and I am sure it will only get worse with exams coming in two weeks! I will be glad when school is done for the year. It was a beautiful day today, I was cruising with the window down and loving it and to top it all off the Sens whipped the Leafs tonight.....8-2.....it just doesn't get any better than that! I recently got the new Starfield CD called "I Will Go" and in case you don't have it yet, I highly recommend it. I have been listening to it all day. There is one song that just really resonates with me....the words are really what I want my life to be about. I will share them with you...

I Will Go...

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the lean
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be

I will go
I will go
I will go Lord send me
To the world
To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
clay with in your hands
I will go
I will go
Send me

Let me not be blind with privilege
Give me eyes to seek the pain
Let the blessing You've poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain
Let this life be used for change

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

I love those lyrics. I am not really one of those people who has a huge desire or perhaps I don't feel a calling to go and be a missionary in a third world country (at least as of right now) but I have a huge desire to have an impact here in North America to the people around me, to the least of those. The mission field is the ground beneath my two feet...ya know. So when the song talks about the ones the world has cast aside I really want that to be the desire of my heart. Those are the people all around us who perhaps get overlooked or missed but yet have so much to offer. I have been blessed to be in a place of privilege and it is so easy to lose sight of the needs of people, of what their going through. I hope that the Lord will help me to have compassion on those people and those needs and give me eyes to see them.

Matthew 25:44 ~ Then they will reply, "Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?" And he will answer, "I assure you, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me."

I get caught up with myself, a lot. I am sure I make other people feel small sometimes and I am sure I overlook people. The very thing that this verse talks about I am guilty of. I want my life to be used for change, even if it's one life. May you give me eyes to see Lord and a heart to go where You want me to go......because I think there are lots of people here, in the Niagara Region, in Wainfleet, at Niagara College, wherever else, that feel small and insignificant and are hurting.

I hope that your prayer tonight is to be the clay within His hands,
Darc

It's that time of year again...

2008-03-31T19:41:00.003-04:00

As most of you know....PLAYOFFS are almost here....I hope you choose your team wisely! As for me....there is only ONE choice.....LETS GO SENS!!!!

And of course I will be cheering especially for Fisher.....gotta love him!

~Darc =)

It's a long one...

2008-03-30T21:08:00.007-04:00

I can't believe it's basically already April. I really have had no time to blog. I have thought about blogging......but there always seems to be something more important. However, tonight I am in the blogging mood.

Quick update on me: On Friday I met with an awesome guy who runs the Christian Horizons camp in Paisley and it is confirmed that I will be spending most of my summer there working and I am pretty pumped about it! You can check out the Christian Horizons website at http://www.christian-horizons.org. I have been pretty busy with school and youth and the kids ministry at Wainfleet BIC and of course trying to get ready for General Conference at the end of June.....these are my legitimate excuses for not blogging.....:)!

I have been reading a book called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I am only half way through it but I highly recommend it for those who like to expand their thinking. There are some really thought provoking things in it. For example:

"I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God."

"I don't have to watch the evening news to see that the world is bad, I only have to look at myself. I am not browbeating myself here; I am only saying that true change, true life-giving, God-honouring change would have to start with the individual. I was the very problem I had been protesting. I wanted to make a sign that read "I AM THE PROBLEM".

These are two statements/quotes so far in my reading that have stuck out. I love this idea about my heart engaging God....I want to understand it more, I want to know what it's like. Engaging God is the difference between religion and relationship in my opinion. It's such a passionate and fulfilling pursuit that I think so many miss out on. People miss the point. I miss the point. I hate that I miss the point. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of someone who isn't missing the point and I just want to get the point. Rob Bell talks about how everything is spiritual in one of his books. Everything is spiritual, everything. I've thought a lot about this. I see it everyday. In one of my classes we have been discussing effective communication, I sat in class and all I could think about was how these very principles are the ones that Jesus taught; everything is spiritual. What is the number one thing that most companies strive to do......serve the customer well. Servanthood....everything is spiritual. I recently stood at the ocean shore and watched the sun rise and the tide come in, I was in awe because everything is spiritual. I can't look at a human being in all our complexity without thinking that everything is spiritual. I am finding that this pursuit of Christ, of engaging God is amazing. It breathes this depth into my life that gives me purpose and this sense of passion. I don't want to lose it. I don't ever want to stop engaging God.

One of the most awesome things about everything being spiritual is that every single person is surrounded by God even if they are unaware. Perhaps this is one of the reasons I enjoy dialoguing with people about "deeper" stuff.....because most people don't naturally think about God outside of "religion" and what that looks like or what it could mean in their lives. I think people are scared to think about stuff that matters because they might have to change.

The second quote talks about how if I want true change, it has to start with me because I AM THE PROBLEM. This is a hard one to grasp.....especially since it seems to be part of our human nature to constantly blame our problems on anyone or anything else, at least it's a problem for me, maybe I'm the only one, but I doubt it. Maybe I should make a sign that says I am the problem and hang it up, just like this guy says. I don't really know what this means yet. I haven't figured it out. How do I get from admitting I am the problem to true change. What does this look like? How do I actually admit that I am the problem and mean it?

Last weekend was Easter. I love Easter. Essentially Easter is the foundational holiday of my faith. We celebrate the cross, how Jesus, this perfect guy who loved people in this radical way decided that he loved people so much that he would take on all our sins, our failures, our dirt, he would take all our crap and put it on himself so that we would have a chance to really live and to engage God. I AM THE PROBLEM. Jesus wasn't the problem. Yet he died for me because I am the problem and he wanted me to have an opportunity to experience true change. I can't comprehend this. How can someone love me this way? Sometimes I think about my life and about who I am and I am ashamed and I wonder if God really loves me as much as he says he does and maybe he would love me more if I could be better. I know the Sunday school answer....but that answer doesn't always ring true in my heart. I hear the voice of condemnation.

Today in church we talked about condemnation.....the voices that discourage us, rob us of joy and peace, hide God and leave us feeling defeated. I hear these voices a lot. I was challenged today with the thought that those voices need to be rebuked or flushed out with the un-condemning voice of Jesus.....he says you are loved, you are forgiven, your are not condemned, you are treasured, I believe in you, I am with you. Hmmmm......these are the words that I need to remember. These are the words that tell me that God loves me as much as he says he does.

So......where does this leave me tonight......after all of my ramblings......it leaves me with the reality of the cross in my life, the reality of the passionate love Jesus has for me and the reality of my desire to engage God in spite of me being the problem.

So is there anyone else out there who think they may be the problem too?
Perhaps you should think about engaging God.

Sweet dreams my friends,
The Kindred Spirit

Beautiful...

2008-03-16T16:19:00.003-04:00

This is a pic I took while I was in Myrtle Beach. It's overwhelming to stand by the ocean and reflect that the God who created all of this beauty knows my name and He loves me. Life looks a little different from that perspective!

Happy Birthday Ben...

2008-01-19T23:02:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking a lot lately. About a lot of things really. About life. I have also been reading a lot lately. C.S. Lewis seems to be quickly becoming one of my favourite authors. I think it is so important for us as humans to keep thinking about stuff, no matter what stage of life we may find ourselves in. We need to keep asking questions, keep defining who we are and what we believe and why we believe it. We need to keep changing. I am becoming convinced of this more and more everyday. I look at the world around me, I watch the news, I go to school and I come home and I wonder if there is any good left in this world because somedays it just seems like it's getting worse and worse. The standard of evil just keeps getting pushed more and more. I wonder what the 'norm' will be in 10 years from now. Lord may my light shine. It's so easy to be torn between going with the status quo and choosing to live differently. Somedays I win the battle and somedays I lose. On the days that I lose Lord, may I come on my knees again and ask for courage to live differently tomorrow. It's my battle and no one else can fight it for me. We all have our battles. The ones that we fall prey to. The sin that wages a war against our very souls and our character. This week I sang the words to a song. It's a beautiful song and I pray that these words would become my anthem, the one that stays with me always. I want these to be the words that drive me to let my light shine because this world needs a little light:

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

These words are simple but the truth in them is life changing. These are the words that make the difference. These are words of promise. Breathe them in, let them fill you up, speak them, and when you are unsure and uncertain whisper them to the deepest places of yourself and hold tightly to them.

About 4 years ago my older brother Ben died. Tonight I miss him, a lot. Tonight I need to whisper those words. Tomorrow is Ben's birthday. He would have been 23. He's in heaven now and I know he doesn't want to come back but sometimes I wish he could just for one day. I have 2 younger brothers names Greg and Josh. Greg plays the guitar, sings, and writes songs among his many other talents. He recently but a poem to music which he sang for me tonight. These are the words:

Miss Me But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not for long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me but let me go.

For this is a journey
That we all must take
And each must go alone
It's all part of the master's plan
A step on the road to home

When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And hurry your sorrow in doing deeds
Miss me, but let me go.

It's beautiful. Miss me but let me go. Much easier said than done I assure you. I'm glad that the Lord walks with us through the hurts. Tomorrow is another day to celebrate Ben's life. He is a brother that I was so blessed to know and love and learn from. His legacy seems to live on in my life especially. Ben had cerebral palsy and he was severely disabled. Ben is the reason that I want to work with and love other people who have disabilities. When I talk to and hang out with people who have developmental disabilities I see a part of Ben in them. I see a part of the story of my family in them. I will forever be grateful for the gentle lessons Ben left me. Upon first glance no one would ever know the kind of influence a boy like Ben would ever have on the many people who walked in and out of his life. It's a powerful testament to the grace of God. So there is a good chance that there may be a few tears tomorrow but the tears can't drown out the joy there is in knowing Ben has been set free!

Sleep well my friends
and please never stop thinking and questioning,

The Kindred Spirit

The Absolute Truth on Christmas????

2007-12-16T10:39:00.000-05:00

It seems that every post I write begins with.....It's been a while.....lol, life gets busy and my blogging falls behind. I have some time now and I can finally find a moment to write. I am finished my first term of college and am now officially on Christmas Vacation. Right now I am sitting in my cozy house and it is a snow storm outside. This morning was supposed to be the Kids Christmas Play that we have been working on for several months but due to the weather conditions church was cancelled. Church hasn't been cancelled for 10 years!

The last few months have brought lots of craziness. I had my wisdom teeth out, which was a huge ordeal, talk about pain! Just recently my Dad slipped and fell on some black ice and smashed his elbow. He had to have surgery, it was so bad that they had to completely replace the elbow. So my poor Dad is recovering and my wonderful mother is trying to take care of him....just in time for the holidays.

I am back working at Reitman's for the holidays, not my first pick, but I get a great discount and I can use the money. Business at the Seaway mall seems to have picked up a bit with the arrival of all the new stores. Unfortunately I seem to have noticed a common spirit among many shoppers this Christmas season: the spirit of selfishness. Perhaps it is due to phrases such as Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings and Merry X-Mas. Do people even know what they are celebrating, why they are celebrating? I was informed at work the other day that the proper phrase to use to customers is Seasons Greetings or Happy Holidays, sorry but no can do......Thank you for shopping at Reitman's and MERRY CHRISTMAS to you. What do people think Christmas is anyways.....let's break it down. CHRISTmas.....oh wow, it's not obvious at all. Could Christ really be the reason for the season? I suppose that with the enforcement of "there's no such thing as absolute truth" or "make sure you are politically correct" Christmas is just a time to give and get gifts, nothing more. It makes me sad. I was at the Great Canadian Superstore the other day and there were two women were having an argument in the parking lot, probably over a parking spot......2 grown women, it's ridiculous really. Where's the love, where's the joy? It makes me sad because people miss the point. Christmas is a celebration of Jesus. Christmas is a celebration of the freedom that can be found in Christ. Christmas is a celebration of the life that we can have. It makes me sad because when you take Jesus out of Christmas there is really nothing to celebrate. Perhaps that is part of the reason I see the emptiness in people's eyes this season; they have nothing to celebrate and deep down it's what they really need.

The 252 Basics Sunday school program that I wrote about earlier has been going awesome. This month we have been talking about peace. A few of the girls and I decorated the room, we went all out for Christmas. For the past 2 months the kids have been collecting items for "Christmas Cheer", which is a project to collect items (toys, scarfs, hats, mitts, food, etc) for needy families in our community. It has been amazing to see the kids get involved. That gives me joy. For the Christmas Eve service at my church this year one of my good friends from school is coming to spend Christmas Eve with my family and I. That gives me joy. Watching my little brother buy someone special a gift he saved for and probably can't afford just because he is driven by love.....that gives me joy. I am surrounded by these little things that fill me with joy. I wish that more people would open their hearts to some of the joy that surrounds their lives. I was at the grocery store the other day getting some milk and there was an old man standing at the door way. Beside the friendly looking gentlemen was one of those Salvation Army containers where you can drop your change. Usually I would walk past anyone like that, especially if they were ringing a bell but on this particular day the man tugged my heart and I decided to find some change for his basket. As I dropped it in the basket the man looked at me and said "God Bless You", as I walked to my car all I could think was "He already has". That man and that simple phrase blessed me and I left with a bit more joy. It's the spirit of Christmas and I absolutely refuse to be swallowed up by anything else.

Won't you do the same?

Merry CHRISTmas,
The Kindred Spirit

The Fairy Tale Thoughts On My Mind Tonight...

2007-10-28T19:50:00.000-04:00

It's been a while. It's been quite a while. Life happens, it moves and sometimes it gets busy. I find that with all of my school work and work at the church it is hard to keep up with everything including blogging. The past 2 weeks have been mid-terms so basically my life was school, study, bed.....keep on repeating that. Tomorrow I have a psychology test, which I really should be studying for....I have already studied but I need to study more. It feels like from now until Christmas break it is just non-stop tests and assignments....guess I am venting, I should stop, but isn't that part of the need to blog. I have a lot on my mind tonight.....most of which is not anything to do with psychology. I have been in school for almost 2 full months now, I like the program for the most part and I know I am in the right place, sometimes I wish that I could fast forward time so I have the knowledge and skills without having to do the whole school thing. I am not a huge school person. It helps though that I am studying something that has a greater purpose in my life. I have met some pretty cool people as well.

About 3 weeks ago I had a day surgery on my back....that was kinda tough for about a week. I have a pretty cool scar on my back though. This Friday I have to have my wisdom teeth taken out. I am pretty nervous. I have to be put to sleep for about an hour. Did I mention how nervous I am.....I am having major anxiety. It doesn't help that I have to miss a couple days of school including an exam. I am really big on not missing class so this just messes with my mind. Pray for me please.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a Jeremy Camp concert and a band named Mainstay was there as well. It was amazing. It was such an encouragement to me. One thing that was so cool for me was to see that there are christian guys out there who are actually passionate about their faith. I feel like I am surrounded with people who just don't care. I meet so many Christians who say one thing and do another. I sometimes wonder if there are any genuine people out there. I wonder if there are specifically genuine guys. Not the ones who are drunk on Saturday night and at church on Sunday morning. Sometimes when I think about it, it gets me down. Maybe it's because I seem to live in an area where there are not a lot of people my age, maybe that has something to do with it.

Do you ever wonder where you will be in 5 or 10 years? I do. I think about it a lot. Will I have a job that I love? Will I be in Wainfleet for the rest of my life? If not, where will I be? Will I ever meet the man of my dreams, is he out there? Will I make a new life somewhere? I am one of the those people who is really close to my family, so there is this part of me that wants to have adventures and new things and wants to dream that maybe there is a life that I will have someday that will be different from now and there is this other part of me that can't imagine being away from my family, that can't imagine being away from my church and the places that I know and have come to love. What happens to those desires? I wonder if I will someday need to force myself to do something new because if I stay then I will be playing it safe and I will miss out. I don't know. I try and take it one day at a time and trust that God will lead. It's my humaness that seems to get in the way. I think about the what ifs, I get lost in my dreams and all of the things that I hope for. What will happen if I dare to open up the deepest places in my soul to Jesus? I know I'm in the right place right now. That is so clear for me. Still I think about the future. I hope and wish and dream and pray. I want to have a life full of purpose and live it passionately. I wanna be in the best place. However, sometimes the best place involves change. What will this mean? I don't know.

Perhaps it's the twenty-somethings that have unleashed these new thoughts and feelings in me. Suddenly my future is not some distant thing, it's here, it's now. I need to move my feet but I need the Lord to show me where to walk. Suddenly I almost feel different, older, maybe, wiser, maybe, a new zest for adventure.....um.....maybe......a new take on faith.....maybe......the desire to treat boys nicely.....lol.....yes......the need, not want....need for a new pair of black heels to go with my jeans....YES!!!! What is it like to not live with your parents? I mean I lived away from my family for a year but I was only 18....just a youngster....lol! Right now I think I would miss them.....a lot. What will happen, how will I change....I don't know. Will people come into my life that will make me and think....I don't know? It just seems to be the time of my life where I am thinking about all these new things as a reality instead of something far off in the distance. When you are a little girl you dream that life is like the fairy tale....one day prince charming will come and sweep you away, one day someone will look at you with those eyes and that heart and you'll just melt.....so is it wrong for me to keep holding out for a piece of that fairy tale? I don't know? I think that everyone's life needs just a little fairy tale of some sort. So I guess I'll keep trusting God and praying that he will lead me as I take these steps in my twenties. It really is fantastic, even with all of the I don't knows and uncertainties I still love it. So tonight I choose to keep hoping for a piece of the fairy tale to come one day.....maybe my prince charming is out there, maybe he'll steal my heart, maybe I'll move somewhere, maybe I won't.....maybe I'll do really well on that psych test....so I probably should continue studying and stop rambling on with these fanciful thoughts. However, every once and a while it's nice to just sit and write all of the thoughts in my head and heart that seem so stupid and unrealistic but meaningful in this moment. So here are my thoughts tonight, written out, just cause tonight I needed to release.

Anyways back to reality.....any thoughts on the psychology of sensation and perception....lol?

Sweet Dreams for all you dreamers,
The Kindred Spirit

Monday Morning.....it's COMING!!!!

2007-09-23T20:08:00.000-04:00

I think Monday is one of the hardest days of the week. It's the first day after the weekend. Monday mornings are definitely the days when you just want to keep hitting that alarm when it goes off in the morning. You have a whole week with lots to accomplish, stresses, worries, deadlines....and who knows what else could happen? You spend Sunday night dreading that monday morning. But who knows.....maybe Monday will bring something wonderful, maybe some monday I will wake up and not be tired? I will have to keep hoping for that wonderful monday. My friend Diana gave me a new personalized starbucks travel mug for my birthday.....that is one thing that may make my monday morning a little better....some tea in the new mug! It's those little things that make the difference some days. Sunday mornings are one of the most high-energy mornings ever....our new sunday school program is crazy fun, a lot of work but it is amazing. However, I do leave the church sweating buckets, ready for a nap and in need of another weekend! Perhaps that is why monday mornings seem so brutal.

Today I went to Starbucks and got my usual green tea frap....however I tried it light.....bad choice. First of all I didn't get any whipped cream and it tasted different. Different in a bad way. There is a reason most people don't get light. Light usually means that things don't taste as good. So next time I'm just getting the regular frap.....might as well pay for something delicious then pay for something light and be wishing you would have bought the regular one the whole time.

After church, before the Starbucks run, a bunch of people went to Swiss Chalet for lunch. Swiss Chalet is my favourite restaurant right? Yes. But, NOT TODAY! My potpie was burnt and half the size it's supposed to be and the waitress was the rudest waitress ever! I had to force myself to tip her because I knew it was the right thing to do....but everything inside of me screamed DON'T TIP HER! You'll be relieved to know I didn't give into those urges, but I gave her the evil eye and not impressed tone of voice. However maybe she was having a bad day and maybe she wished she could have been at church instead of working....lol......that's right, gotta think positive......try and believe the best about people.....it occasionaly helps take the edge off of the bitterness over the poor service.

I bought the new Thousand Foot Krutch cd off of itunes....haven't listened carefully to the whole thing but so far I am pretty impressed. It is called The Flame In All Of Us....check it out!

Tomorrow I have to go to the doctor's office to get my TB shot, which is a requirement for my program. I really hope it doesn't hurt. I suggested to my mom that maybe she should come with me to the doctor's just in case I am in so much pain that I can't drive home. She thinks I'll be fine. I hope she's right. Unfortunately I have to go back to the dotor's office on Wednesday as well....the TB shot is like a 2 step process.....which means I have to miss a class. I am one of those people who freaks over having to miss a class. I think to myself that I will get behind and never catch up....etc etc etc. I was the girl in highschool who never bought out of class during the buy-ins just because I could use that time to catch up on homework and have a class with very few people. Call me a dork.....I call it dedication and maybe perhaps a tad bit of analness.

I saw the movie Sydney White on Friday night.....and no that wasn't meant to rhyme. I love chick flicks. I give this movie 5 stars. 1 star for good humour. 1 star for good acting. 1 star for a good storyline. 1 star for playing the Jesse McCartney song 'Beautiful Soul', and 1 star for the lead actor being very cute. I recommend this movie if you love chick flicks.....a great date movie!

I have my first exam of the term this week. I hope I do well. These exams are all worth a chunk of my mark which puts a little more pressure on. Study Study Study!

The new season of Grey's Anatomy starts this Thursday. I was not impressed with last season. I felt like it started to become so dark. So I will watch this weeks episode to see if this season seems better.....if not.....I will have to find a new show!

Bible Study also resumes this week. We are studying the book "The Lies Women Believe".....it is sooo good! It seems kind of humourous that I have to rush home from bible study to catch Grey's.....any other Grey's fans out there?

Well I guess I should start preparing for Monday morning. I hope this Sunday evening finds you all well. I hope even more that Monday morning finds you well. Maybe you can join with me in praying as you wake up tomorrow morning and start a new week, "Lord, I just can't do this day without you....come with me every step, every road, every hall, every classroom, it just doesn't make sense without you".

Blessings,
Darc

Welcome to the Twenty-Somethings...

2007-09-19T20:16:00.000-04:00

Wow....looking at those pics below from my tropical vacation.....it seems like forever ago! Well I have started school....thus the reason for the lack of blogging! It's interesting....the world of college I mean. I must say I feel like the only christian in the whole place! I like learning about things that I am intersted in though. Everything is group work, which sometimes is frustrating but a constant thing I need to surrender to the Lord. I have met some cool people. Friday is my birthday.....I am quite excited. Tomorrow is my last day of being a teenager. I don't exactly know what to feel. I will never be a teenager again. Never be classified as a teen. Will I feel like I am too old to buy those teen magazines....lol....not that I do that often. I am no longer in those teen statistics. Some people struggle with the 20th birthday. I am excited.....it's like a new chapter. The chapter of adolesence.....I will be in my twenty's! Just saying it sounds crazy. There is potential to graduate, get a new job, get married, have children, move out of my parent's house.....lol....not all in that order.....but these are all potential things for the 20 somethings. Scary? Yes, it is. There is potential for joy and disappointment. Lord, I give you these 20 somethings! I think I am ready, I mean I am not sure how ready you can be, but I feel ready to be 20. So any advice for the 20's.....how were/are your 20's....I would be fascinated to hear from you!

I should head to bed....back to school in the morning....lol,
The Kindred Spirit

I Wish...

2007-09-19T20:14:00.000-04:00

There's nothing like a beach wedding to leave you with more dreams for the future...

2007-09-01T23:39:00.000-04:00

This time last week I was in Myrtle Beach enjoying the sound and feel of the ocean. One of our friends, Katie Hamilton, was getting married. The wedding was beautiful, she was a gorgeous bride. I love weddings. I have never been to a beach wedding before. We took a few extra days and vacationed. The whole time I felt like I was living a dream. Laying by the pool, swimming in the ocean, not doing any work, late night cruises, shopping....it was wonderful. The only other thing that would have made it perfect would have been the man of my dreams holding my hand as I walked the beach.....lol.....maybe one day. Here are a few pics from the trip....

These are just a few teasers....let me know if you want to see more. So the trip was great except for our van breaking down on the way there and so it took us 22 hours to get there! Then on the way home our van wasn't fixed on time, so it took us 23 hours to get home and yes we drove straight through! My poor Dad had to stop a few times to catch a few winks of sleep....he did such a great job though. We were all pretty tired when we got home. I find it a bit difficult to get back into the swing of things after such a relaxing vacation. But life can't be all play, there has to be some work too....so this week it's back to school for me. I am a bit nervous and excited and everything in between! Plus 2:52 Basics (our new Sunday school program) starts next Sunday. The fall is bringing some craziness but I don't mind, it does make life interesting! I continue to pray that the Lord would just continue to weave his blessing and guidance into everything! Anyways I better head to bed, I will write more later.

Sweet Dreams,
The Kindred Spirit

Farewell Reitman's, So Long 50% Discount...

2007-08-18T23:53:00.000-04:00

Today was a bitter-sweet day. It was my last official shift at Reitman's. For the past year retail has been my 'pay my way for school' job. I have enjoyed working there, being in the mall, buying clothes with a sweet discount. However, I have learned that the way of sales is just not for me. I hate selling, I hate the pressure of forcing people to consider spending more money that they probably could be putting to better use! In my heart of hearts I am just not a sales girl, although many of you would probably beg to differ....sorry for those of you who I upsold! Today was a great last day, it was busy, I worked with a great team and I think that provided good closure. So for those of you who occasionaly make special trips to visit me at the store I would like to inform you that I am now just another shopper just like you. For those of you who avoid Reitman's while I am working so I don't try and upsale you, the coast is now clear, you can shop again! I will still be available if any of you need a fashion consultant. In other news I learned that my dear friend and sister BJ, most of you will know her as my YouthBuilder teammate is also a fellow blogger, I linked her site on my favourite links. As she would say "y'all better check it out"! This evening Diana and I made our third trip to starbucks this week. We figure since I am going to be in Myrtle Beach for a wedding for 5 days we better get as many trips as possible in. Tonight we scored the really comfy couches, so we took advantage of the comfort and wonderful atmoshpere and talked the night away. That has become one of my favourite things to do. Go to Starbucks with some close friends and just talk. Diana and I often play the question game. We take turns asking each other questions about everything, one topic leads to another and we find ourselves in the most fascinating discussion ever. I highly recomend it. We also made a random trip to Gateway Niagara just because we felt like a late night cruise. To make things even more random we bought matching sweaters from 'The Great Canadian Superstore', who knew they sold clothing! For the record we only bought matching sweaters because we both loved the same sweater and the other colours it came in were just not very appealing! Oh it is wonderful to have friends who you can feel so free to be yourself with and have a blast! Well it's getting late and I should head to bed, tomorrow morning will probably come too soon. I am glad to have a place to write, there is something about writing your thoughts out that is like a release. Whether it is my deepest thoughts to my thoughts like today, I love it. Thanks for reading! (oh and for the record the picture shown is actually of my Reitman's store at the seaway mall =) )

Sweet Dreams,
Darc

I Want To Be Your Last First Kiss...

2007-08-16T22:51:00.000-04:00

Recently I have become an Anberlin fan.
Their newest CD entitled Cities is awesome.
I have been thinking and loving the words to one of their songs in particular called Inevitable.
These are the lyrics...

Inevitable by Anberlin

Do you remember when we were just kids,
and cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss?
School yard conversations taken to heart,
and laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not.

I want to break every clock.
the hands of time could never move again.
We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives.
Is it over now hey, hey is it over now?
I want to be your last first kiss
that you'll ever have.
I want to be your last first kiss.

Amazing how life turns out, the way that it does.
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love.

I want to break every clock.
the hands of time could never move again.
We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives.
Is it over now hey, hey is it over now?
I want to be your last first kiss
that you'll ever have.
I want to be your last first kiss.

Is it over now hey, hey is it over now?
Is it over now hey, hey it's not over now.
I want to be your last first kiss
that you'll ever have.
I want to be your last first love
that you'll ever have.
Lying here beside me, palms and eyes open wide,
I want to be your last first kiss
for all time

That one line gets me every time, I want to be your last first kiss. For a moment, stop and think about some of the simple things that are so beautiful that people take for granted and miss the beauty in. Like a kiss. I hear so many young people talking about "going all the way" before they're married or I watch people make public displays of themselves in public with another person and I think they have missed the beauty of the kiss. I hope I never forget the beauty in the simple things. I hope that there is someone worth that last first kiss.

Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit, the romantic

Despite All, I Am Seen By God....

2007-08-15T21:35:00.000-04:00

I suppose you think that I am slacking on my writing. I am. I'm sorry for those who actually take the time to read the random thoughts of my life. This summer has been the craziest summer and I feel like it is almost a blur. This past weekend I was at a young adults conference in PA called 'The Call'. I have to say I had great expectations of this conference. I guess I hoped to leave feeling encouraged and inspired in my faith. I left feeling discouraged and somewhat confused. I have taken the past few days to mull over in my mind just what didn't sit right with me about it all. I guess I should explain a few things to begin with. There were some great parts of the weekend. I really enjoyed meeting with other brothers and sisters in Christ from around the BIC and it was great being able to spend time meeting new people and being blessed by them. Over the past few weeks I have been struggling with some issues. Deeper than the average 20 year old. Issues with how the world works, with justice, with God's sovereignty. To most of my questions there really are no solid answers. Many people have theories and personal convictions but those things all fall in their exegesis and I am left to hear what they say and figure out my own. Somewhere in my mind I went into this weekend desiring for God to just remind me that even though I am struggling with these things it's ok. There is much emphasis in the Christian faith put on the "feelings" of the faith. People come out of an amazing retreat, or concert or conference with an emotional high and for the next week or two or maybe even a month are excited and passionate for God and after that time they feel discouraged because the feeling is gone and therefore the Lord is too. I am an emotional person. I feel things deeply. However, I want my faith to be more. I want to be able to love God and trust him without the feelings. I have prayed this in the past. Clearly the Lord is honoring that prayer. I went into a weekend full of the "emotional" emphasis. I looked around me and saw the Lord working in people's lives and from what I saw He seemed to be speaking to many people. I didn't feel that emotional high. I wasn't experiencing "The Call". So for the weekend I made myself believe that God must be angry with me for struggling and therefore he must not be speaking to me. It's rather silly now that I think about it. I came home, sat on my bed with my mom and cried because from the depths of my heart I felt so unloved and overlooked because I wasn't experiencing God the way I was led to believe I should be. Now after a few days of process and wise counsel I have come to a few new conclusions. First of all I serve a God who is huge and able to meet with people in different ways. I would never want to say that because I struggled with some of the stuff happening that God wasn't working. I believe that God was at work in many hearts in many different ways. I am now reminded that God is just as real to me without all of those feelings. Feelings come and go like the wind, I want something deeper. Something that leaves a mark on my very soul, something whose roots go down deep. I am sure that someday I will go to another event and maybe I will "feel" God in another way. I am also reminded that when we are walking with the Lord and seeking him, we are already in his will and he doesn't always need to get our attention in a big way because he already has it. I don't think I really agree with the idea of "The Call" either. It makes it sound like there is one call, if they are talking about following Jesus then I agree but if they are talking about life then I disagree. I think life is a journey, we grow and change and make mistakes and fall and get back up again. As we change often the things we are called to or our circumstances change as well. Life would be boring if there was only one call. I guess the weekend has taught me more than I thought it did. I was reminded of what my faith shouldn't be rooted in, my feelings. I was reminded of my heart for the people living their everyday lives to know Jesus. I was left energized to continue my work in children's ministry. I met some wonderful new friends and now would really like to learn Spanish so I can speak with my Latin friends. I got to see my friend Freddie Colloca and his band lead worship, which was awesome. I suppose that is the wonderful thing about process, you are able to look at something for what it's worth, take the good and leave the bad. Anyways I would like to encourage you if you are reading this today that you are so deeply loved by God, no matter how you experience him. He sees you and does not overlook you. In Zephania it talks about how the Lord sings over you.....I love singing, even though I make a joyful noise, and it gives me great joy, I imagine it gives the Lord great joy was well. I also want to encourage you in whatever you are doing. You don't have to be a missionary overseas to be doing the Lord' most important work, maybe you are a teacher paying special attention to the kid everyone picks on, maybe you work with youth who are dirt poor, maybe you are an eye doctor or a janitor or maybe you are a writer or a singer or an actor or maybe you're a mom or dad and you love God and want to serve him....those are all jobs that when from the Lord are a most high calling. The Lord sees you wherever you are and he thinks you are wonderful. Remember that today.

Blessings,
The Kindred Spirit

Beware of Hair Straighteners on the Floor...

2007-08-02T23:20:00.000-04:00

Well to say the least, this has been a busy week. So much to do, can you believe it is already August! I am heading back to Chesley Lake for a few days on Saturday....that is hopefully, if my work schedule permits it. I am looking forward to that. I will probably have to make both trips, there and back, alone, just me and my rav. The 4 hour drive hopefully will only take me 4 hours if I don't get lost and if traffic is good. I better load some sweet tunes onto the ipod! An interesting and not so lovely thing happened to me yesterday. I know that you will probably laugh at me when I share this. I burned my foot yesterday morning. Then proceeded to soak it in cold water, put Rollies salve on it and call my mom so see what steps I should do next to ease the throbbing of my baby toe. She said I should put frozen vegetables on it for most of the day. So I headed to the freezer in search of the frozen veggies. My close friend yesterday was a bag of frozen yellow corn, may I add it wasn't so frozen by the end of the day. You may ask what is funny about this and may cause laughter. Perhaps you should ask me how I burned my foot? Well before I went in the shower yesterday morning I turned on my hair straightener to heat it up and I laid it on the floor so it wouldn't burn my sheets if I put it on my bed. At that point there were several things lying on my floor since I was rounding up items for the laundry, I forgot about the straightener and stepped on it. Somehow I managed to get my foot right between the hot plates. One of the guys I work with mentioned that it was pretty impressive that I managed to strategically place my foot between the two hot metal plates, I wasn't so ammused. Anyways so I brought my frozen corn to the office with me to help ease the pain. Fortunately it was just a little burn so by evening I was feeling much better. I suppose it was a lot of fuss for a little burn but it did hurt for a while. That will teach me to lay the straightener on the floor where someone, most likely being me, can step on it! In other news it has been very very very hot lately. Almost unbearable to be outdoors. I do love the outdoors but in this heat you break a sweat standing still! Which reminds me that I need to remember my fan to bring to the lake. I am one of those people who sleeps with a fan on every night in every season. There is something about the noise, it is soothing. Tomorrow is my good friend Vicki's birthday, she will be 24. So a couple of the girls are getting dressed up and taking her to dinner, it should be a great night. It's wonderful to have friends that you love, I feel so blessed and I know I am. Well I think that's all for tonight, I hope you are all doing well braving this heat!

Sleep Cool,
The Kindred Spirit

Picture of the Week...

2007-07-31T15:05:00.000-04:00

This picture just makes me laugh. Joy and I were playing ping-pong at Chesley Lake. She's looking for the ball and I have it....too funny!

Enjoy the sun,
Darc

Oh One Day To Be Married....

2007-07-30T23:21:00.000-04:00

Well....I am back from a tiny vacation and some time off from blogging. I know you all missed me so much....and I missed you all as well. The last few weeks have been insanely busy and I don't think things look like they are going to slow down any time soon. I was up at Chesley Lake for a few days a couple of weeks ago and am hoping to get up for another few days come this long weekend....if my work schedule permits it. Then I come home and it's off to Pensylvania for a weekend College and University conference for young adults interested in ministry and missions....me being the latter.....however I once heard a statement that I have adopted...."the mission field is the space between your two feet". Anyways on Saturday my family and I headed to Stratford for my cousin's wedding. We all traveled in one vehicle....something we have not done in a while...usually I drive so the 3 of us kids are not squished in the back. It was a bit of an adventure but a lot of fun as well. The wedding was beautiful, Steph is the first of the cousin's to be married....she married Greg.....I think they make a beautiful couple. I know they will be very happy together. Weddings make me so happy....it is a day that usually feels like a dream come true. At least I imagine it to be that way. Sometimes I worry that I will never find the right guy.....or that he will find me....since I am quite shy when it comes to those things, although many don't know it. I know I have to trust the Lord with my heart and that he will bring him along in his timing.....I still manage to worry a great deal over the whole thing. I suppose it is a lot of girls dream to meet the man of her dreams, get married and have a family. Those are all dreams of mine but I think somewhat more down to earth as I get older and observe what seems to work and doesn't work in a relationship. I am glad up unto this point that I have never been in a relationship. There are too many girls who think that there whole life will be fixed when she falls in love. That her man will make everything perfect and make her feel wonderful all the time. I think that this way of thinking is too much for any human being and only sets people up for relationships that fail and lack depth. I dream of being in a relationship where I can't wait to see the person just because I want to talk to him and hear what he thinks about things. I love to hear about couples who just love being together and have fun learning more about the other. I work with a girl who I think has a great marriage. She has such a deep respect for her husband, I see it in the way she talks about him. She loves to hang out with him. She gives me lots of great advice. She often tells me how much you have to work at your marriage to make it great......she really seems to live out what she says. I love to listen to the stories she tells me of all of the fun her and her husband have. It makes me look forward to one day doing life day by day with your best friend. Learning to love them completely.....to be able to see all of who they are and love them unconditionally. It's like practising loving someone everyday the way that God loves us. Whoever he is....I just keep praying for him, praying that God will weave the stories of our lives together and it will be beautiful. I pray that he would come to know and love Jesus more and more everyday. Hmmm......see.....this is what weddings do to me! Anyways so there is my rant for the evening.....I better head to bed, tomorrow I need to head to the office again.....lots to be done for the new Sunday School program we are starting in the fall called 252 Basics.....lots of recruiting to be done. If any of you out there feel the desire to serve and be blessed through this program and the kids....I would absoloutely LOVE to hear from you!

Many Blessings,
The Kindred Spirit

Wednesday night thoughts...

2007-07-11T22:52:00.001-04:00

Today was a bit cooler. It was nice. I love the warm weather but it is nice to have a day where it isn't sweltering. I worked at the mall today, it was a good day. Tonight we had our second sunday school meeting to get ready for the new program starting in september. I am really excited about the program. We just keep praying that God will place a passion for serving on people's hearts. I trust that He will give us the people that we need. Yesterday was very hot. While I was working at the mall I was making small talk to a woman while she was checking out at the cash register. I was comenting on how hot the day was, the women's reply made me think for the rest of the afternoon. She said "yah, it's like hell out there". Hmmm....it's like hell out there. I wanted to say I don't think you know what hell is like. It reminds me of that saying that earth is the only hell some will know and the only heaven others will know. I guess for that woman's sake and for anyone's sake I guess I should hope it is like hell out there and that she won't ever have to experience what hell is like. Some of the people that come into the store say very interesting things. Tomorrow morning Josh and I are up and at it again....we are babysitting Ron and Renee's 3 beautiful girls. They have so much energy and passion....I love it!!!! I will need to remind myself of this when my alarm goes off in the morning. I guess that's all for tonight.

Sleep well my friends,
The Kindred Spirit

A Blah of a day...

2007-07-09T14:29:00.000-04:00

Today is a blah day. You know those days where the sun is shining but you just don't feel like its sunny. You feel like the clouds should be out or it should be raining. Today I feel sad. In yesterday's blog I said that I thought that I would sleep great last night....I was wrong to say the least. I had a horrible sleep last night and there wasn't much sleeping. For some reason I couldn't sleep because I was afraid and my heart was racing. That kind of thing doesn't happen to me very often. Usually before I go to sleep I think about all of the events of the day and of the next day and go over every detail that I can remember. Things bother me at night because I analyze it all in my mind. Last night I kept having memories of scary things and I just couldn't find a thought of peace to lull me to sleep. This morning Josh and I were up early to babysit. This afternoon I am working at the office. So perhaps today is a blah day because I feel tired. Nothing ever seems right when I am too tired. Things bug me, my temper is quicker and I just can't be content. I am on call to work at the mall tonight but I kind of hope I don't have to go in but I really should want to because I need the money! Usually I get called in when I don't want to be and I don't get called in when I want to be....funny how that works. I guess I will find out later. Today is also hot....actually I think hot doesn't even describe the weather.....extremely hot and humid would be a better description. We have a new air conditioner upstairs in our house....I am so thankful for that. Anyways I hope your day is less blah than mine!

Blessings,
Darc