It's almost here. The most dreaded day of the year for single girls desiring marriage everywhere. Yes, it's Valentine's Day. The day of love....blah blah blah. I rarely, actually pretty much never blog about my singleness but tonight I feel a little bit brave. Tonight I'm going to do it. I'm taking a deep breath.....and here I go....
I'm 22, out in the working world and single. I've never dated anyone and I'm still holding out for my first kiss. I've had 3 major crushes in my life, one of them being Mike Fisher, and yes it's the same Mike Fisher that just got engaged to Carrie Underwood. Most people would think 22....you're just a young thing and I am but it doesn't feel so young in this country town that I live in. The norm here is to be married by 21 or at least be seriously dating by then, which makes me sometimes feel like the odd one out. Even if no one thinks it, I feel like they think it. Sometimes I feel less, which is quite ridiculous and not true but still that feeling is there.
One of the biggest desires in my heart is to one day be married. I believe it's a God given desire. One girl that I respect once wrote that the longing is not desperation, it's design. When I first read this I felt understood, I felt like I had just read truth, I wanted to shout it out to all of the people who need to hear it most....perhaps you know who you are! That feeling in the pit of my stomach and that ache in my heart when I attend a wedding (not because I'm not happy for the couple) is design, not desperation, design.
It's funny the things coupled people say when talking about relationships to the singles....things like "oh it will come when you least expect it" or "when you stop thinking about it then it will happen". I usually find myself responding in my head by saying "well when it's a huge desire in your heart and you live in the town of coupledom would you like to tell me how the heck you just stop thinking about it?" One day when I've moved out of singleland, I vow to never tell someone that.
I think I've been learning a lot about relationships while being single. I've been watching and listening and I believe that with each day that passes I feel more equipped to actually be in a relationship. The truth of the matter is that my singleness is a gift and one that I have finally realized I don't want to waste. I know there is purpose in this stage and I want to learn how to be the best me alone so one day I know how to be the best me with someone else.
I'm holding out for a special guy who I know God has for me. I pray for him regularly and while God's working on his heart, He's also working on mine. And let me tell you one thing, when I meet him....I am gonna give him some serious LOVIN!!!!
So for all my single ladies out there waiting for some special guy to put a ring on it.....remember that your singleness is a GIFT! Even though the ache is still there enjoy this time.....seize the days of singleness, pray for your man and don't settle! That feeling in your gut is not desperation, it's design!
You're not alone in the waiting!
So Happy Valentine's Day to my fellow girls who are waiting for Mr. Right.....get your single ladies together and head out on the town for a night of celebration for the woman God has made you and to the woman you're becoming.
Cheers to Love and to the God who is love and made you to love and wants you to experience it at it's best.
Keep holding on.
With LOVE,
~The Kindred Spirit
