The one and only
year that I went to a Christian school was my grade eight year. I had a
fantastic, young and passionate teacher. I still remember when one morning
during devotions she talked to us about waiting. She used this Kleenex box demonstration,
in which the Kleenex box represented her heart. Every time she dated a guy she
gave away pieces of herself (her heart) to him. So my teacher went around to
different boys in the classroom and would put piles of Kleenex on their desks
that represented how much of herself she gave to each guy (for illustrative purposes).
When she finally met the one she wanted to marry and give herself fully to, she
couldn’t, because her Kleenex box was empty. She had given so much of herself
to the other guys she had been with that she could not give her whole self to
the one she was now going to marry.
I’ve never ever
forgotten this illustration. In fact, I even used it once when I was speaking a
few years ago to a group of Jr. High students about dating.
Moving up a few
years…when I was 16 the song ‘Wait for me’ by Rebecca St. James was my anthem
and Rebecca was my role model. She was the beautiful girl faithfully waiting to
meet her husband, the one God had chosen for her.
A few years
after that I was given the book ‘When God Writes Your Love Story’, that I read
with high hopes. I can’t remember if I finished it, but I got the just.
I grew up in a
family and in a youth group where I was always encouraged to wait.
Wait for what
you might ask?
Yes, wait to
have sex until I get married…
But not just
that!
For me waiting
has always been about so much more than that.
Waiting has
meant a commitment to personal and spiritual growth. It’s meant learning to
trust God. Waiting has made me deeper. It’s been the struggle that I go to bed
with at night and wake up with in the morning.
I am a lover of
Anne of Green Gables, Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility. If you
know me well, then you know I often refer to my future husband as “my Gilbert”.
My movie case is full of love stories.
When I meet
people, I always ask them how they met, how they came to love one another and
of course, how how he purposed. I love to hear the stories. They move me, they
give me hope and they remind me that God is really good at writing love
stories.
You see, I’ve
been praying for my future husband since I was a little girl. I pray
specifically for his life, for the kind of man that he’s becoming, for the
choices he is making, and that he will be able to wait.
A few years ago
I was having coffee with a good friend. She got married in her late 20’s and
she dated a few guys before she met the one she would marry. The advice she
gave me that day has never left me since. She said that she wished she would
have prayed early on that she would be able to just meet and date her husband
because she had regrets from her other relationships. In a lot of ways, that’s
become my prayer. That I would be able to wait for the right person, not giving
pieces of myself away to the wrong person.
In a world where
waiting has become overrated, where marriages are ending left and right and
where having friends with benefits is common, some may think that this idea of
waiting is rather silly.
However, I can’t
think of something more beautiful, to be able to say to someone someday that
I’ve been praying for your life for so many years. I wonder what would it feel
like if someone said that to me? The days that seemed long and hard and lonely
might be forgotten in that moment.
You see, I think
learning to wait has shaped and molded the person that I am today. It has also
made me realize how much a person can change and how their ideals can change
too. The things I want in life now are not the things I wanted when I was 16,
or 20 or 23, but I couldn’t have known that then.
So yes, I watch
the love stories because they remind me to celebrate love.
And yes, I
occasionally still listen to ‘Wait for me’ by Rebecca St. James, however cheesy
it might sound.
And I think I’ll
always refer to my future husband as ‘my Gilbert’.
But for those of
you who think you are silly for waiting or you feel awkward because you are
single….please don’t. Your time of waiting will make you deeper, more ready for
what’s to come. Use this time to get to know yourself, who you are, what you
like and what you don’t like. Learn to be a good friend. Find movies with
stories that fill you up and remind you of the kind of story you’re waiting
for.
Cause the truth
is, YOU are worth waiting for!
Yours truly,
The Kindred Spirit
