The Fairy Tale Thoughts On My Mind Tonight...

It's been a while. It's been quite a while. Life happens, it moves and sometimes it gets busy. I find that with all of my school work and work at the church it is hard to keep up with everything including blogging. The past 2 weeks have been mid-terms so basically my life was school, study, bed.....keep on repeating that. Tomorrow I have a psychology test, which I really should be studying for....I have already studied but I need to study more. It feels like from now until Christmas break it is just non-stop tests and assignments....guess I am venting, I should stop, but isn't that part of the need to blog. I have a lot on my mind tonight.....most of which is not anything to do with psychology. I have been in school for almost 2 full months now, I like the program for the most part and I know I am in the right place, sometimes I wish that I could fast forward time so I have the knowledge and skills without having to do the whole school thing. I am not a huge school person. It helps though that I am studying something that has a greater purpose in my life. I have met some pretty cool people as well.

About 3 weeks ago I had a day surgery on my back....that was kinda tough for about a week. I have a pretty cool scar on my back though. This Friday I have to have my wisdom teeth taken out. I am pretty nervous. I have to be put to sleep for about an hour. Did I mention how nervous I am.....I am having major anxiety. It doesn't help that I have to miss a couple days of school including an exam. I am really big on not missing class so this just messes with my mind. Pray for me please.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a Jeremy Camp concert and a band named Mainstay was there as well. It was amazing. It was such an encouragement to me. One thing that was so cool for me was to see that there are christian guys out there who are actually passionate about their faith. I feel like I am surrounded with people who just don't care. I meet so many Christians who say one thing and do another. I sometimes wonder if there are any genuine people out there. I wonder if there are specifically genuine guys. Not the ones who are drunk on Saturday night and at church on Sunday morning. Sometimes when I think about it, it gets me down. Maybe it's because I seem to live in an area where there are not a lot of people my age, maybe that has something to do with it.

Do you ever wonder where you will be in 5 or 10 years? I do. I think about it a lot. Will I have a job that I love? Will I be in Wainfleet for the rest of my life? If not, where will I be? Will I ever meet the man of my dreams, is he out there? Will I make a new life somewhere? I am one of the those people who is really close to my family, so there is this part of me that wants to have adventures and new things and wants to dream that maybe there is a life that I will have someday that will be different from now and there is this other part of me that can't imagine being away from my family, that can't imagine being away from my church and the places that I know and have come to love. What happens to those desires? I wonder if I will someday need to force myself to do something new because if I stay then I will be playing it safe and I will miss out. I don't know. I try and take it one day at a time and trust that God will lead. It's my humaness that seems to get in the way. I think about the what ifs, I get lost in my dreams and all of the things that I hope for. What will happen if I dare to open up the deepest places in my soul to Jesus? I know I'm in the right place right now. That is so clear for me. Still I think about the future. I hope and wish and dream and pray. I want to have a life full of purpose and live it passionately. I wanna be in the best place. However, sometimes the best place involves change. What will this mean? I don't know.

Perhaps it's the twenty-somethings that have unleashed these new thoughts and feelings in me. Suddenly my future is not some distant thing, it's here, it's now. I need to move my feet but I need the Lord to show me where to walk. Suddenly I almost feel different, older, maybe, wiser, maybe, a new zest for adventure.....um.....maybe......a new take on faith.....maybe......the desire to treat boys nicely.....lol.....yes......the need, not want....need for a new pair of black heels to go with my jeans....YES!!!! What is it like to not live with your parents? I mean I lived away from my family for a year but I was only 18....just a youngster....lol! Right now I think I would miss them.....a lot. What will happen, how will I change....I don't know. Will people come into my life that will make me and think....I don't know? It just seems to be the time of my life where I am thinking about all these new things as a reality instead of something far off in the distance. When you are a little girl you dream that life is like the fairy tale....one day prince charming will come and sweep you away, one day someone will look at you with those eyes and that heart and you'll just melt.....so is it wrong for me to keep holding out for a piece of that fairy tale? I don't know? I think that everyone's life needs just a little fairy tale of some sort. So I guess I'll keep trusting God and praying that he will lead me as I take these steps in my twenties. It really is fantastic, even with all of the I don't knows and uncertainties I still love it. So tonight I choose to keep hoping for a piece of the fairy tale to come one day.....maybe my prince charming is out there, maybe he'll steal my heart, maybe I'll move somewhere, maybe I won't.....maybe I'll do really well on that psych test....so I probably should continue studying and stop rambling on with these fanciful thoughts. However, every once and a while it's nice to just sit and write all of the thoughts in my head and heart that seem so stupid and unrealistic but meaningful in this moment. So here are my thoughts tonight, written out, just cause tonight I needed to release.

Anyways back to reality.....any thoughts on the psychology of sensation and perception....lol?

Sweet Dreams for all you dreamers,
The Kindred Spirit

Monday Morning.....it's COMING!!!!

I think Monday is one of the hardest days of the week. It's the first day after the weekend. Monday mornings are definitely the days when you just want to keep hitting that alarm when it goes off in the morning. You have a whole week with lots to accomplish, stresses, worries, deadlines....and who knows what else could happen? You spend Sunday night dreading that monday morning. But who knows.....maybe Monday will bring something wonderful, maybe some monday I will wake up and not be tired? I will have to keep hoping for that wonderful monday. My friend Diana gave me a new personalized starbucks travel mug for my birthday.....that is one thing that may make my monday morning a little better....some tea in the new mug! It's those little things that make the difference some days. Sunday mornings are one of the most high-energy mornings ever....our new sunday school program is crazy fun, a lot of work but it is amazing. However, I do leave the church sweating buckets, ready for a nap and in need of another weekend! Perhaps that is why monday mornings seem so brutal.

Today I went to Starbucks and got my usual green tea frap....however I tried it light.....bad choice. First of all I didn't get any whipped cream and it tasted different. Different in a bad way. There is a reason most people don't get light. Light usually means that things don't taste as good. So next time I'm just getting the regular frap.....might as well pay for something delicious then pay for something light and be wishing you would have bought the regular one the whole time.

After church, before the Starbucks run, a bunch of people went to Swiss Chalet for lunch. Swiss Chalet is my favourite restaurant right? Yes. But, NOT TODAY! My potpie was burnt and half the size it's supposed to be and the waitress was the rudest waitress ever! I had to force myself to tip her because I knew it was the right thing to do....but everything inside of me screamed DON'T TIP HER! You'll be relieved to know I didn't give into those urges, but I gave her the evil eye and not impressed tone of voice. However maybe she was having a bad day and maybe she wished she could have been at church instead of working....lol......that's right, gotta think positive......try and believe the best about people.....it occasionaly helps take the edge off of the bitterness over the poor service.

I bought the new Thousand Foot Krutch cd off of itunes....haven't listened carefully to the whole thing but so far I am pretty impressed. It is called The Flame In All Of Us....check it out!

Tomorrow I have to go to the doctor's office to get my TB shot, which is a requirement for my program. I really hope it doesn't hurt. I suggested to my mom that maybe she should come with me to the doctor's just in case I am in so much pain that I can't drive home. She thinks I'll be fine. I hope she's right. Unfortunately I have to go back to the dotor's office on Wednesday as well....the TB shot is like a 2 step process.....which means I have to miss a class. I am one of those people who freaks over having to miss a class. I think to myself that I will get behind and never catch up....etc etc etc. I was the girl in highschool who never bought out of class during the buy-ins just because I could use that time to catch up on homework and have a class with very few people. Call me a dork.....I call it dedication and maybe perhaps a tad bit of analness.

I saw the movie Sydney White on Friday night.....and no that wasn't meant to rhyme. I love chick flicks. I give this movie 5 stars. 1 star for good humour. 1 star for good acting. 1 star for a good storyline. 1 star for playing the Jesse McCartney song 'Beautiful Soul', and 1 star for the lead actor being very cute. I recommend this movie if you love chick flicks.....a great date movie!

I have my first exam of the term this week. I hope I do well. These exams are all worth a chunk of my mark which puts a little more pressure on. Study Study Study!

The new season of Grey's Anatomy starts this Thursday. I was not impressed with last season. I felt like it started to become so dark. So I will watch this weeks episode to see if this season seems better.....if not.....I will have to find a new show!

Bible Study also resumes this week. We are studying the book "The Lies Women Believe".....it is sooo good! It seems kind of humourous that I have to rush home from bible study to catch Grey's.....any other Grey's fans out there?

Well I guess I should start preparing for Monday morning. I hope this Sunday evening finds you all well. I hope even more that Monday morning finds you well. Maybe you can join with me in praying as you wake up tomorrow morning and start a new week, "Lord, I just can't do this day without you....come with me every step, every road, every hall, every classroom, it just doesn't make sense without you".

Blessings,
Darc

Welcome to the Twenty-Somethings...

Wow....looking at those pics below from my tropical vacation.....it seems like forever ago! Well I have started school....thus the reason for the lack of blogging! It's interesting....the world of college I mean. I must say I feel like the only christian in the whole place! I like learning about things that I am intersted in though. Everything is group work, which sometimes is frustrating but a constant thing I need to surrender to the Lord. I have met some cool people. Friday is my birthday.....I am quite excited. Tomorrow is my last day of being a teenager. I don't exactly know what to feel. I will never be a teenager again. Never be classified as a teen. Will I feel like I am too old to buy those teen magazines....lol....not that I do that often. I am no longer in those teen statistics. Some people struggle with the 20th birthday. I am excited.....it's like a new chapter. The chapter of adolesence.....I will be in my twenty's! Just saying it sounds crazy. There is potential to graduate, get a new job, get married, have children, move out of my parent's house.....lol....not all in that order.....but these are all potential things for the 20 somethings. Scary? Yes, it is. There is potential for joy and disappointment. Lord, I give you these 20 somethings! I think I am ready, I mean I am not sure how ready you can be, but I feel ready to be 20. So any advice for the 20's.....how were/are your 20's....I would be fascinated to hear from you!

I should head to bed....back to school in the morning....lol,
The Kindred Spirit

I Wish...

There's nothing like a beach wedding to leave you with more dreams for the future...

This time last week I was in Myrtle Beach enjoying the sound and feel of the ocean. One of our friends, Katie Hamilton, was getting married. The wedding was beautiful, she was a gorgeous bride. I love weddings. I have never been to a beach wedding before. We took a few extra days and vacationed. The whole time I felt like I was living a dream. Laying by the pool, swimming in the ocean, not doing any work, late night cruises, shopping....it was wonderful. The only other thing that would have made it perfect would have been the man of my dreams holding my hand as I walked the beach.....lol.....maybe one day. Here are a few pics from the trip....




These are just a few teasers....let me know if you want to see more. So the trip was great except for our van breaking down on the way there and so it took us 22 hours to get there! Then on the way home our van wasn't fixed on time, so it took us 23 hours to get home and yes we drove straight through! My poor Dad had to stop a few times to catch a few winks of sleep....he did such a great job though. We were all pretty tired when we got home. I find it a bit difficult to get back into the swing of things after such a relaxing vacation. But life can't be all play, there has to be some work too....so this week it's back to school for me. I am a bit nervous and excited and everything in between! Plus 2:52 Basics (our new Sunday school program) starts next Sunday. The fall is bringing some craziness but I don't mind, it does make life interesting! I continue to pray that the Lord would just continue to weave his blessing and guidance into everything! Anyways I better head to bed, I will write more later.

Sweet Dreams,
The Kindred Spirit

Farewell Reitman's, So Long 50% Discount...

Today was a bitter-sweet day. It was my last official shift at Reitman's. For the past year retail has been my 'pay my way for school' job. I have enjoyed working there, being in the mall, buying clothes with a sweet discount. However, I have learned that the way of sales is just not for me. I hate selling, I hate the pressure of forcing people to consider spending more money that they probably could be putting to better use! In my heart of hearts I am just not a sales girl, although many of you would probably beg to differ....sorry for those of you who I upsold! Today was a great last day, it was busy, I worked with a great team and I think that provided good closure. So for those of you who occasionaly make special trips to visit me at the store I would like to inform you that I am now just another shopper just like you. For those of you who avoid Reitman's while I am working so I don't try and upsale you, the coast is now clear, you can shop again! I will still be available if any of you need a fashion consultant. In other news I learned that my dear friend and sister BJ, most of you will know her as my YouthBuilder teammate is also a fellow blogger, I linked her site on my favourite links. As she would say "y'all better check it out"! This evening Diana and I made our third trip to starbucks this week. We figure since I am going to be in Myrtle Beach for a wedding for 5 days we better get as many trips as possible in. Tonight we scored the really comfy couches, so we took advantage of the comfort and wonderful atmoshpere and talked the night away. That has become one of my favourite things to do. Go to Starbucks with some close friends and just talk. Diana and I often play the question game. We take turns asking each other questions about everything, one topic leads to another and we find ourselves in the most fascinating discussion ever. I highly recomend it. We also made a random trip to Gateway Niagara just because we felt like a late night cruise. To make things even more random we bought matching sweaters from 'The Great Canadian Superstore', who knew they sold clothing! For the record we only bought matching sweaters because we both loved the same sweater and the other colours it came in were just not very appealing! Oh it is wonderful to have friends who you can feel so free to be yourself with and have a blast! Well it's getting late and I should head to bed, tomorrow morning will probably come too soon. I am glad to have a place to write, there is something about writing your thoughts out that is like a release. Whether it is my deepest thoughts to my thoughts like today, I love it. Thanks for reading! (oh and for the record the picture shown is actually of my Reitman's store at the seaway mall =) )

Sweet Dreams,
Darc

I Want To Be Your Last First Kiss...

Recently I have become an Anberlin fan.
Their newest CD entitled Cities is awesome.
I have been thinking and loving the words to one of their songs in particular called Inevitable.
These are the lyrics...







Inevitable by Anberlin

Do you remember when we were just kids,
and cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss?
School yard conversations taken to heart,
and laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not.

I want to break every clock.
the hands of time could never move again.
We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives.
Is it over now hey, hey is it over now?
I want to be your last first kiss
that you'll ever have.
I want to be your last first kiss.

Amazing how life turns out, the way that it does.
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love.

I want to break every clock.
the hands of time could never move again.
We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives.
Is it over now hey, hey is it over now?
I want to be your last first kiss
that you'll ever have.
I want to be your last first kiss.

Is it over now hey, hey is it over now?
Is it over now hey, hey it's not over now.
I want to be your last first kiss
that you'll ever have.
I want to be your last first love
that you'll ever have.
Lying here beside me, palms and eyes open wide,
I want to be your last first kiss
for all time


That one line gets me every time, I want to be your last first kiss. For a moment, stop and think about some of the simple things that are so beautiful that people take for granted and miss the beauty in. Like a kiss. I hear so many young people talking about "going all the way" before they're married or I watch people make public displays of themselves in public with another person and I think they have missed the beauty of the kiss. I hope I never forget the beauty in the simple things. I hope that there is someone worth that last first kiss.

Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit, the romantic

Despite All, I Am Seen By God....

I suppose you think that I am slacking on my writing. I am. I'm sorry for those who actually take the time to read the random thoughts of my life. This summer has been the craziest summer and I feel like it is almost a blur. This past weekend I was at a young adults conference in PA called 'The Call'. I have to say I had great expectations of this conference. I guess I hoped to leave feeling encouraged and inspired in my faith. I left feeling discouraged and somewhat confused. I have taken the past few days to mull over in my mind just what didn't sit right with me about it all. I guess I should explain a few things to begin with. There were some great parts of the weekend. I really enjoyed meeting with other brothers and sisters in Christ from around the BIC and it was great being able to spend time meeting new people and being blessed by them. Over the past few weeks I have been struggling with some issues. Deeper than the average 20 year old. Issues with how the world works, with justice, with God's sovereignty. To most of my questions there really are no solid answers. Many people have theories and personal convictions but those things all fall in their exegesis and I am left to hear what they say and figure out my own. Somewhere in my mind I went into this weekend desiring for God to just remind me that even though I am struggling with these things it's ok. There is much emphasis in the Christian faith put on the "feelings" of the faith. People come out of an amazing retreat, or concert or conference with an emotional high and for the next week or two or maybe even a month are excited and passionate for God and after that time they feel discouraged because the feeling is gone and therefore the Lord is too. I am an emotional person. I feel things deeply. However, I want my faith to be more. I want to be able to love God and trust him without the feelings. I have prayed this in the past. Clearly the Lord is honoring that prayer. I went into a weekend full of the "emotional" emphasis. I looked around me and saw the Lord working in people's lives and from what I saw He seemed to be speaking to many people. I didn't feel that emotional high. I wasn't experiencing "The Call". So for the weekend I made myself believe that God must be angry with me for struggling and therefore he must not be speaking to me. It's rather silly now that I think about it. I came home, sat on my bed with my mom and cried because from the depths of my heart I felt so unloved and overlooked because I wasn't experiencing God the way I was led to believe I should be. Now after a few days of process and wise counsel I have come to a few new conclusions. First of all I serve a God who is huge and able to meet with people in different ways. I would never want to say that because I struggled with some of the stuff happening that God wasn't working. I believe that God was at work in many hearts in many different ways. I am now reminded that God is just as real to me without all of those feelings. Feelings come and go like the wind, I want something deeper. Something that leaves a mark on my very soul, something whose roots go down deep. I am sure that someday I will go to another event and maybe I will "feel" God in another way. I am also reminded that when we are walking with the Lord and seeking him, we are already in his will and he doesn't always need to get our attention in a big way because he already has it. I don't think I really agree with the idea of "The Call" either. It makes it sound like there is one call, if they are talking about following Jesus then I agree but if they are talking about life then I disagree. I think life is a journey, we grow and change and make mistakes and fall and get back up again. As we change often the things we are called to or our circumstances change as well. Life would be boring if there was only one call. I guess the weekend has taught me more than I thought it did. I was reminded of what my faith shouldn't be rooted in, my feelings. I was reminded of my heart for the people living their everyday lives to know Jesus. I was left energized to continue my work in children's ministry. I met some wonderful new friends and now would really like to learn Spanish so I can speak with my Latin friends. I got to see my friend Freddie Colloca and his band lead worship, which was awesome. I suppose that is the wonderful thing about process, you are able to look at something for what it's worth, take the good and leave the bad. Anyways I would like to encourage you if you are reading this today that you are so deeply loved by God, no matter how you experience him. He sees you and does not overlook you. In Zephania it talks about how the Lord sings over you.....I love singing, even though I make a joyful noise, and it gives me great joy, I imagine it gives the Lord great joy was well. I also want to encourage you in whatever you are doing. You don't have to be a missionary overseas to be doing the Lord' most important work, maybe you are a teacher paying special attention to the kid everyone picks on, maybe you work with youth who are dirt poor, maybe you are an eye doctor or a janitor or maybe you are a writer or a singer or an actor or maybe you're a mom or dad and you love God and want to serve him....those are all jobs that when from the Lord are a most high calling. The Lord sees you wherever you are and he thinks you are wonderful. Remember that today.

Blessings,
The Kindred Spirit

Beware of Hair Straighteners on the Floor...

Well to say the least, this has been a busy week. So much to do, can you believe it is already August! I am heading back to Chesley Lake for a few days on Saturday....that is hopefully, if my work schedule permits it. I am looking forward to that. I will probably have to make both trips, there and back, alone, just me and my rav. The 4 hour drive hopefully will only take me 4 hours if I don't get lost and if traffic is good. I better load some sweet tunes onto the ipod! An interesting and not so lovely thing happened to me yesterday. I know that you will probably laugh at me when I share this. I burned my foot yesterday morning. Then proceeded to soak it in cold water, put Rollies salve on it and call my mom so see what steps I should do next to ease the throbbing of my baby toe. She said I should put frozen vegetables on it for most of the day. So I headed to the freezer in search of the frozen veggies. My close friend yesterday was a bag of frozen yellow corn, may I add it wasn't so frozen by the end of the day. You may ask what is funny about this and may cause laughter. Perhaps you should ask me how I burned my foot? Well before I went in the shower yesterday morning I turned on my hair straightener to heat it up and I laid it on the floor so it wouldn't burn my sheets if I put it on my bed. At that point there were several things lying on my floor since I was rounding up items for the laundry, I forgot about the straightener and stepped on it. Somehow I managed to get my foot right between the hot plates. One of the guys I work with mentioned that it was pretty impressive that I managed to strategically place my foot between the two hot metal plates, I wasn't so ammused. Anyways so I brought my frozen corn to the office with me to help ease the pain. Fortunately it was just a little burn so by evening I was feeling much better. I suppose it was a lot of fuss for a little burn but it did hurt for a while. That will teach me to lay the straightener on the floor where someone, most likely being me, can step on it! In other news it has been very very very hot lately. Almost unbearable to be outdoors. I do love the outdoors but in this heat you break a sweat standing still! Which reminds me that I need to remember my fan to bring to the lake. I am one of those people who sleeps with a fan on every night in every season. There is something about the noise, it is soothing. Tomorrow is my good friend Vicki's birthday, she will be 24. So a couple of the girls are getting dressed up and taking her to dinner, it should be a great night. It's wonderful to have friends that you love, I feel so blessed and I know I am. Well I think that's all for tonight, I hope you are all doing well braving this heat!

Sleep Cool,
The Kindred Spirit

Picture of the Week...

This picture just makes me laugh. Joy and I were playing ping-pong at Chesley Lake. She's looking for the ball and I have it....too funny!

Enjoy the sun,
Darc