Ending Is Beginning...

Is ending really beginning?

For the last 19 years I've lived in Wainfleet. I've had my childhood here. I've made some of my dearest friends here. I've moved to the highway twice and back to Perry Road three times. I've learned to drive, learned to wear jeans, learned to work, made it through Winger School, E.L. Crossley Secondary School and Niagara College and all while breathing this country air into my soul. My roots have grown deep into this place, into the fabric of life here; so much of me is woven into the people here and the experiences we've had together.

In September I'm moving to Toronto to go back to school, I've written about this previously, which means that for me this summer is one of finishing. I'm finishing a job that I've loved at a church that I've loved. I'm finishing another job at a group home full of people that I've come to love and cherish. I'm finishing being a jr. high leader to my kiddos at Port Colborne, hoping that someone will take my place and love my girls just as much as I do. And while I've felt led all along that this is the right thing, I didn't really imagine the grief that comes along with finishing, in a way, with ending.

4 and a half years ago the children's pastor at Wainfleet BIC and myself sat in an empty board room at a large table overwhelmed with the task before us; to begin something new. We wanted to start a new Sunday School program at Wainfleet, one that would be drastically different from anything done before, with new approaches, a new style and a new look. We were overwhelmed but began to put the pieces together one by one, we dreamed and brainstormed and prayed that God would give us the right people in the right places. It's been 4 years since the beginning of 252 Basics and I'm amazed at how much the program has evolved, how our team has grown and become stronger, how I've watched people serve, watched people become better leaders, give of their time, their energy, their gifts and how much those things have impacted us as a church family and impacted me individually. I'm not the same person that I was when we started 4 years ago and I wouldn't be surprised if there are others that could say the same thing. Last Sunday we had our end of year 252 Basics party and we sang and played games and ate yummy snacks and we had a sharing time where the kids could share some of their favourite 252 memories. I was amazed at how many of the kids shared memories not just from this year but some even from our very first year. At the beginning of the party I welcomed the kids and asked them if they were excited and one of the kids who I never really thought loved being there shouted out 'NOOOO'. In my head I was thinking of course we would go to all this work to plan a fun morning and first thing you shout out is that you're not excited! I said to him 'what do you mean no, this is a party', to my amazement he responded that his lack of excitement was because it was the last 252 Basics of the school year. I was shocked! This little guy's response probably will never leave me because in his one little statement I was reminded why it's all worth it. That was my last day leading 252 Basics and it was a perfect ending.

As I begin to think about not going to work at Bethesda in September and not seeing the ladies I already feel an emptiness in my stomach. As I think about not coming into the church office and having 3 hour check-ins with Renee, the children's pastor, I can already feel my heart sinking. As I think about not being at youth on Tuesday nights to hear my girls talking about their boy problems, their friend and family problems, their French work that they hate, the test they didn't study for but still fervently prayed that they would pass, and hear them laugh and giggle and brace myself for them jumping onto my back at any moment, I already miss it and it's not even gone. As I think about the wonderful childhood that I've had; waking up and walking downstairs to find my Mom in her brown rocker praying for the day, setting my alarm 5 minutes earlier so I could beat Josh into the shower, long drives with Dad talking about everything from how standard vehicles work to the theology of the church and always being able to have a good laugh with Greg, hearing Ben laugh and yell at the top of his lungs during the singing time at church, as I think about these things I realize how these moments and these memories have each ben gifts.

Someone asked me the other day if I'm planning on coming home on weekends and I realized by the tone of the conversation that they assumed that my life would still be based here but I'd just be finishing up school. This might have been the case if I'd gone straight to University after high school but I think maybe it's different because I'm a bit older now and it's time to start something new. In a way I feel like I'm leaving my childhood and beginning the next chapter. And I'm scared to death. I'm scared that it will be a mistake, that I'll get there and want to come back, that I'll wish I'd never left. It's a risk and with any risk there's always a chance of those things but there's also a chance that it will be great. That what is ahead will be worth the pain of finishing what is behind. But I'll never know if I don't take the risk.

If I'm a bit sentimental these days you'll know why. I'm recollecting 19 years of wonderful memories, I'm looking back at how much we've all changed, I'm hugging longer, taking more pictures, and maybe shedding just a few more tears. I'm trying to figure out what it means to let go without secretly holding on. And for the first time in my life if you ask me what I'm going to do when I'm done school, I'm going to tell you that I don't have a plan. I've always had a plan, it didn't always happen like I thought it would but I've always at least mapped out a few possible routes. This time I'm plan-less.

And do you know what?

It feels great.

They say that to start a new chapter you have to close the last one. I don't remember them saying too much about the ache that seems to accompany it. But in all these things I hold tightly to the promise that I go forth not alone.

And just maybe I'll find out that ending really is beginning.

Handicap Parking Bust At The Seaway Mall, Shame!

I sent this letter to the editor of a local paper earlier this week.....it was a bit of a vent....thought I'd share it. Please note my use of sarcasm in the article...

If you hail from anywhere in the Niagara region then you’ve probably chuckled at the Seaway Mall’s continuous attempts to be better, bigger and let’s be honest, to not die a slow death. Just a tip for the mall admin: you might want to rub shoulders with the city of Welland parking enforcement officers if you want a bit more business.  I’ve shopped at the Seaway Mall and heck I’ve even worked there but last Friday’s events may have just made me a permanent Pen Centre shopper.

I work for a local organization that serves individuals with mental and physical disabilities. Last Friday I took one of the individuals I work with to the movies and on a rare occasion I opted to take her to the Seaway Mall Cinema instead of the other larger theatres with more comfortable seating. The car I was driving had an up to date handicapped-parking permit displayed in the windshield as usual and so I pulled into the handicapped parking spot to give plenty of room to unload the wheelchair and make an easy transfer. After the movie I headed out to the car and while pushing the individual in the wheelchair an older gentleman that was parked beside the car approached me and pointed out the parking ticket on my windshield, puzzled as to why I would have gotten a ticket when my permit was displayed in perfect view. One might think the ticket would have only been for a mere 10 or 20 dollars but the spot checked off was for a whopping 300 dollars; the fullest amount possible!

A few days later as I stood in City Hall arguing my case to the poor woman who happened to be running the parking reinforcement desk that day, she showed me the picture that was taken of the car by the parking officer who had issued the colossal ticket. I laughed and looked at her in amazement; the only part of the permit that was not being displayed was the fine print at the bottom that was slightly difficult to see because of a small tinting line across the bottom of the windshield. The lady at the desk responded to my look of shock by adding that the parking attendant was also short. I should have asked if the parking officer was below 3 feet tall, I would have just paid the money if she said yes. Luckily the parking ticket was forgiven (thank goodness for my yearly forgiveness card).

The ticket is not the point, we all get tickets for things we do or don’t deserve. Perhaps the point is that while one anal individual signs their name, making their daily ticket quota, another individual looks at the ticket and wonders why it can’t ever be easy? Really it’s not as if a person with a disability does not have enough to overcome, why don’t you just add an extra $300 and a whole lot of hassle onto their all ready too heavy load? Or why don’t you penalize the support worker because they were too busy taking care of someone, making sure they were fully supported and safe that they forgot to check to make sure the small print on the permit was over the tint line, shoot!  Are we creating a society that thinks empathetically, I’m not so sure? But I am sure of one thing, next time I head on an outing to the movies, I won’t be choosing the Seaway Mall. One more thing, maybe the city of Welland should implement a new regulation that says parking officers must be over 3 feet tall, might save the Seaway Mall another store?

A little Jr. High Spice of Life...

Over the last two years I have fallen in love with Jr. High Students. I didn’t expect it. It was one of those answers to my prayers; one of those answers that I thought would look a lot differently.

Two years ago I began praying for new friendships, for something different to be a part of, something new. I thought that if God chose to work this out in my life then it would come in the form of some new people I would meet that would introduce me to new people and so on, all people my age or older. Clearly, my thinking was inside the lines.

Two years ago a friend of mine moved to the area to take on the role of the Youth Pastor at a nearby church. He needed some female leaders and so I said I would come out, unsure of the time commitment I would be able to make due to working shift work. I started going to the weekly youth night regularly and began trying to build some friendships with the kids. The youth pastor had gotten together a team of young adults to lead the program, only a few of us actually knowing each other. After youth every week we would head to Tim Hortons to hang out and talk about the night. Those first few meetings were a bit awkward, as we didn’t really know each other too well.  

It’s funny as I reflect on those first few weeks now…..it’s funny because I didn’t know then that…

…That team of young adult leaders would become my close friends, an unexpected community. We laugh with and at each other, we miss one another when one of us is absent, we see the gifts we each have to offer and we pray for each other’s needs.

…I never thought that I would love the kids as much as I do. My small group of girls have absolutely stolen my heart and I can’t get enough of these ladies….they’re spunk, energy, and passion for life is contagious! They bring out the best in me, they remind me what really matters and they never neglect to speak it like it is, which can be challenging sometimes but it brings this realness that we don’t always get with adults.

…Tuesday nights (jr. high youth night) would become my favourite night of the week!

…I never expected that I would get the blessing of being able to speak into some of these kids’ lives. I didn’t think they would share their stories with all their hurts and their joys and their young emotions with me. I didn’t think they would bring their toughest questions to me. I didn’t think that I would get to witness them learning to pray and learning that God cares about ‘their stuff’.

I didn’t expect that a bunch of jr. high students and a few leaders would be the answer to my prayer.

Even more, I didn’t expect that they’d far exceed my prayer.

And I am reminded in these moments of reflection that God does know best, that His plans for me are better than my plans for me and that He has better ways for me to use the gifts He’s given me than I could think of myself.

And sometimes I forget these things.

But I see this...

And this...

And this...

And this too...

And I get yet another glimpse of the GOOD things God can bring into your life when you ask Him and when you’re open to the possibilities He might have for you.

And it's really true,

Jr. High's really do bring some serious SPICE into your life! ;)

~Darc 

A Complete Write-Off...

I had a terrible day yesterday. It was a complete write-off to my "Bring on the Laughter" post. I didn't accomplish any of my goals,

NOT

ONE

SINGLE

ONE!

I got home from work and made a bee line for my room, I thought that not talking to anyone would be the safest option since I'm pretty sure I was ready to snap at anyone who so much as looked at me.

I mean, if Jesus would have been in my room in the flesh, I think I would have snapped at him too.

Heaven forbid.

Seriously, I hate days like that.

However, I did have one bright spot. This video and I must share it with you and please, you must watch it...

Don't you just love this? I feel like I can breathe a little deeper after seeing it....one goal accomplished!

Hope your day is bright,
Darc 

Bring on the Laughter...

I’ve been reading a new book.

Ok, that’s not true.

I’ve been reading several new books.

My favourite is this one called “The Happiness Project” written by Gretchen Rubin. The book is an international bestseller and I certainly know why, it’s absolutely fantastic.

Anyways, in one of the chapters I was reading, Gretchen was writing about her goal of starting a blog. One of the tips she received about starting a blog was that you need to post on it everyday. Clearly my mind wandered to my blog and how I’m lucky if I update it once a year! Maybe it’s not that bad. I think I go in blogging spurts, like I get in a blogging phase and I just blog blog blog and then the phase ends and I take a serious blogging hiatus.

At least I’ve started to recognize the pattern of my behaviour, that’s the first step right?

Moving on…

Can you believe it’s February already? All I can say is Bring on the Spring, that and the end of the Valentines Day season!  

I feel like my mind’s been moving at the speed of light lately. So much to think about. I’m starting to get super pumped about moving to Toronto next September. In case I haven’t filled you in yet I’m going back to school next fall. I’m going to be finishing my BA in religious studies from Tyndale University College and Seminary. Yes, this country girl will be packing up and moving to the big city! You’ll for sure want to tune into the blog next fall to read up on how the transition goes. I can see it now, September’s first blog will be entitled “Darcie learns to ride a city bus”, it’s going to be EPIC!

After being inspired by a conversation I had with my Dad I decided to create a “dream journal”. Basically it is a journal where I write down short snip-its of dreams and hopes I have, things that inspire me, quotes that I love, words that move my spirit and the endless possibilities that each day can hold and each life can bring. I’ve decided I want to be the kind of person that dreams, that always looks for possibility and is determined to live the best life! That saying, I also am learning that to accomplish this requires me not just to say it but to actively choose it, which is not always so easy. I’ll let you take a brief glimpse into my dream journal and I’ll share a few quotes that have been inspiring me lately….

“If you’re going to risk and maybe fail, fail at something that matters. Fail gloriously so that even in failure, lives change.”  ~Jon Acuff

“God wants to usher us into new seasons….some of us won’t go into the new season because we don’t know how to let go of the old season.” ~Bill Hybles (paraphrase)

“Whatever it is that we are hanging onto that keeps us from the life that God wants us to live becomes sin….it keeps us from living fully alive, it is baggage that we need to drop, it is baggage we need to let go of. ~Ken Davis

“It’s easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” ~G.K. Chesterton

I love that last one. I’m notorious for taking myself too seriously, I’m trying to change this but like it says, it’s hard to be light! So I figure perhaps I should make a list of how I can work at being light…this is what I got so far….feel free to add to it…

·     -Laugh More.

-Think about positive things.

-Try to banish guilt.

-Think about 3 things I’m grateful for each day.

-Cut people some slack.

-Dance.

-Break a rule.

-Give someone a hug lasting at least 6 seconds at least once a day. (6 seconds is the minimum time necessary to promote the flow of oxytocin and serotonin, mood-boosting chemicals that promote bonding)

-Breathe deep.

    

     It’s a list in progress. The big thing I’m realizing is that

LIFE IS A GIFT

…and I don’t want to waste it. I want to take it and live it for all it’s worth and I don’t want to look back and wish I didn’t settle for something less that what could have been.

It’s a bit of a mind and heart shift, one that I’m learning and one I think you should think about learning too!

Well that’s enough ranting for now.

I’ll work on blogging a bit more frequently…it’s a good goal.

Sweet Dreams,

The Kindred Spirit

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'Tis the Season to be JOLLY!!!!

After a brief blogging hiatus, to which I’m sure my millions of readers where deeply saddened (please note the SARCASM), I’d like to personally tell you that I’M BACK BABY, I’M BACK!!!!

‘Tis the season to be JOLLY and there’s plenty to be jolly about. Let me show you what I love most about this season….

This

And This

And that right there

Oh and this too!

And I can't forget my annual Christmas pic....here's one right here...

...So since Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year, I thought I’d better share some of my favourite things….

#1 ~ Peppermint Mocha Frappacino’s at Starbucks (this is the only time of the year where they’ll put the    

        chocolate shavings on the top).

#2 ~ Getting to bust out my very best winter scarves.

#3 ~ The pond being frozen, it’s pond hockey time!

#4 ~ Getting dressed up for Christmas parties.

#5 ~ Having a legit excuse to eat so many yummy goodies! ;)

#6 ~ Watching Christmas specials on tv with the fam, while cuddled in a blanket on the couch.

#7 ~ The streets lit up from Christmas lights.

#8 ~ Christmas Music….I LOVE it!!!!

#9 ~ Giving and getting gifts (Giving gifts is my expressive love language but it’s fun to get them too)!

#10 ~ The smell and twinkle of our REAL Christmas tree in the living room, there’s nothing better!

So there’s just a few of my holiday favourites.

Hope you’re enjoying your favourite things this holiday season!

We have much reason to celebrate,

~The Kindred Spirit

Only Part Of The Story...

I’m sitting here at the airport in Port Au Prince, Haiti. I arrived here quite a bit early so I have some time to sit here and think. It seems I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. I woke up early this morning and it seems that before the sun even rose I knew that the word for this day would be bittersweet. I have been here in Haiti for almost 2 weeks and in that short time I’ve been moved beyond words. Now it’s time to go back home for a while, which is sweet in every way but also a bit sad because I will miss the people that I have grown to love in such a short time.

Tonight I will arrive back in Canada. The cold air will welcome me. The Christmas lights will twinkle hello as I pass them by, reminding me of the quickly approaching celebration. I will not be in the minority any more and I will understand the words people are speaking around me. I will return to a country of order where you must have a seatbelt if you are riding in a car, the price on something to be purchased is set, not bartered and I must travel a great distance to see beautiful mountains.

As I traveled the Haitian roads this morning for the last time, for a while at least, I tried to take in everything I saw, every person, every glimpse of the homes, of the vehicles, of the mountains and the sea because I never want to forget it. I never want to forget that there is another part of the story. That my home and the places I know and the faces I see every day and the way we live is not the whole story. There is another part and God knows it, He created it and He cares for it. I want to celebrate that my part of the story is only a very miniscule piece of the puzzle. I want to celebrate that there is a big world out there and it breaks down every wall of my box. It breaks down every thought I have about how I think things should be and it challenges the boundaries of my faith.

I was talking with one of the Haitians a few days ago, someone who has become my friend and I asked him why he loved Haiti? In the few English words he knew, he replied, “because I am Haitian”. I think for a long time I thought that my way of life was what everyone needs, what everyone should want and that thought too has been challenged during my time here. The people here love their country and they care for one another and they don’t NEED my way of life. My way is not better or the way it should be, my way of life is simply different, it’s just one part of the story. So, Lord please forgive me for thinking that I know better, for thinking that my way is better, rid me of thinking or even acting that I am and my way is superior. I wonder what would happen if I loved Canada and it’s people like my friend loves Haiti? I wonder what would happen if we as Canadians prayed for our country like the people at the Church of Hope pray for their country? I have a lot to learn from the people here.

I hope that someday I’ll be able to return to Haiti but until then I have a million memories that leave me with feelings of the best kind of nostalgia. I will cherish these and treasure them in my heart without fail.

Haiti has been one of the sweetest gifts, one that will always captivate a piece of my heart.

And today, throughout the tangled web of my feelings I think the biggest one I feel is thanksgiving. There is so much I have to be thankful for and for right now it’s the one I’m going to revel in because the other stuff will unravel itself with time.

So thank you for your prayers and your thoughts especially over the past 2 weeks, it’s been an incredible adventure and I look forward to many more to come!

Blessings on you today,

~Darcie 

Greetings From Haiti...

Well I made it safely to Haiti last week and I am experiencing so much. I just did a guest spot on Diana's blog where I write a bit about my experience thus far. Please check it out here! 

More to come soon!

I appreciate all of your prayers.

Love, 

Darcie

A Short Little Update From Moi...

Oh wow.....these past few weeks seem to have been the busiest EVER!!!!!!

First of all I moved....again, yes I know!

But I just moved down the road....it's a lovely house. I had a bit of a meltdown trying to move my stuff from a very large room to a very small room but I'm moved in, mostly and adjusting quickly to my smaller but very cozy room. It still needs to be painted but that will come. Unfortunately I hurt my back and neck and have been trying to nurse those injuries for the last week (blah) and hopefully they will be somewhat better when I leave for Haiti next Thursday.

YES.

You heard me correctly....I'm flying to Haiti next Thursday to visit my very best friend and kindred spirit Diana. I'll be staying with her for 12 days and I'm a bit nervous to say the least. Nervous for so many reasons, most of which I'm not sure I can even explain. I still have to pack but I have had a twinrex vaccine, a typhoid vaccine, a cholera vaccine and some malaria pills, which are still going strong for another 6 weeks, too bad there's nothing to prepare me for the heat I'm about to experience! Hopefully I'll have a chance to blog a bit in Haiti and I can fill you in on my short term experience. I'd greatly appreciate your prayers.

I'd also like to share a few of this cutie pie pics with you.....hello Halloween....

Aren't these seriously the cutest kids!

So I apologize for my short update....hopefully I'll blog more later.

Sweet Dreams,
Darc