1 Suitcase, 1 Small Tub, 1 Clean Rav and 2 Best Friends...

You know those nights where you just need to write it out......all that stuff in your mind, on your heart and stuffed anywhere else.....the stuff that might just come pouring out if you let it? Tonight seems like one of those nights. I am leaving in 1 day for Christian Horizons so I am trying to do a million things to get ready. I am trying to fit all of my stuff into 1 suitcase and a small tub.....you'd think after YouthBuilders I may be better at this.....perhaps I am just out of practice. I got directions tonight.....mapped out my route.....it's a bit more complicated than I thought. I was sitting at the dinner table with my Dad going over the directions, he kept saying 'just let me show you on the map', I kept saying 'let me write it out first, then show me on the map because I can't read the map while I am driving unless I pull over and I don't want to pull over on the 401'......at one point I became a total girl and almost started crying because I am really tired and a tad bit stressed! I really appreciate my Dad for sticking it out......he's a great guy! I cleaned and washed my rav this weekend. I vacuumed and dusted it.....hmmmm that sounds like I'm cleaning a house.....anyways I put that stuff on the dash.....it makes it shine, I can't remember what it's called. I am too poor to afford a car wash so I got a bucket of water and filled it with dish soap, got a rag and scrubbed him. He looked beautiful afterwards, however Diana informed me that I should have 'shimmied him'. Hopefully together, the Rav and I, can make it safely to camp and back!

I have been speaking to the girls at youth for the month of may. Tomorrow night will be our finale of the series. We have been talking about not settling and what that means and looks like. When we settle in who we are, in not really loving who God made us, then it affects everything. We have been exploring some of the lies that we believe and how we put up walls and live in our lies and we don't let any truth get in. We've been looking at the truth of Psalm 139......5 thoughts......I am Seen, I am Knit-Together, I am Complex, I am Blessed and God Thinks About Me. It's been really challenging for me as I have been working through my preparation. On our last Tuesday together we specifically looked at the words complex and blessed. I feel really passionate about this idea of being blessed. Pslam 139 tells us that we are blessed but I believe this word is not a simple one. In 1 Corinthians 12:4-7 it talks about the different gifts that each of us have from God. The crucial part comes in verse 7 where it says that we were given these gifts for the common good, which means when we are not true to how God made us then essentially other people miss out. We were given gifts for the good of other people! So when we choose to settle to not use them then other people miss out. When I think about my life and all of the times that I have been blessed through other people I am overwhelmed. It those people would have chosen to not be true to how God made them than I would have missed out or suffered. We also talked about this idea of 'burying our gifts'. If you look at all the needs in this world and look at all the people with untapped blessing and gifts, you realize that there are some people who are burying some things! It was a great reminder and challenge for me.....perhaps it was for some of the girls as well. You don't want to BURY IT!!!!
Tomorrow night we are wrapping things up with looking at this idea of God thinking about us and how settling in who we are effects all of life.....specifically our relationships with our friends, our family, with boys and in our dreams. I feel a bit scatter brained at the moment so I pray that the Lord would just give me the ideas He wants to communicate and the frame of mind to do it in.


Last weekend was Pitch and Praise in Paris, Ontario. I had a great time, I was thoroughly exhausted afterwards but who isn't after Pitch?!? The speakers were awesome this year, the bands were great. Pillar was there this year.....I must say I love Pillar and it was their best show that I have ever been to.....they sang Smiling Down, which is one of my favourite songs. Amanda Falk was there too.....not as many people had heard about her but my brother Greg and I love her and were super stoked when we heard she was gonna be at Pitch. She sang a song and the words have stayed with me.....'I'd rather be far from anywhere with you than anywhere without you'. I love this thought. I want this to be truth for me.

Last night the girls and I had our last hang-out before I leave. Diana and I were planning on going to a worship night at a church we had never been to before but when we got there we found out it was just for youth....lol! So we decided to drive to the other side of St. Kitts to go to another church but we got there at like the closing of the service......I really think that there needs to be like a 9:00pm worship service for young adults somewhere! Anyways we decided to go to Starbucks and I wanted to go to a beach somewhere so we headed to The Beacon......a very fancy restaurant with a beautiful marina behind it. We watched the sun set and walked on the rocks and took some beautiful pics. It was such a good time.....it was our own worship time! Then we headed to the Zuidersma house to see Vick and took some fun pics with her. I was reminded last night of how blessed I am to have the best friends ever! I love them.....they bring so much joy, laughter and love to my life. Diana is leaving for Haiti in September and I don't want to think about how much I will miss her but I am so thankful to be able to do life with such amazing women of God!


This probably seems like the most random blog ever.....sorry......my thoughts are so scattered tonight.

Last thought.......today we had staff meeting....we watched one of the newest Nooma's by Rob Bell, it's called Open. It's all about prayer. It's a deep one and watching it somehow takes you to those deep places, sometimes the ones we're afraid to go. I ask a lot of questions, always have, I think I sometimes drive my parents nuts. I want to have answers to my questions. I like to get things, know why things happen the way they do. This sometimes becomes a really big stumbling block for me in my relationship with God because there are some questions that just do not have answers. My mind is too small and God is too big. It seems that the more I get to know God the less I know! It's difficult for me to trust sometimes because trusting involves saying I trust you even though you might act in a way that I don't get and that doesn't make sense to my human mind. I guess it's my point of surrender. It's one thing to say God is good when you seem to understand everything but it's another to say it even when things are cloudy. I don't want to be the type of person the sways when things get hard, I want to love God even if I don't get it all. Rob Bell talked about this idea of prayer not just changing things but prayer changing you.......this connectedness with God and with other people that prayer brings, it can change us. That's the reassuring thing.....even if I don't get it all, I am still connected with God, my heart is still his, nothing can take that away. In retrospect the things that seem so big in my life are probably just a blip on the screen, but God is still in it with me.

I am not in this alone, no matter how far away I may go.

This week I just have to make it to Paisley!

Sweet Dreams,
Darc

Hark....A new blogger has been unleashed!!!!

I just wanted to share quickly about one of my best friend's new blog. Diana Wiebe will be leaving for Haiti at the end of the summer. She will be there for one year serving as a teacher. You can check our her blog at...
www.embracing-hope.blogspot.com.
Please remember her in your prayers.


Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit

A few thoughts...

A few of you have watched the Starving Jesus documentary. I think there are mixed responses. I like the controversy! First of all I think it's a great documentary to get us thinking. The film seems to shift about half-way through and focus more on the struggles of the 40 day fast that these 2 guys are on. It also gives us a deeper look into some of the relational aspects of the friendship of these two guys and how they work out conflict, I found this rather intriguing. The essential message is to get off the pew and start reaching your community. I believe that this is at the core of Jesus' teaching......not so much the pew part but reaching the community, loving people, serving them. These guys are saying that the American church is lazy, maybe they are, but I live in Canada so really I can't speak about America. I think that there are lots of people who are lazy and who would rather be served than serve. I guess we all have our moments living in that mentality. However, I have had a bit of experience trying to recruit volunteers for church stuff and there are those people that serve and serve and serve and then there are those people that take and take and take and never give. I strongly believe that people need to serve. It makes them feel better about themselves and it promotes this feeling of unity, of community, of 'we're all in this together' and I think that's what the church is all about. I think it's easy to get caught up in our 'church' worlds and forget about the needs of people. This seems to be a constant challenge for me especially since I have grown up in the church and in a ministry family. We don't have to go across the world to serve. We can serve right where we are. I am blessed. I don't want that blessing to be wasted.

So do I think that the documentary is worth watching, yes, do I agree with everything in it, no, but watch it and draw your own conclusions.

I had more thoughts to share tonight but I really need to go study for my exam tomorrow.....I will write more later.

Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit

Are You Starving Jesus?

I just watched an amazing documentary. It's called Starving Jesus. Here's the link...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8666536666361002682
It's all about getting outta the pew and into the community and serving. It's very thought provoking. I may blog more about it later but I gotta run!

Yours Truly,
The Kindred Spirit

I'm From...

This is a poem I wrote for one of my classes this term....I thought I'd share it...

I'm From...

I’m from six friendly faces around the dinner table.
I’m from a canopy of dreams.
I’m from a road of changing colours and soothing breezes.
I’m from it’s tearing up my heart when I’m with you.
I’m from 3 steps to church on Sunday.
I’m from tetherball and four square at recess.
I’m from I’m more liable to break a slate over your head carrots.
I’m from heartache at 16.
I’m from picturesque dreams of a black and white Big Ben.
I’m from the land of pretenders.
I’m from 4 walls of sunshine.
I’m from I love you never-ending.
I’m from Chesley Lake summers and cozy up beside the fire winters.
I’m from a place where I belong.

Depending on how well you know me....it could be open for interpretation =),

The Kindred Spirit

Take Everything I Am...

Well it's been a long night of studying for a test I have tomorrow and I am sure it will only get worse with exams coming in two weeks! I will be glad when school is done for the year. It was a beautiful day today, I was cruising with the window down and loving it and to top it all off the Sens whipped the Leafs tonight.....8-2.....it just doesn't get any better than that! I recently got the new Starfield CD called "I Will Go" and in case you don't have it yet, I highly recommend it. I have been listening to it all day. There is one song that just really resonates with me....the words are really what I want my life to be about. I will share them with you...

I Will Go...

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the lean
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be

I will go
I will go
I will go Lord send me
To the world
To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
clay with in your hands
I will go
I will go
Send me

Let me not be blind with privilege
Give me eyes to seek the pain
Let the blessing You've poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain
Let this life be used for change

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

I love those lyrics. I am not really one of those people who has a huge desire or perhaps I don't feel a calling to go and be a missionary in a third world country (at least as of right now) but I have a huge desire to have an impact here in North America to the people around me, to the least of those. The mission field is the ground beneath my two feet...ya know. So when the song talks about the ones the world has cast aside I really want that to be the desire of my heart. Those are the people all around us who perhaps get overlooked or missed but yet have so much to offer. I have been blessed to be in a place of privilege and it is so easy to lose sight of the needs of people, of what their going through. I hope that the Lord will help me to have compassion on those people and those needs and give me eyes to see them.

Matthew 25:44 ~ Then they will reply, "Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?" And he will answer, "I assure you, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me."

I get caught up with myself, a lot. I am sure I make other people feel small sometimes and I am sure I overlook people. The very thing that this verse talks about I am guilty of. I want my life to be used for change, even if it's one life. May you give me eyes to see Lord and a heart to go where You want me to go......because I think there are lots of people here, in the Niagara Region, in Wainfleet, at Niagara College, wherever else, that feel small and insignificant and are hurting.

I hope that your prayer tonight is to be the clay within His hands,
Darc

It's that time of year again...

As most of you know....PLAYOFFS are almost here....I hope you choose your team wisely! As for me....there is only ONE choice.....LETS GO SENS!!!!


And of course I will be cheering especially for Fisher.....gotta love him!


~Darc =)

It's a long one...

I can't believe it's basically already April. I really have had no time to blog. I have thought about blogging......but there always seems to be something more important. However, tonight I am in the blogging mood.

Quick update on me: On Friday I met with an awesome guy who runs the Christian Horizons camp in Paisley and it is confirmed that I will be spending most of my summer there working and I am pretty pumped about it! You can check out the Christian Horizons website at http://www.christian-horizons.org. I have been pretty busy with school and youth and the kids ministry at Wainfleet BIC and of course trying to get ready for General Conference at the end of June.....these are my legitimate excuses for not blogging.....:)!

I have been reading a book called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I am only half way through it but I highly recommend it for those who like to expand their thinking. There are some really thought provoking things in it. For example:

"I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God."

"I don't have to watch the evening news to see that the world is bad, I only have to look at myself. I am not browbeating myself here; I am only saying that true change, true life-giving, God-honouring change would have to start with the individual. I was the very problem I had been protesting. I wanted to make a sign that read "I AM THE PROBLEM".

These are two statements/quotes so far in my reading that have stuck out. I love this idea about my heart engaging God....I want to understand it more, I want to know what it's like. Engaging God is the difference between religion and relationship in my opinion. It's such a passionate and fulfilling pursuit that I think so many miss out on. People miss the point. I miss the point. I hate that I miss the point. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of someone who isn't missing the point and I just want to get the point. Rob Bell talks about how everything is spiritual in one of his books. Everything is spiritual, everything. I've thought a lot about this. I see it everyday. In one of my classes we have been discussing effective communication, I sat in class and all I could think about was how these very principles are the ones that Jesus taught; everything is spiritual. What is the number one thing that most companies strive to do......serve the customer well. Servanthood....everything is spiritual. I recently stood at the ocean shore and watched the sun rise and the tide come in, I was in awe because everything is spiritual. I can't look at a human being in all our complexity without thinking that everything is spiritual. I am finding that this pursuit of Christ, of engaging God is amazing. It breathes this depth into my life that gives me purpose and this sense of passion. I don't want to lose it. I don't ever want to stop engaging God.

One of the most awesome things about everything being spiritual is that every single person is surrounded by God even if they are unaware. Perhaps this is one of the reasons I enjoy dialoguing with people about "deeper" stuff.....because most people don't naturally think about God outside of "religion" and what that looks like or what it could mean in their lives. I think people are scared to think about stuff that matters because they might have to change.

The second quote talks about how if I want true change, it has to start with me because I AM THE PROBLEM. This is a hard one to grasp.....especially since it seems to be part of our human nature to constantly blame our problems on anyone or anything else, at least it's a problem for me, maybe I'm the only one, but I doubt it. Maybe I should make a sign that says I am the problem and hang it up, just like this guy says. I don't really know what this means yet. I haven't figured it out. How do I get from admitting I am the problem to true change. What does this look like? How do I actually admit that I am the problem and mean it?

Last weekend was Easter. I love Easter. Essentially Easter is the foundational holiday of my faith. We celebrate the cross, how Jesus, this perfect guy who loved people in this radical way decided that he loved people so much that he would take on all our sins, our failures, our dirt, he would take all our crap and put it on himself so that we would have a chance to really live and to engage God. I AM THE PROBLEM. Jesus wasn't the problem. Yet he died for me because I am the problem and he wanted me to have an opportunity to experience true change. I can't comprehend this. How can someone love me this way? Sometimes I think about my life and about who I am and I am ashamed and I wonder if God really loves me as much as he says he does and maybe he would love me more if I could be better. I know the Sunday school answer....but that answer doesn't always ring true in my heart. I hear the voice of condemnation.

Today in church we talked about condemnation.....the voices that discourage us, rob us of joy and peace, hide God and leave us feeling defeated. I hear these voices a lot. I was challenged today with the thought that those voices need to be rebuked or flushed out with the un-condemning voice of Jesus.....he says you are loved, you are forgiven, your are not condemned, you are treasured, I believe in you, I am with you. Hmmmm......these are the words that I need to remember. These are the words that tell me that God loves me as much as he says he does.

So......where does this leave me tonight......after all of my ramblings......it leaves me with the reality of the cross in my life, the reality of the passionate love Jesus has for me and the reality of my desire to engage God in spite of me being the problem.

So is there anyone else out there who think they may be the problem too?
Perhaps you should think about engaging God.

Sweet dreams my friends,
The Kindred Spirit

Beautiful...

This is a pic I took while I was in Myrtle Beach. It's overwhelming to stand by the ocean and reflect that the God who created all of this beauty knows my name and He loves me. Life looks a little different from that perspective!

Happy Birthday Ben...

I have been thinking a lot lately. About a lot of things really. About life. I have also been reading a lot lately. C.S. Lewis seems to be quickly becoming one of my favourite authors. I think it is so important for us as humans to keep thinking about stuff, no matter what stage of life we may find ourselves in. We need to keep asking questions, keep defining who we are and what we believe and why we believe it. We need to keep changing. I am becoming convinced of this more and more everyday. I look at the world around me, I watch the news, I go to school and I come home and I wonder if there is any good left in this world because somedays it just seems like it's getting worse and worse. The standard of evil just keeps getting pushed more and more. I wonder what the 'norm' will be in 10 years from now. Lord may my light shine. It's so easy to be torn between going with the status quo and choosing to live differently. Somedays I win the battle and somedays I lose. On the days that I lose Lord, may I come on my knees again and ask for courage to live differently tomorrow. It's my battle and no one else can fight it for me. We all have our battles. The ones that we fall prey to. The sin that wages a war against our very souls and our character. This week I sang the words to a song. It's a beautiful song and I pray that these words would become my anthem, the one that stays with me always. I want these to be the words that drive me to let my light shine because this world needs a little light:

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

These words are simple but the truth in them is life changing. These are the words that make the difference. These are words of promise. Breathe them in, let them fill you up, speak them, and when you are unsure and uncertain whisper them to the deepest places of yourself and hold tightly to them.

About 4 years ago my older brother Ben died. Tonight I miss him, a lot. Tonight I need to whisper those words. Tomorrow is Ben's birthday. He would have been 23. He's in heaven now and I know he doesn't want to come back but sometimes I wish he could just for one day. I have 2 younger brothers names Greg and Josh. Greg plays the guitar, sings, and writes songs among his many other talents. He recently but a poem to music which he sang for me tonight. These are the words:

Miss Me But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not for long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me but let me go.

For this is a journey
That we all must take
And each must go alone
It's all part of the master's plan
A step on the road to home

When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And hurry your sorrow in doing deeds
Miss me, but let me go.

It's beautiful. Miss me but let me go. Much easier said than done I assure you. I'm glad that the Lord walks with us through the hurts. Tomorrow is another day to celebrate Ben's life. He is a brother that I was so blessed to know and love and learn from. His legacy seems to live on in my life especially. Ben had cerebral palsy and he was severely disabled. Ben is the reason that I want to work with and love other people who have disabilities. When I talk to and hang out with people who have developmental disabilities I see a part of Ben in them. I see a part of the story of my family in them. I will forever be grateful for the gentle lessons Ben left me. Upon first glance no one would ever know the kind of influence a boy like Ben would ever have on the many people who walked in and out of his life. It's a powerful testament to the grace of God. So there is a good chance that there may be a few tears tomorrow but the tears can't drown out the joy there is in knowing Ben has been set free!

Sleep well my friends
and please never stop thinking and questioning,

The Kindred Spirit